I think your SD is in about the same grade as mine, and she has had nothing like that so far in school. I would expect to have a paper home to sign if she was going to participate in a sensitive subject like that. Did you find out what the point was this teacher was trying to make? If I were you, I would go sit in on the class to figure out what it is exactly they are trying to teach the kids...do they mean someone has bad character in they get a divorce or something? I know some schools have support groups to help children who are a product of divorce, but it is always done voluntarily and with parental consent......
odd IMO and I would be sitting in to observe the next class to get an idea as to whats going on...

We did something like that when I was in 7th grade -- I remember it vividly, but in a positive way. The thing that struck me most - even at the time - was the difference in the maturity levels of some of my friends. How some saw only black or white -- no shades of gray. Divorce was simply breaking a sacred promise, so wrong - period.

If your SD is uncomfortable discussing her own life experiences, she shouldn't have to. But she may simply benefit from hearing others discuss their experiences and their feelings.

I'd help her come up with a simple 'sound bite' she can use if she's asked to participate in a way that makes her uncomfortable.

I think the teacher is way out of line. My D just graduated HS and there was no egging kids on like that. The school made it clear they had counselors on call, and support groups, FOR THOSE THAT WANTED. If a child wanted to discuss issues in private, there were people. A teacher or counsleor could make a recommendation. A teacher, who by definition has some authority over kids, should not REQUIRE public discussion of private issues.

I am firmly against so called Character Education at a public school. I would not want DD to have such nonsense. DD received character education at home and reilgious institution.

Character development is somewhat culturally and religiously based. What is considered to be great by a school authorities might completelly contradict what I wanted my child to learn.

As a teacher i would never dream of asking my students such private questions in front of the whole class. Now plenty of children want to discuss their family situations or private matters wiht adults at school. It could be discussed wiht counsellor, teacher one-on-one, social worker etc. Certainly not addressed in front of the whole calss.

But let me tell you that teacher was probably told to address such questions as a part of Character Development curriculum and she possibly was uncomfortable wiht it herself. So you could probably address it with administration.

We offer online Character Development class as elcective at a high school. Curriculum actually isn't that bad but since it is online each individual student read is all on their own and answer their questions in privacy. Plus it is elective and one doesn't have to choose it.

Requiring such nonsense especially at at a middle school is ridicilous. I am glad DD never had that.

I am confused as to what character education has to do with single parents and divorce.

I would either call/email the teacher or get in touch with the school administration and find out what the intentions are.

Was the teacher trying to cultivate a sense of empathy/tolerance? IE--we all come from different backgrounds and it's important to repect that? Or was she saying that divorce shows a lack of character? I am hoping it's the former!

Definitely find out!

Requiring children to discuss their personal lives in school can cause embarassment and is wrong wrong wrong. There are other ways to try to cultivate empathy and tolerance. There are many stories and articles which can be assigned, and the teacher can say, How do you think so and so felt? What would have been a way to handle? If someone treated you like this at work, you'ld be livid. The teacher is out of line and incompetent and the principal should be notified. I would call the class mother and discuss with her.

Character is something that kids get from parenting. It's the parent's job to teach their children character, both by modeling it and talking about it. The schools have NO business teaching character, morals, values, etc. because everyone has their own set that may not match the school/teacher's. What nerve!!!

Discussing personal topics like sex, dating, relationships or family status should have parental permission... PERIOD! How dare they discuss divorce with kids that may all have different living circumstances... some very painful. How horrible would it feel for those kids that are in foster care because their parents abused or abandoned them; or what about the kids living with grandparents because their parents are on drugs, in prison, or dead? And then the kids that are living with one parent and don't see the other parent at all, such as your SD's case and how awful it must have been to have those emotions stirred up in a classroom of peers! I'm livid on your SD's behalf and I would go talk to the Principal or Superintendent of the district... I'd be furious!

I don't care what they THOUGHT they were trying to teach the kids... some things require parental consent & involvement!

I think there's a big difference between talking about these subjects in the abstract or conceptual way and talking about students individual life circumstances in a 'public' classroom.

Does anyone else here agree with that distinction?

I agree with that distinction but the teacher here asked (I'm assuming by raising their hands) who lives with one parent. I would be raising hell with the school... and I am NOT a hell raiser!

let me tell you a story.

When DD was a senior, one of her teachers was arrested for soliciting sex with minors (12-14 years old boys and girls). he was all over the news, TV and such so some of you maybe even saw it.

he was arrested Friday night arriving on a date with 13-year-old boy (more evidence showed up later that he was actually having sex wiht minors for years not just talking about it).

Earlier that day that same Friday that same teacher gave the whole class a lecture about making mature responsbile decisions in life and similar crap (it started because students weren't doing their homeowrk so he described how such small decisions can affect their whole life).

the most shocking thing for DD was not even the fact that he was child molester but that he dared to give them character development speech THAT SAME DAY. When the news came out DD actually screemed: HE GAVE US LECTURE THAT SAME DAY 5 HOURS BEFORE PLANNING ON MOLESTING A CHILD! (by the way that teacher was married wiht 2 teenager girls).

Now of course not every teacher is child molester but plenty of teachers (as well as people of other professions) are not good people, are not moral, do not have good character themselves and they better do not attempt to give that type of speeches to my child. In fact my child has better character that they do.

as about your question if it is OK to have general abstract dicussion on the topic. Teachers generally are not qualified to give such speeches or have such discussions. she is not a pshycologist or a social workeror a counsellor. Teachers are to refer a child to see a qualified professional if such discussion is needed.

In fact no one qualifies to ask children who lives with whom in front of the whole class.

My dh is also really upset about this. He says school should be a fun learning environment....not an emotional place for the kids! I am just amazed that this is part of the character ed curriculum and that this program has been in effect for a long time! I would not want to sit in a room of my peers and share my families emotional times.

Dh said he is going up to the school this week to speak to the principal about it.

Just wondering how it went with the principal.... I just recently found out that they showed a sex ed video to my fifth grader last year with no notification home what so ever. I was LIVID. I was discussing sex with my boys and my oldest said oh yeah they showed us a video and had someone talk to us last year. I was like "why didnt I know about this?" "oh well I was going to say something to you but the girls were around and then I forgot" Nice. I would have raised holy hell with the school but we were already transferring them out of that school... because I was so sick of their nonsense.

The meeting did not go well. DH was told that this is all part of the curriculum and has been for the last 6 years.

So dh came home and told me that we have 2 options. We fight it and get her taken out of the class and make her more uncomfortable or we just help her deal with being in the class. He thinks we should do the latter....

In the meantime sd came home telling us they talked about teen pregnancy and the bad points of it. And this is a public school!!

teen pregnancy might not be a bad topic to discuss, certainly better than asking whose parents are divorced. we have so many pregnant girls as early as 9th grade so it might not be a bad idea to address it...i am suprised though that this is addressed wihtout parents' permission

"Character is something that kids get from parenting. It's the parent's job to teach their children character, both by modeling it and talking about it. The schools have NO business teaching character, morals, values, etc. because everyone has their own set that may not match the school/teacher's. What nerve!!!"

Thank you, Ima! I was wondering why no one had mentioned the apalling idea that STATE employees (however good or bad they are) are trying to develop OUR kids charachter! No freakin way would I let my kid go through that class. I would have him take another section of one of the other classes.

Some kids are more mature than others and it's up to the parents to give them as much or as little information as they feel they are ready for. It's NOT up to school boards and state employees to decide how emotionally mature my child is and how much information they should be able to handle or not.