mice are pretty smart lil things, and catch on to the traps. I have seen them eat all around without setting it off. Dave, when I use a live, have a heart trap its for the bigger critters...I could never kill them..I couldnt even kill a mouse. I just relocate into the woods. I only relocate the trouble makers, lol. If there's a critter here and he's causing no probs, I'll leave him be. I love critters. But, when one..like the raccoon starts destroying things, like my pond! He's gotta go. I hear him sometimes at night splashing around. I have so many rocks from around the sides missing, its ridiculous..plants knocked around..at least he hasn't gotten any fish yet. He did when they were in the smaller preformed ponds. Karyn, that's kinda gross...do you smell burning fur when they are getting zapped? ew. We don't have any mice since I let my cat start going outside. He's a hunter. Thats another reason I want the coon gone. I'm scared him and the cat are going to fight.

forgive me for being a realist, but, when a woman gets married, it isn't asking too much that her husband consider her feelings, lifts a finger in regards to her security and the stability that everyone, male or female, needs when they realize that they are aging. I mean, a couple in their 40's! Who wants to continue growing old with someone who wouldn't even assist in the basic aspiration of owning a home? I guess he wants them to live in an old age home or be at the mercy of landlords who could decide to do anything with the property they are currently living on. Coming to think of it, I am sure this guy is expecting their daughter to take care of them in old age. He sounds selfish enough to naturally expect that, making no effort to secure himself and then burdening her, really shouldn't be considered a burden for her. There are billions of men on this earth, alot of them are capable of much better. At the end of the day, this woman needs to ask herself (considering that she could simply get another man), if there is anything sooo noble and great about this guy, that paying with her lifetime of happiness, peace and security is worth it in the end. There is no punishment as horrible as laying at the end of your days regretting that you didn't live a happy life, and for nothing. He is choosing to be selfish, he has no disorder, but laziness, selfishness and a strong controlling nature to prevent him being questioned. He is literally making her pay with her life for having fallen in love with him, and marrying him 10 yrs ago. No man is worth a lifetime of sacrifice to end up with nothing at all. And further she isn't his mother, he isn't a little boy, he has reached his 40's with this attitude. He is unyealding when questioned, I just think that beating the therapy horse will just encourage him to exhibit his usual 'yes man' strategy to get her off his back, like when she gave him the unlimatum, there will be no positive actions following his "apparent" agreeable reaponse. I think that distance, and time to find herself after being buried for so long is not too much to ask, as a matter of act it is in full order.

Soon-to-be, As for being attacked, I've been attacked too, when I first started to post. I suggest you try to ignore that and glean what you can from the good advice given here. You are about to make a big change in your life with marriage and becoming a step-parent. My stepdaughters were in their early 20's when my husband and I got married, so I don't have experience with a child, but when kids are spoiled and allowed or even encouraged to get away with bad behavior, it can really mold their personality as an adult. The case in point are my two stepdaughers. The older one was absolutely spoiled rotten by her Mom and Dad. My husband has even called her a spoiled, rotten brat and we're talking about a woman who is over the age of 30 with a family of her own. She was never displined and there was a huge disparity in the way she was raised versus her little sister and what she got versus her little sister. Now everyone, including both of her parents, are a little bit afraid of her because she screams and yells when things don't go exactly as she wants them to. It obviously worked when she was a kid, so why not now? She has a mean streak a mile long and I've seen this in her attitude toward her father, her mother, her younger sister and even my dog, who she kicked once simply because he was in her way. I avoid her like the plague. It is the only thing I can do and keep my sanity and sense of well-being. Is it my fault that she is like this? I didn't raise her. On the opposite side of the spectrum is the youngest SD, who has a sweet disposition and is a loving, unselfish person. She didn't receive the same physical and intellectual blessings as her older sister. Her parents were very loving with her, but didn't over-inflate her ego like they did with the oldest daughter. I absolutely love her and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her. You are wise to take note of this child's behavior. It is a red flag of things to come. Does your fiance see her behavior as a problem? Does he have a strong enough personality to help make a change in her behavior now, before it is too late? If he doesn't see it, it will be a great source of problems for you when you are married. Best of luck and please keep posting.

"his ex hates my husband she is not sad they they are not together. She likes to cause trouble though." I didn't mean that she is pining away for him, but you said, "My husband was fooling around with the mother of his other child for years on top of everything to start off. I stayed with my husband because I believe in love and 2nd chances." & I thought you are saying that he was fooling around with the mother of this 8 year old & if he was doing that while he was seeing you, then yes this child saw his parents 'together' at least in some way, unless they were so sly that they hid it from their own child. And even if the mother hates him & is not sad, that does not mean she does not let her son know how angry she is (anger is also a feeling that is much easier to express than hurt, so who knows if she truly hates him or is hurt he finally ended it with her and married you) but I'm sure the child picks up on those feelings because children are little sponges & know more than most people give them credit for. If mommy is angry all the time at daddy, of course it's going to affect how he feels about daddy's house & the new wife, baby, etc. "I think that it's good to be proactive and encourage my stepson to be nice to my son. I don't try to force it upon him. To me to encourage him to love his brother should be a good thing. I agree that yes he is eight and may be frustrated which is understandable. I just don't think that it should be ok that he takes it out on my 2 year old son. If their our any mothers out there you know how you are protective over your children no matter who it might be. If it was my neice , my friend son. I would not stand them to be nasty to my children." If you want to protect your 2 year old, then never allow the 8 year old to be alone with him. It's THAT simple. If dad refuses to acknowledge the problem, then it rests with YOU to protect the baby & make sure he's always in your sight when big brother is around. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a happy little family, but if he (the 8 year old) does not want that, it is going to backfire to force it. I believe he does know right from wrong & he has anger, resentment issues... maybe from how his mother expresses, directly or inadvertently. He is manipulative if he changes face when dad comes around the corner & I agree with Sylvia that is a dangerous child that does that. (reminiscent of "the good son") Lovehadley has a great point that leaving is probably not the best idea since the child only comes over every other weekend and leaving could place the younger child in jeopardy when he would visit. The bottom line is that unless mom & dad are willing to work together to find out why their son is so aggressive & deal with it, then the only solution is to never allow your baby to alone with him. Yes, he was part of the package as you & your kids were part of a package, but YOU and your DH accepted each other's package... the kids don't get a choice. He didn't choose the package so how can you expect him to accept you as you've accepted him. You are the adult.