Return to the Stepfamily Forum | Post a Follow-Up

My boyfriend has 2 daughters

Posted by jordanapapa85 (My Page) on
Sat, Oct 5, 13 at 16:08

I am 28 years old and my boyfriend is 31. We live in Germany. We are both highly educated, doing our first career steps. He has 2 kids with his ex (they weren't married) and I don't know if I should keep going. I'm afraid of his financial obligations to his children. What if we go serious and we can't have children because he can't afford it? What if we have a child but we can't provide what is needed because he spends all his money on the other children? (German system is very harsh with financial obligation of the father.)

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: My boyfriend has 2 daughters

No one can really tell you what to do. From my life experience I would not marry him. There are a lot of opinions and experiences in here so read them.

I read that the number one cause of failure in the first marriages is money.

The number two cause is children. I am assuming that is in second marriages. It's not easy.

RE: My boyfriend has 2 daughters

Well, presumably your boyfriend is aware of his financial obligations and how much income he has left after meeting those obligations. Surely you can work out a budget to decide if you can comfortably raise your own family or not.
(And good on the German system for compelling parents to financially support the children they bring into the world.)

RE: My boyfriend has 2 daughters

You need to have a budget meeting with your boyfriend, & maybe a pre-nup meeting with an attorney.

You need to know if you'll be happy living with whatever financial situation he brings to the table, & you need to know if the courts consider a wife's income as a factor in assessing a father's child support.

I wish you the best.

 o Post a Follow-Up

Please Note: Only registered members are able to post messages to this forum.

    If you are a member, please log in.

    If you aren't yet a member, join now!

Return to the Stepfamily Forum

Information about Posting

  • You must be logged in to post a message. Once you are logged in, a posting window will appear at the bottom of the messages. If you are not a member, please register for an account.
  • Please review our Rules of Play before posting.
  • Posting is a two-step process. Once you have composed your message, you will be taken to the preview page. You will then have a chance to review your post, make changes and upload photos.
  • After posting your message, you may need to refresh the forum page in order to see it.
  • Before posting copyrighted material, please read about Copyright and Fair Use.
  • We have a strict no-advertising policy!
  • If you would like to practice posting or uploading photos, please visit our Test forum.
  • If you need assistance, please Contact Us and we will be happy to help.

Learn more about in-text links on this page here