One morning a husband returns after several hours of fishing & decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors & reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman & says 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?' "Reading a book," she replies (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')" You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her. "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "For reading a book," she replies. "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her again. "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading." "Yes, but you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "Yes, but if you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the Game Warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

One of my Mom's favorite dumb blond jokes...I didn't take it personally that I was a blond... A blond gets on a plane and sits in first class. The attendant comes over and says, "I'm sorry miss, but your seat is in the back." She replies, "I'm blond and I'm beautiful and I'm going to Miami." So the attendant goes to get the senior flight attendant who tells her, "Miss, you're going to have to move to your seat in the back of the plane. This is not your seat." She replies, "I'm blond and I'm beautiful and I'm going to Miami." Well after much ado, and this gal not moving, they decide to get the Captain to come out and get her to move. So the Captain goes up to her, whispers something in her ear, and she proceeds to get up and move to the back of the plane. Stunned, the attendants asked the Captain what he said to her. He said, "Very simple. I told her the front of the plane doesn't land in Miami."

After watching the way people cook in their own kitchens I'm often more concerned about eating there than in a reputable establishment. People slobbering on the spoon to taste and snack as they're cooking, having their kids "help" in the kitchen. Setting the diapered kids on the food prep counters, purses, etc. Talking on the phone and then handling food. (What's dirtier than a phone?) Thinking about it is going to make you upset. Either get paranoid or don't let possibilities bother you. Each kitchen, whether a restaurant or home, has different standards of "cleanliness". After watching Marvin Zindler's "Rat and roach report" never stopped Houston residents from eating out, though the local health officials did occasionally. I sometimes chuckle watching the TV cooking shows, Hell's Kitchen for one, and watching them using those disgusting towels all night long wiping the plates, sticking it in their pocket, wiping the stoves, etc. Not too sure I agree with a lot of food handling procedures on those shows.

Hey folks, just writing to give an update. I'm still searching for a home, the whole process has me feeling down. It's so hard to find a home that's just affordable for me, in a good location that I want to live at in this town. I don't really want to spend more than the upper price range I set for myself. I know what I want in a house, but the choices are so limited. Finally after 1 month of waiting with no new houses being listed that I want to see during that time, I just saw a home listed 2 days ago. It looks like really nice house base on pictures, I still have to see it in person. but i think this is the one and i'm gonna pull the trigger after I see it. and the location is just perfect. In fact, it's a better home and a comparable location to the house on my very first post. Price is about the same too. Showing starts this weekend starting Saturday, but I'm working friday and all weekend, 12 hour shifts, so there's no way I can go see the house coz i get home at from work 8 pm. But my agent has already already contacted the seller's agent and made an appointment to see it on monday. I'm so anxious and nervous having to wait until monday to see it. I just have a gut feeling an offer will be made before I get the chance. houses this nice base on what i saw on zillow from Listed for sale date and listing remove, on average the difference is 1 week. I'm not sure how accurate that is from zillow, but i believe it. There was a house that was listed 2 months ago, and offers were made in just 2 days. It was a nice house, interior and backyard were in great condition, and the price was in the sweet spot for buyers in the area. It was a smaller house, but with a big backyard and pool. It was priced at $50,000 less than the upper limit of the price range that I'm looking at. I'm not surprised it sold fast.