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swilson_

I don't feel he puts enough effort in with my son

Swilson_
9 years ago

Okay, so here is the breakdown. I've been dealing with this in my head for a week or so and have no idea where to turn, I don't want biased opinions from friends or to say the wrong thing to my partner before I get my thoughts straight. My partner and I recently got engaged, he has been basically living with us for the last 6 months, but as of last month is when he gave notice for his own place and moved his stuff in. I have a 4, soon to be 5 year old son, and my fianc� has a 3 year old son. We all get along really well, we do family things together and the kids are best friends. I have joint custody of my son, so he is here half of the time, and my fianc�'s son is here every second weekend and one night the the opposite week. I'm not sure if its the mother in me, but I put in a huge effort with my soon to be step son .. I love him very much, he loves me and I treat him the same as I would treat my son. I don't intend to take his mothers role, but when he's at my house the kids are treated the same. I play with him, cook for him, kiss his booboo's, I show him affection and treat him as I would any child really.. But I feel as if my partner doesn't put in the effort that he should with my son. My son will ask him to help with a video game, or try and get his attention and I feel more often than not he brushes him off. I know it's not that he dislikes my son, I just don't feel he tries enough. But when it comes to discipline he's quick to step up there, to tell him when he's out of line or to chat with him when he's disrespecting me. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate that; my son respects him and loves his company. I'm just not sure If I am expecting more than I should, if I should approach him about it at all, or what I'm supposed to do here.. I don't want to just wait it out and hope it gets better to be disappointed I feel its unfair to my son. He is a really nurturing dad, and loves his son very much, but seems a little off put with my son. We're going to be a family. This is making me a little crazy, my son is my number one priority, I don't want to marry a man that's only in it for me. HELP.

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