Perhaps I should have said "container", rather than "pot". Either word, your tree is growing on a NYC roof, and not in an actual meadow. That you are able to keep other, putatively more sensitive, trees thriving is great. As you may have gathered from the number of recent posts about cherry trees, weeping or otherwise, many people have difficulties with them. It may be that something damaged the bark, and sap wept out and solidified, and there is no disease involved. It is possible that your tree acquired a borer - does it look like the sap solidified from a small hole? It is possible that your tree does not have gummosis - all you can do at this point is wait and see. Keep an eye on it, and if there looks to be something else wrong, then post again. That the soil was sterile when you planted implies that if your tree has gummosis, then it came from the nursery - I don't know the incubation period well enough to say for sure. But, I am sure your trees are visited by birds and insects, so one of them could also have brought some disease in on feet, feathers or through droppings.

I presume there's a reason why this child is in fulltime daycare? You and your husband both work? Any chance one of you could change their schedule so the need for putting your child in daycare would be reduced? I'm all for children socializing with others, but truly, NO ONE teaches or cares for a child like a parent does. You're seeing that now. Children of that age do need a lot of time with their parents. As to naptime--your child must need the sleep or he wouldn't be napping so long. You say bedtime is a challenge. As a parent, and a family living teacher, I have to ask--do you know what the most common reason for difficult bedtimes is? It's that the child is OVERtired. what a lot of young parents don't understand is how a child's body works. When we get tired, we wind down and get sleepy. When toddlers get tired, their bodies release loads and loads of extra adrenalin--hence you have a hyper child who is too wired to go to sleep. There has even been a very reputable study that shows that many (not all, mind you, but about half) the cases of ADHD in children are NOT legitimate ADHD, but simply lack of adequate sleep. Does your child get a full 12 hours of sleep daily (adding up the naptime and bedtime?) Even if he is, it's possible he's one of those who truly does need a little more sleep than 'average'. However, what you're describing about the daycare is totally unacceptable. You're describing a facility where the workers don't care about the child or parents, where they're there just putting in time to collect a paycheck, where they're happy doing as little as possible (a sleeping child is one they don't have to: care for, amuse, watch, etc). The problems you've noticed all come down to the same thing--the daycare workers DO NOT WANT to do their job. I wouldn't allow someone with that attitude to dogsit my pet, let alone care for the most precious thing in my life. It may be time to look into other alternatives--as I suggested, perhaps a schedule change at work. Or maybe there's a family member you trust who would be glad to watch your child for the same $$$ you're paying the daycare. Or you may have to go further afield and find a different daycare center (even if you have to drive some to get there) or a retired person in your neighborhood who is more responsible than the place you're currently using. Good luck! You mentioned your husband--if you are both working, I urge you to sit down and crunch the numbers. Unless you're a really high-end executive, or in some other high paying job, you may find, when you do the math, that you're going to work for just a few cents an hour. Add up: the cost of daycare, the higher taxes you pay, the cost of transportation, the cost of going to work (clothes, union dues, buying lunches out, work parties, gifts for coworkers, etc), the cost of being out of the house hours a day (buying more takeout/prepared foods, hiring others to do stuff around the house like yard work, painting, repairs, etc). When I got pregnant, we did the calculations--and we figured that I'd be going to work for $2000/year or less. Add to that, the fact that you're turning the care and raising of your child over to strangers--it wasn't worth it to us. It made sense financially for me to stay home. It made even more sense to use for me to be the one caring for our daughter, teaching her academically, being the one to educate her in morals and ethics--no one does all that like a fulltime mom. There's a reason why this country is having a lot of the problems it is (crime, irresponsibility, unwed parents, abusive relationships), and IMO, a big part of that is that children are NOT being raised by their parents, the way they have been in the past. Good luck

What's the problem? What harm is the bottle doing? Do you think she will take a bottle to sleepovers when she's 9 or 10? Do you expect she will still want a bottle at night when she goes to kindergarten? You are on the edge of how long she will want that....my son was over 4 when he decided her easily could do without... It really is of no importance but to you.... Let her take the bottle to bed....tell her that some day she will be a big girl and won't need to take a bottle to bed....find some "big girl" she admires and say "big girl like, sunny sun bean" or whoever. But to put the poor little thing through even one night of bereavement (because that's what it is) when it's not necessary is cruel. 2 of my 7 grand kids had "milk and blankie time" which was the night time bottle and a cuddle in front of the TV in a darkened room and then to bed....gradually it became milk and sippy cup....and then milk in a glass and eventually "brush your teeth and we'll have a cuddle before bed" time. I quit smoking after 40 years......and the way I did was to always know that it was my choice and I could have a cigarrete any time I wanted. I suggest that the way to quit the bottle is to tell her that she can have a bottle any time she wants, but she's getting to be a very big girl and soon she won't want a bottle any more. But dont' make her and the whole house miserable over a few more months of a bottle....not worth it! Linda C

Hi Domy, I have two, maybe three!, sides on this one. One being I became a stepmom when I married my husband and we have full custody of her. Two, I have two children from a previous marriage who also live in our home along with a baby daughter we had together. There are some, and this is an extreme word, regrets. We got married 5 months after our engagement. That's a big one for me, as I wish I would have waited longer to learn more about step-parenting and wish we would have gotten some very definitive counseling. I know it's been said time and time again, but stepparenting is a hard hard job. In our family, bio-mom doesn't and hasn't seen SD in 4 years, so I don't have to deal directly with her. However, this woman that forfeited the privelege of being a mother due to addictions is on a pedestal here. SD will always have these fantasies of her mom and make them known to me and consistently reassures me that I will never be as good as her "mom". So be prepared that no matter how hard you try and however senseless her daddy may behave, you won't measure up. Secondly, my DH hears my children build up their daddy constantly. Their dad is involved and we see him frequently. We have given him open invitation to come to our home as often as he wishes for the sake of the children, especially birthdays and holidays, but he doesn't accept. BUT my DH is a strong and secure man (emotionally) because if SD's birth mom was around a lot, that'd be a big pill to swallow, having to interact with her. You really cannot be a jealous person to be a good stepparent. So before you make that plunge, ask yourself the really tough questions. And lastly, if you plan on having a child together, you should really get the stepparenting issue down first. Give your soon-to-be SD time to adjust to all the changes. You will be amazed at the difference in your feelings when you have a child of your own and it could hurt SD if you're not careful. Establish that relationship for her security first. I hope I have helped, I wish I would have taken my own advice because it could have saved my family some heartbreak. Good luck to you!