Geese behave much differently than chickens. First, you'll never be able to sneak up on her at night. They can see almost as well as during the day. Second, if by some chance you are able to get close to her, she'll still know that you're there. It will cause all sorts of commotion, scattering both "her" hatched babies and those that you've saved. You'll take the chance that they'll all get lost or chilled. Geese are extremely intelligent, and have social behaviors that are so much more advanced than that of any chicken flock. Probably one of two things happened with this clutch. Either she is an inexperienced mother, and her instincts were satisfied by hatching the first few, even though more were coming, or, two, there were other females who had access to her nest, and they layed after she began setting, so there are actually multiple eggs with varying hatch dates. I have had good luck both ways, introducing newly hatched goslings to a mother even several days after her true brood had hatched, or also introducing young started birds to the group when they were several weeks old. I've even had my flock take in newly hatched babies when there was no female setting. I would introduce them all to the entire flock first thing in the morning when you have a few hours to watch closely that everything is going OK. In most cases it will take only a minute or two before you know if they'll accept or reject them. I've never had well adjusted (non pet) males cause any problems with babies in my flock. The only time that there were issues was when I had too many males, and squabbles between the males who were in the group and those who were kept out have sometimes inadvertently caused problems with young chicks that got caught up in the fighting. Even that has usually worked itself out in a few minutes. All this happens in a pen of almost 3/4 an acre, and I'm sure that plenty of space is a factor in allowing everything to work itself out.

Maggie you obviously do not have any relationship with her and refuse because you honestly do not like this adult woman. Thats fine andyou are doing the right thing to keep far away from people such as her. You Dh continues his relationship without any hindrance from you and you do not interfere with the relationship. Agian...very good. BUt if she does go around sayng things behind your back and IF a family member approaches you and asks you this and that and you find out that she has lied and manipulated the situation then you confront this adult head on and do it in frotn of the entire family and set the record straight that you have never interfered etc..etc..and any issues she and her mother have are her own issues and to keep it to themselves because its not nice to lie to family members. You do not have contact with her and therefore anythign she does say in the near future is obviously fabricated. I do not know details of your situation..maybe both of you went rocky when she hit her teens but it does sound that she is spoiled and the bm has anger issues that were never let for for so many years. There are some bm out there that do not get over their failed marriage and use their kids as weapons because that is the only thing they hav at their disposal. BUT she is not a child. She is an adult and if you feel she has overstepped her boundaries and find out for a fact..a fact....not just feelings...that she is badmouthing you behind her back and then you confront her and the family and set the record straight. BUt you have ot know for a fact. You cannot go out on a whim and just assume. I know you dont like her or trust her and you sya she's manipulative but if you have nothing ot hide and have always stayed true on your road and are an honest nice person then i think family members will see through her lies and manipulations. Especially if they know you have no contact all these years. If family members ask about her you say you don't know. You are not in contact with her and that your DH would know since he meets her for dinners...thats all. Be honest. You don thave to voice out that you do not like her or trust her.

theotherside, it may be a guy thing, but they don't seem to want to keep 'the gifts'. My DH doesn't want anything that his ex gave him (especially the credit card debt she left) I don't think that qualifies as a 'gift' but she might disagree. His daughter is the best gift she ever gave him, he treasures her every day. It could be that the person that leaves the relationship, usually doesn't want to hang onto the love notes and presents. However, I wouldn't let him throw away the 'family' portrait they took when SD was a baby. That is being saved for SD when she gets a little older. Most of the pictures of her mom that were in his box, I put them in a collage frame for SD's room and the rest, I'll probably scrap book for SD. I think that is better than the shredder he wanted to put them in. (I don't think she ever gave him any romantic gifts, if she did, they were long gone before I ever met him)

Scarlett, thanks for "allowing me to say "screw it". That about sums up how my hubby and kids feel as well as me. At least a good part of me feels. I've tried my best to change the relationship for over 20 years and gotten no where. I continued to try because my mother was alive and continued to want me to. No matter what I did, it never changed. On the other hand, it would be nice for it to, but at this point I don't forsee it happening. My daughter asked me yesterday, if the situation changed, would you ever be able to believe in or trust the change or would you be looking for the "underlying reason and what they are up to". I told her I didn't know and she said she would never trust them after all these years. When I told her that I didn't like her attitude and her taking sides or being caught in the middle between the parents on both sides, her comment was "we have been, both of your kids, because you have been trying so hard for so many years and keep getting shot down and we see how it has affected you. You gave custom handmade graduation gifts to both of my cousins along with graduation cards and only got 1 thank you note from one of your nieces, and both of you kids didn't even get an acknowledgement on either their HS of college graduations. You sent them pics of us from graduations and you got nothing. When grandma died, they wiped out her apartment of almost everything before you and dad got there at the time you where told to meet them there. When we got there, there was nothing left for us to take and everything my brother and I gave our grandmother was gone. When we said something about the stuff, your brother and sister-in-law told us we where lying that their kids gave grandma everything and we gave them nothing. All my brother and I have is a coffee mug we each gave her one year that says "worlds best grandma". They took everything else. So how can you say we aren't caught in the middle. You didn't put us in the middle, they did." She's right about all she said, and I could add so many more things. The reasons for going to this wedding are really not the right reasons to go; because my mother would want me to, to spite them if that's the reason we where invited, ETC. One thing I've learned in the past few years of my health not being good is that life is to short and you never know when your health will be good or bad. Take the advantages of good health and enjoy them, deal with the bad when you have to, but don't torture yourself with what could have been and what you should have done and didn't do. You can't change that. I would love to add a family tie in to a wedding gift for my niece, but I don't have anything to give them. My mother left no will and they left me and my children with very little of anything of hers. As for recipes, well I sent them some after my mother died and was told not to send any more, they don't want them and through out what I sent them. I've spent quite a bit of time talking with my hubby, my kids and my best friend about what is the right thing to do and have pretty much decided, with all of them agreeing, that it's time to put this chapter of life to rest. My health, both physical and mental is far more important than any wedding to attend. I've been through several years of serious orthopedic and spinal health problems, several surgeries for them and am still trying to get back on me feet. Mentally, I'm just too drained from all that I've dealt with in the past couple of years to deal with the any more attempts to salvage something that no one who knows us and the situation believes is there to salvage. My family and friends have been through too much with me to see me suffer or be hurt or insulted again with this family situation. The words are "enough is enough, time to end the torture for yourself. Going to this wedding will be a physical strain on you that you shouldn't do, it may very well set back your recovery again, and you've had enough things happen to set you back that where beyond your control, but this one is." Being honest with myself, what they have said is true. My brother doesn't know anything about the health issues I've had or the spinal surgery, so I can't say anything negative about no contact with them over that. I never called him, nor did my hubby or kids. None of us saw any need to. The people that where important to us knew and where there to help me out with whatever help I needed for the past year and are still doing. I wouldn't expect my brother to have done anything. So, at this point in time, the invitation will be declined. I will send in the RSVP declined and the same day I mail that I will send a letter briefly explaining health issues that include spinal surgery and one set back after the other. I had hoped to be recovered enough to attend, but after seeing my spinal surgeon this past week, his advise is I am not medically or physically capable of attending the wedding or reception. I wish my niece the best and all the happiness in the world and when I am recovered enough, we would love to get together and catch up, see pics of the wedding etc. I will also send a note to my niece as well and will send a gift. It won't hurt to be the one to be courteous and polite. I was brought up that way, brought my children up that way as well. My daughter though, asked to have her name and her brothers included on the gift card when we send the gift and they will contribute to the gift. Again thanks for the advise. It is much appreciated.