Don't know if I can go on like this anymore
goosie77
13 years ago
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maleficentcld
7 years agocolleenoz
7 years agolast modified: 7 years agoRelated Discussions
I don't think my husband likes me anymore
Comments (18)He wants sex but you're never in the mood? If you're looking for a bunch of women to sit here and tell you you're right and he doesn't appreciate what he has, don't read my post. What I will say might make you mad.... but then if you give any attempt at following my advice it will save your relationship. Go pick up a copy of "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura. There are comments after comments from men who were unhappy in their marriages. The comment is there, over and over - "My wife won't sleep with me, I think she doesn't love me." You gave an example of how HE started a fight earlier in the day.... looks to me like YOU started the fight. I'll repost here: "We were walking out of Walmart and he was carrying four 12 packs of soda. I asked if he wanted them in the trunk or the backseat, he said he didn't care. I asked again for him to just pick one, and an argument broke out. I told him all I wanted was for him to answer the question, he said he did, I said I just wanted him to pick one of the choices I gave him. He told me to get over it, and get over myself. Told me it didn't matter, I should just accept his answer, make the decision myself, and get over it. I told him that at the moment I was over him. He said he didn't care." So.... he didn't care if you put some soda in the trunk or the back seat, and you demanded that he give you an answer? What a controlling thing to do. "Just pick one," you said.... wow, that's rude. Why does he have to pick one? Why did you demand he pick one instead of just accepting that he really didn't give a flying woohoo if the pop went in the back seat or trunk? I'll break down the psychology on what happened there. You asked him to pick something. He gave an honest answer - it made no difference to him. You took that as him not caring about you in some way, and you made a power grab. "Just pick one." You were trying to control him. You started the fight because it bothered you that he didn't care. You said, "I just wanted him to pick one of the choices I gave him." Why did he have to do what you wanted him to do? Why were you so demanding? Because you wanted the control. By now, you have either matured a lot and realized you don't need to demand an answer from him or you have split. By now, you have hopefully realized that whether you like it or not, sex, and enjoying sex, is part of your duties in your marriage, just like sleeping in the same bed with you is part of your husband's duty. Now, just so you have some background on me.... I have taken a chunk out of my day to write this to you because I was once in your position. I felt like my husband didn't love me. He also didn't want to hang out with me. After a huge fight, he told me he wasn't happy with me. So I got pissed. I felt abandoned. I didn't feel like sleeping with him so he didn't get any. I also started petty little fights with him all the time. (By the way, I know why you did that, it's because there's so much hurt and resentment lying just under the surface boiling and wanting to come out). I don't know what causes it... but I felt like I had the right to demand that my husband answer stupid questions like "where should I put the pop," too. And all it did was make me miserable. So, here's how I fixed it. I read that stupid book by Dr. Laura (whom I really don't like anyway). I learned about what my husband thought about me. I learned about how he thinks. I learned that when I say "I'm not in the mood" he hears "I don't love you." If you want to keep your man, you'll figure out how to get in the mood. You'll actually eventually enjoy and need it, too. Next, I promised myself I was going to let the little arguments go. I was going to work on being extra nice, even when I didn't think he was being nice to me or I thought he was being rude. Please understand, we used to scream at each other and break up. Neighbors once complained about our fighting. Our kid was involved. It wasn't an easy mess to fix, but I promise it was MY mess to fix. I'm so glad I did. By putting my guard down and just putting love out there toward him (AND SEX), I found my best friend. And he knows how lucky he is to have me, and I can't imagine life without him, even for a minute. I wish you the best of luck in your journey :)...See MoreWeek: I don't even know anymore!!!
Comments (14)I love your strawberry wall! What did you use to hold up the pots? The round metal bits, what are they? I'd love to do something like this but I'm afraid the only place I could put them would be hit by the basketball all the time. Maybe I could tuck them in a corner by house. I have stuff I don't need because I'm too lazy to go through it. LOL Actually, I want to scan a bunch of the kids artwork and projects, and that is a time consuming rainy day task. I guess I could have worked on it throughout the winter. I got rid of a bunch of stuff when I did the kitchen, but I need to get the lights fixed in the basement to do anything down there. I need a nice sunny day for that, since I'll have to shut off the breaker and there's not much natural light. I'm kind of afraid to take down the fluorescent thing but it doesn't work anyway, and I might get lucky and find a junction box up there under all the fluorescent stuff. Texas, I'm glad you're making progress. OldBat, your greenhouse looks great. Your plants are really coming along. Schicksal, I have doilies my Gramma made. I don't really use them, but I won't throw them out....See MoreI Guess I Don't Know How To Count Anymore
Comments (22)"The middle class isgoing away, too, isn't it?" No, I don't think so. I hate thinking or talking about things in purely class terms but the road to personal economic comfort and success in life has long been through education and hard work. Not just academic education, education and training in the trades, skilled jobs and other like pursuits count too. When the US had a large manufacturing sector, there were millions of people so employed without education, without much training, whose high wages made them think they'd found a back door to the "middle class". It was temporary. Economies evolve over time. Just as the guy who was expert in managing teams of horses to plow fields found himself unemployed when tractors became available, so too the unskilled factory workers had nothing to turn to when factories closed. There are more people employed today at higher paying jobs than ever in our history. But if your only skill is the equivalent of managing teams of horses to plow fields and you're unwilling or unable to train for other things and to move away from the farm area you've always lived in, you're going to have a hard time finding consistent work and income. Getting educated or trained for a job is the ticket into the meritocracy of our society. Not always, and not everywhere, but opportunities exist for those who have worked to get the right background to pursue them. If you do nothing, you get nothing....See MoreI feel like I don’t know my colours anymore
Comments (0)Hello, I got these cuttings at the garden centre a few months ago. They were literally twigs and they were my personal experiment - testing a theory I had. I had no idea what the rose would grow into but they both ended up being the same. I cannot even begin to describe this colour. It’s actually NEON in person. I’ve never seen a rose this colour. It’s like flamingo/coral and all sorts of orange. I typically dislike (much), orange roses but this is so unusual. And no, I do not know what the name of the rose is...See Morebeentheredonehat
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