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irishmom_gw

Wedding plans and step daughters

irishmom
14 years ago

Hi, everyone! This is my first post so please bear with me. I have been with my SO for 7 years and have decided to get married in a few weeks. He has a 17 yo daughter and 13 yo daughter. My relationship with the younger one is fantastic. The older one has tried to split us up in the past, attempting to set her father up with a friend's mom, etc. She and her mother are very close.

My SO's ex is very intrusive and calls him to ask for dating advice and home advice. She has recently begun hanging out with his mother, who had always outlined her extreme dislike of her. Needless to say, my relationship with my future MIL is NOT very good.

We want to include the younger daughter in our wedding plans but we're unsure how without starting a war. The older one would resent her involvement, even if she herself held no interest in it. We would like to include both, but doubt it is likely. Any ideas that would include the older one without alienating her?

My SO thinks it is appropriate to invite the ex to the wedding, I am VERY opposed to it. He has agreed not to do so, but I am concerned she will come anyway. She's very aggressive in showing her place in our new life.

Any advice would be welcome, I'm about ready to call it all off. BTW, we have a 3 yo son together as well.

Thanks for your help!

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