Return to the Stepfamily Forum | Post a Follow-Up

The dreaded call and how to prep for it

Posted by mom2emall (My Page) on
Thu, Sep 17, 09 at 12:47

Grandma said she will give her dd our phone number again so she can contact the kids. My issue is it has been 8 months since she called. And she moved out of state without so much as a good-bye. There are a lot of feelings that have arised as a result of that. I am worried about how the kids will react when she calls because bm has been out of sight out of mind and this call will stir up a lot of emotion. Not so much ss's emotions because he really thinks of her as more of a distant relative. But the girls are more sensitive.

Should we tell the girls that grandma says she is giving bm our # and she may call. Maybe talk to them about their feelings so they can prepare for the call and maybe think about the things they want to say? OR do you think its better to wait and see if she calls and let them deal with it in their own way then. And we can be there for them after?

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: The dreaded call and how to prep for it

If me, I would say nothing at this point. She may not call at all. IMHO if she really had wanted to call all these long 8 months, she would have called around and found out how to. I mean, she does have her own mother's number, right. I assume she has spoken with her mother at some point in the last 8 months, yet GMa did not give BM the number. Could mean GMa was never asked for it, else she likely would have handed it out being remind by BM on phone right then.

If the call does come, again, if me, I would let dad handle it. And if I dad, I would simply tell BM that it's been a long time, he wants the kids to have some time to prepare and that she is welcome to call back at such n such on such n such day. Fair is fair, mom walked out and poofed and kids should be given a chance to have a bit of time to think about it. The kids should not have a sudden unexpected phone call.

RE: The dreaded call and how to prep for it

We were thinking about that lately in our house, wondering what to do if BM ever calls (for us it has been 2 years since there was any contact) we have decided that if bm ever calls our home, we will not hand the phone over immediatley to SD. If she can wait THAT LONG to call, than she can wait another stinkin day to talk to her, so we can sit down, explain to SD that BM has popped back up, work through the emotions and determine if SD even WANTS to call her back at all. IN my book a parent that abandons their child for that long has absolutely no right to pick up the phone and expect for anyone to be happy that they called...
I wouldn't say anything now to the kids....if you do and she doesn't call it will just stir up a hornets nest of emotions for them.........

RE: The dreaded call and how to prep for it

Your right. I guess we will wait until she calls and then make her wait a day to speak to the kids so we can prep them. I just can't believe any parent can be so detached from their child!

 o Post a Follow-Up

Please Note: Only registered members are able to post messages to this forum.

    If you are a member, please log in.

    If you aren't yet a member, join now!

Return to the Stepfamily Forum

Information about Posting

  • You must be logged in to post a message. Once you are logged in, a posting window will appear at the bottom of the messages. If you are not a member, please register for an account.
  • Please review our Rules of Play before posting.
  • Posting is a two-step process. Once you have composed your message, you will be taken to the preview page. You will then have a chance to review your post, make changes and upload photos.
  • After posting your message, you may need to refresh the forum page in order to see it.
  • Before posting copyrighted material, please read about Copyright and Fair Use.
  • We have a strict no-advertising policy!
  • If you would like to practice posting or uploading photos, please visit our Test forum.
  • If you need assistance, please Contact Us and we will be happy to help.

Learn more about in-text links on this page here