Husband expects me to leave my money to all kids equally.
dalda
12 years ago
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justmetoo
12 years agodalda
12 years agoRelated Discussions
Husband and I expecting
Comments (25)Thanks again everyone for your kind wishes. Rob, Francesco and Antonella are lovely names. I have an aunt Antonella, we call her Toni, here in America. Also Uncle Francesco and several cousins!!!My Father was Paulo Mamma is Margarita, so the names go go go. Fignut, I will do this when teething. Good Idea and nutritious too!! Thanks. Big Al, have fun with the grandbaby!!! They are a blesssing so I was told. I will be up there hopefully when I become a " nonna" Your wishes were lovely Thanks everyone again for your kind words, with all the love I have received here, I feel very blessed and glad to have so many Wonderful wishes sent our way. Ciao Ciao, Maggie P.S. Ox, I received your email, I will get back to you soon off the forum. i didn't forget you....See MoreWant to leave my home to children equally. Is this a good idea?
Comments (10)If one son lives in the home, and is only half owner - this could cause issues as described further below. Instead, (IMO), the home probably should be sold and the proceeds split between the two sons. If one son wants the home, he could be the buyer...but the sales price to be market price based on one certified appraisal that is 6 months or newer. However, if they brothers do not agree on the appraisal price, then a 2nd appraisal could be gotten and then the market price to be the average of the two appraisals. ISSUES that could arrise if both brothers own the home but one brother lives there #1) The brother that lives there (LIVE IN) should pay half market rent to brother that doesn't live there. If not, then could Non Live-in evict him for non-payment, etc even if he is only half owner? This could be a real problem. #2) Both brothers pay exactly half of tax and insurance bills. Live-in brother's half does not get reduced by the rent amount. What if one pays but not the other. Then the other is forced to "cover" for his brother. Then there is money owed which means conflict. #3) Who pays for repairs/maintenance/Upgrades? Ideally, this should be split. However, I could see the live-in brother adding all kinds of non-necessary things that are not standard maintance. Such as decorating, or washer/dryer that he uses, or a pool or barn or garage that is for his use. Or charging his brother for his own sweat equity for doing the painting himself and charging the brother half market price for a painter. #4) What is live-in doesn't clean or fix to non-live-in's standards. or live-in decides to raise pit-pulls or has 3 roommates. You then have major conflict. #5) what if live-in has been there 10 years but the other brother is ready to retire and wants the home sold for proceeds. But live-in wants to stay there. With this arrangement, the non-live-in could NEVER get his equity as it is a forever home for the LIVE IN. #6) what if Live-in has a child and the child grows up and live-in decides to let the now 20 year old live in the home for free (while live-in moves out but does not tell his brother). More conflict. Just sell the place and give them each half. And be careful about having one of them (but not the other) be an executor. this will also cause conflict even if they are cordial now....See MoreSecond Marriage and The Kids Money
Comments (64)Tracy - If you've never actually been abused, it's hard to see how it can happen to a strong, capable and emotionally healthy person. And when you see abused women rationalizing and excusing their abuser's behavior, blaming themselves, and walking on eggshells -- I admit -- there's a repulsiveness to this behavior. There's a part of us that wants to just slap them upside the head to clear their vision, and the temptation to blame them for allowing it to happen is strong. I mean - What self-respecting woman would put up with such garbage?! But abuse doesn't go from non-existent to full-blown. By the time the abuse is readily visible to any normal outsider, it has been building insidiously for years, and the victem's perspective has already been so skewed that she (or he) can no longer see things clearly. By the time the abuse is clear-cut, the self-respect of the person in question is already badly damaged, and they're questioning their perceptions. It starts as a little quirk, an indulgence or 'one time thing'. A request that's inappropriate but small (not worth arguing about), a comment that could be taken the wrong way (or did he mean it that way?), a slight, or a fleeting look of contempt. Things that in isolation, would and should be excused. But then they don't stay in isolation. Events get more slightly more frequent, less ambiguous, more insensitive -- but only slightly more offensive than the stuff we've already learned to tolerate. It's the proverbial frog in warm water situation; the water gets hotter and hotter, but still, the frog won't jump out. On the day of my first marriage, we left the reception and went back to Hubby's hotel. We had a few hours to pick up his luggage before heading to the airport to leave for our honeymoon. Only Hubby hadn't actually packed his suitcase, and he turned on the TV. My feelings were hurt, that Hubby's immediate post-wedding plans weren't of the 'rip her clothes off' variety, but what bride wants to spoil her wedding day by fighting with her brand new husband about when he should have packed his suitcase? Was this abusive? Insensitive, sure. But abusive? Not the term most of us would use. Yet with the clarity of hindsight, I can assure you that it absolutely was abusive. It was the start of a long campaign to diminish my value, my attractiveness, my worth and sense of self-worth. But who'd have left over an unpacked suitcase? Amaulden - I know you can't trust your own perceptions right now. You're wondering if it's really all that bad. After all, ALL of it isn't bad, and we've only heard one side of the story. But your friends, your parents, your children (if they're old enough) -- They may be able to see more clearly. If he doesn't treat you with respect, that's real and serious, and losing him would be the very best thing you could do. But do it on YOUR OWN TERMS --...See MoreMy husband hates my kids...should I leave him
Comments (32)Iam going though the same thing. He complains about everything my daughters do. My 2 daughters 20 and 30 and my 7 Grandbaby. He does not talk to them for days. Every night when we go to bed he starts to bitch about them from they eat all the food, they r lazy and wht doesn’t my oldest get child support I tell him that is her business not ours. Well a couple week ago he told them to start paying rent 300.00 a each. They only make 9.00 my 20 pays To own car payment insurance and credit cards, my 30 old pays her bills and the day care bill of 400 a month. I told him they can’t afford that he don’t care and if they don’t like it they move out. He get mad if I buy anything for them. He says u always get defensive I tell I don’t I just don’t know why u treat them like that. They don’t disrespect you. In the other hand they stay in there rooms to not bother you. If they come to talk to me he starts asking wht do they want. He like making fun of my granddaughter( calling a cry baby) and my 20 (making fun of her weight)I tell him to stop and plays it off like I am kidding. Well two weeks ago my daughter told me she can afford the 300 she said I can afford 150. I thought buy telling her to go speak to her step dad he would listen and respect that she came to him and. It to me. I was listening to her explain the situation well he said that’s not my problem and just kept repeating it. Well she started crying and she told him. Why do u treat us like dirt. W you hve never like us and I hate the way u treat mom. Yes she did get load then I stepped in. He lost it and told to pack her stuff and get out. Then told me it’s them or me in front of her. She apologized to me saying she does not what to ruin my marriage. Well my girls r moving out at the end of the month but that is still not good enough. Now he is saying I don’t want them to come over. I was really. Now my son came to visit and he is telling me he is not staying here. I told him he is staying this week to help her sister with daycare. He was who gave him permission I was what. It turn into a huge fight. He said they do what ever they want to do. Mind me he has not spoken one work to him cause he is still mad at my youngest for the fight they had. He told if u don’t tell him to leave buy Sunday Iam going to. I was wtf. Those r my kids and this is my house. He said again Iam tried we should separate i was like look if that’s why u want go ahead. I know u hate my kids. He stayed quite and goes into the room and sulks. Iam i wrong for defending my kids. They have never disrespected him. Iam so over this fight with him....See Moremkroopy
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