Rude stepdaughter
laVerneMaynard7
11 years ago
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sylviatexas1
11 years agoreadinglady
11 years agoRelated Discussions
In Laws, Exwife and Adult Stepdaughter
Comments (82)Sorry, I was having a bad day when I posted that. In this case the ex does get a significant amount of child support from him even though she makes more money than he does and the daughter lives with us 2-4 days a week. She also gets financial support from her family and his family (they love her and only recently stopped shunning me). She has a boyfriend that lives with her part-time and she basically supports him (with the help our our money if you think about it...) She has the daughter enrolled in all kinds of activities like dance classes,swimming classes, cooking classes, etc. The daughter has lots of nice toys and clothes and goes to one of the best pre-schools around. She does not go without anything and is well loved and doted upon at both households. She is spoiled by both sets of grandparents, all the aunts and uncles, and even my own mother sometimes. When my significant other lost his overtime at work his child support stayed the same. Then when he got laid off his child support stayed the same. When she got a new job and started making more money his child support stayed the same. When we got our heat turned off for non-payment his child support stayed the same. We have 2.5 people living in our house but I pay 50% of everything while he pays someone else who makes more than him. That just doesn't sit well with me. We can't afford to pay our bills anymore and forget about ever taking a vacation or saving money. When he was with his ex they had a savings account, took nice vacations and were looking into buying a house. We're broke. There are other issues I won't bother going into here because it's too long and I guess I have some big decisions to make. He says he'll never get married or have more kids and I want those things. It feels so unfair to me that he did those things with someone else but won't do them with me. It's like someone else got it all and I'm getting nothing. But I have to accept a stepchild and an ex wife that will always be in our lives and I have no choice but to make sacrifices for them. I love him and his daughter and I get along fine with his ex but I am clearly the least important person to him....See MoreAdult stepdaughter week
Comments (20)laVerne, you might want to start your own new thread. What you've posted is rather a new topic all of it's own and may get over looked at the bottom of Thurman's repetitious complaints. As I did see your post, I'll hand out my 2 cents. IMO your husband is allowing this adult woman to run right over both himself and you. When's he going to stand up for himself and say 'enough'? Sure, every grandparent wants to see their grandchildren and be a part of their life, but most of them don't sale their soul to the devil to do so. Your husband (and you) are being emotionally blackmailed by a immature spoiled rotten little girl who has failed to grow-up and function in the adult world. My best advice is that husband sits down with his daughter and has a long serious discussion. Just the two of them. They either work it work, adult to adult, or daughter can run pout in a corner and play victim. It's her and her children's loss if she chooses to cut Daddy out of her life over a temper tantrum over babysitting. In the meantime, stop inviting them over weekly for dinner. Toss out a sincere invitation like every 4 to 6 weeks. If they say 'yes' and don't show, pre-plan for it. Choose a menu that does not knock you out and that can be put into small portions and frozen for husband and you to pull out of freezer on evenings you don't feel like cooking. That way all your work does not go wasted and actually turns into a postive for you. Or just stop inviting them...that's a decision you'll have to make on your own. As for babysitting, find something to do such as volunteer time a few days a week so husband and you are not so available. I love to have my grandkids and I did babysit fulltime 11 yrs ago when my first grandson was born. With that said, it was 11 yrs ago. I'm not in a time and place in my life currently that I would offer to do it again for a next baby. My youngest son and future DIL have long been told that. When they start their family, yes, I'll love being a part of baby's life and having him/her over a day and/or night a week or so, but I will not be a fulltime sitter and not expect me to be. Son has been informed now so he and future DIL can plan their family and finances accordingly....See MoreMy stepdaughter is driving me crazy.
Comments (70)There's nothing sibling rivalry about her bahavior. The resentment, embarrassment, and other feelings described here concerning a much, much younger sibling is nonsense, justified as normal or legitimate because they had no one to tell them their feelings were wrong. People think and feel all kinds of things, but just because it's the way one feels doesn't make it right, hence there is murder and much other wrongful doing in the world. If they had someone to set them straight, the subjects would never have entered into your thread as anything of concern or consideration. Given any opportunity, I think your SD will abuse the baby - smack him, pinch him, or anything she can do to make him cry, if not *accidentally* drop him - because she lives in a very dark place mentally and emotionally, and she wants the whole world to be as angry, sad, and unhappy as she is. For him to think it nothing more than sibling rivalry is turning a blind eye. He needs an intervention to make him realize and understand the damage he's doing his daughter, and therefore his marriage and his son. You might talk to a health care professional and tell them the same as you've told us (and everything you haven't told us). Then, ask them to help you talk to your husband. I know you don't want to leave, but I'm truly impressed you are seriously considering it as more than just threatening in order to get your way. I don't know how the women who threaten end up feeling when they don't get their way and don't leave either. You can't keep being walked on like this, but he isn't going to listen to you. He isn't going to do any more than he has been doing no matter how much you threaten. It might take you leaving to get his attention, and then you can demand he go with you to talk to the professional. You might demand it before leaving but if he refuses, then you have to walk out the door, realizing it is likely forever and no amount of tears and begging you to come back can change your mind unless he changes his. If you don't leave, then please don't leave the baby with him when you go back to work. He has a cautious mother to protect him right now. Who will protect him when you're gone? His father never will believe there is any danger or concern....See MoreHusband with stepdaughter
Comments (58)I see that some of you are judging me about my stepson. I worked part time and his father worked full time. I would get a phone call every day from the Principal at the High School because of his behavior. He was suspended from school, would threaten both my daughters and his half brother. His father at the time I gave him the option of who was leaving said he didn't want to deal with him.His mother told him he didn't have to listen to me because I was nobody. I tried to get along with him for over 8 years. So please don't judge me about him. He still gets in trouble and is not talking with his father because of something that was said. He was drunk and stood outside of our house at 2:30 am telling his father he wanted to fight him and kept calling him a ni***r! This has gone on as long as I can remember. His father is controlling and when I do try to talk to him about this, it's his way or the highway. Our son (that we have together-16 yrs old) stays in his room at night to just to stay away from him. He drinks about 8 beers a night and starts up with me about her not being home, her bills etc. She works 30 hours a week and cannot go back to school until she pays off her debt with Sallymae. She doesn't get in trouble and sticks to her one night out. He brings this up in the morning,afternoon and night and I am so tired of dealing with him. Why can't he just say it once and let it go! This is what I am dealing with. I know you only get one side of this. Just thought I would get other peoples opinions. By the way, my daughter went to counseling in high school and I went a few times with her. Even the therapist said he sounds like an a**. Anyway that's about all I have to say. Thanks for responding....See MorelaVerneMaynard7
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