Linda, I certainly hate to hear about your accident. I hope you feel better soon, I'd suggest you check with your PCP Monday, though. Here is what I learned from my accident (almost a year ago to the day) and hope it helps: If there is a chance in he$$ the lady has anything, try to recreate the accident on paper now with great detail and see if there are any witnesses and talk to them and get their statement now and get all of their contact info. (I was unable to do this for about a month, which was way too long.) I had PIP on my car insurance policy. This has paid for some of my lost wages...I think it was 80 or 60% per month, not alot with a limit of $2,500, but certainly enough to make a dent. It would also pay to have someone help me with my day-to-day chores, which I didn't use, as I had enough work loss to cover the $2,500. I also had med pay on my car, not supposed to have both said insurance agent, but I did and they are picking up some of the med bills my insurance company didn't pay. The limit was $25,000.00 and this has helped. The truck driver and his company had insurance, but it is now a he said/she said. I was furious the first couple of months after the accident at the truck driver and his company, but once I let go of that I got better. I hired a law firm on contingency, but doubtful I'll ever recover anything, but you never know, so you might talk with an attorney on a contingency basis only. Take care and let us know how you are doing. Brenda

Well, after another visit to the ER -- the same ER I went to two week ago -- my GYN offered two solutions for the pain and neverending period. The Pill or Uterine Oblation. I took the pills. I feel very depressed about this and slightly scared. Scared of what? Risk of strokes, etc. Although I do not want any kind of surgery. Has anyone out there tried this for the painful end of their periods before menopause. I thought I would go out of my mind with the pain/nausea/vomiting! My doctor saw from the ultrasound that everything appears normal; the hormonal waxing and waning is causing my cramps/pain/nausea/vomiting. None of my friends my age or older have had this problem. Most tell me they just quit having periods and that was that! So yes, I am looking for some sympathy!!! This experience has been so disruptive of my life... I think I am willing to try "the Pill."

Hello Fay-Lisa, You've been through so much, you should get a medal for staying as strong as you have and being able to maintain your job and relationship. You are absolutely NOT insane or anything close to it. Many people have that moment in life (or several) in which they feel like they have *had* it. They may not use markers to vent their frustration/anger/anxiety/depression but they do all kinds of other things -- eat too much, drink too much, have affairs, spend too much, leave their families, withdraw completely and so on. First things first, you are doing the right thing by getting all the physical tests out of the way. My first thought after reading everything you've been through is that you might need to see an endocrinologist to have your thyroid and hormone levels thoroughly checked (forgive me if you said you have already done then). If all the tests turn out to be in the normal range, then it's time to consider other possibilities. You may have some kind of chemical imbalance which might be helped with the right kind of medication. This process is most definitely trial and error, and I certainly understand your frustration with the various medications and their respective side effects. I don't like taking them either, but they do have their place as part of an overall approach to tackling and managing symptoms. One suggestion I have is for you to find a *good* therapist -- someone who is very experienced and has training in working with people who may have emotional damage from childhood. You mentioned in your post some unkind things your mother said to you when you were young. I imagine there's a lot more where that came from. Was there alcoholism in your family of origin? Are there others in the family or extended family who have struggled with mental health issues? One psychiatrist I consulted with asked me what kinds of mental health issues there were in my family (I, too, was struggling with terrible depression and panic attacks/anxiety). When I told him there were family members with bi-polar, extreme anxiety, schizophrenia, alcoholism and chronic depression, he said, "well, what did you expect?" The truth is most families have members who cope with these illnesses. A psychologist said that each of us has a collection of genes that contribute to our personalities and temperaments. We just have to work on doing the best with what we've got. You sound like a very self aware, strong person. Please please please do not be so hard on yourself. I am an easy going, peaceful person usually-- but when I have gone through difficult times in my life the anxiety and depression caused me to behave in ways I'm not proud of -- angry, irritated, crying, throwing things, hiding, having major panic attacks where I felt outside of my own body. That's called disassociation and it can happen when anxiety and depression go on for too long without proper treatment. In addition to all this, there is the real possibility that you are now in perimenopause and many of your current symptoms may have been caused or made worse by it. I think I've had every symptom in the "34 symptoms of menopause" list." I've always dealt with anxiety and depression, but this was so deep and dark -- I'm thankful to God that I finally found a competent therapist, the right medication and inner strength to choose to believe in myself and stop condemning myself. This is a choice you can make too and I hope you will. It sounds like you're a caring, compassion, intelligent and very sensitive person. Those are gifts worth celebrating!! It's so easy to slip into that groove of basing your self worth on your job. I'm a decade older than you, and I'm here to tell you, the quality, richness and success of your life is not about what you do to earn money to support yourself. It's about your relationships and your experiences. What do you do to relax and have fun? Fulfilling life experiences don't have to cost a lot of money. You don't have to have a lot of friends, but you do need a support system you can turn to for a listening ear and encouragement. There are many ways you can cultivate loyal, kind and supportive friends. You deserve to have people in your life in addition to your wonderful boyfriend who care about you and will treat you like the amazing person you are. Life goes by so quickly. Take each day as it comes and don't worry so much about the future. As the saying goes, we only live 24 hours at a time. And if I'm having a really bad spell, I take it about an hour at a time : ) Be good to yourself. You might find yoga relaxing or some other kind of exercise class. You might also find a support group beneficial -- it's always comforting to know you're in good company when it comes to dealing with life's difficulties. Think about what makes you the happiest and resolve to pursue these things. Don't ever let anyone make you feel "less than" about anything -- whether it's your job, appearance, hobbies, friends -- all these belong to *you* and if someone doesn't have something supportive or helpful to say to you, tune it out!!! It took me years to learn how to do this, but I am happy to say, it can be done!! Keep posting and let us know how you're doing. I am interested in finding out what the test results will show. But no matter what, cherish yourself and look for the positive things that happen each day -- even the smallest good things matter. God bless you and good luck with your appointments next week!!

The Doc has called twice today, she was outside once and went to order Hunter's birthday cake for this week-end so missed both calls! She is so mad, all the message said was this Dr So and So and I am calling about your hand and will get back to you. Sheesh. Oh well nothing can be done til tomorrow now, they knew she didn't need emergency surgery or they said they wouldn't have let her leave the ER.