Expected to act like a stepmom
justme312
10 years ago
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Comments (21)
emma
10 years agoRelated Discussions
So tired of perennials acting like annuals!!!
Comments (27)Hello cargobean, Looks like you have gotten a lot of responses. It must be that this is a topic that struck a chord for many people. Probably because we have all lost plants at one time or another. I have lost a lot of plants for one reason or another over the years. Just two years ago I lost the new Echinacea Harvest Moon, which I can't attribute it to any reason in my garden, but have heard too many reports about problems with the new echinaceas to blame it on anything else. Sounds like you have already arrived at some conclusions about what you want to do next. Already planning a compost bin, already trying to choose no fuss plants....going to try the evergreen boughs. I hope you will forgive me if I embroider the edges of what has already been said, if not for your sake, for the sake of others looking for similar information. On the subject of fertilizer... I use fertilizer in my containers only. I try to improve my soil instead. I was fortunate to learn gardening from someone who had already had enough experience and knowledge about growing plants that he had already worked out for himself to grow organically and to 'feed the soil' not the plants. I seem to remember his family had already been doing that before him too. He also had a masters in Physics. He had a great garden, so I just followed his lead. Since then everything I have read, or experienced has only validated that. The subject of Soil/Compost is not the most exciting topic and I have a tendency to gravitate to the Perennial and Shrub forums etc., but I do spend time over on the Soil forum too. A lot of very knowledgeable people over there at times. Like you, I also take the approach of using plants that can fend for themselves for the most part. It depends on how much I like a plant, how much trouble I will go to for it. For instance, I love delphiniums and they are not usually considered the easiest, 'fend for themselves' plant. You have to stake them for starters, which I try to limit. But if I can get them to grow well, everyone here really enjoys them, so that is the one plant I have chosen to make an exception to my usual approach. :-) I haven't fertilized those either though and they performed well last year. Keeping my fingers crossed for this year. I just wanted to say again, if it hasn't been clear from all the responses. Over the years, I have heard more reports of gaura not surviving the winter than it making it. I have the impression that it is notorious for not coming back in my neck of the woods. The Northeast is well known for having a clay soil on the acidic side for the most part. I did a google search of just your Petite Pink Gaura, as you asked if it could be mislabeled. Most references give it a zone 5 hardiness, but I did find two references that refer to it as a zone 6 hardy perennial. One of them being White Flower Farm. So, it would seem that not everyone is in agreement that it is zone 6. Here are the links... http://www.gardencrossings.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/plants.plantDetail/plant_id/1110/index.htm http://www.whiteflowerfarm.com/29475-product.html Since the last time I posted, I was looking for some information on a variety of Shasta that I have and I did run across an article reporting that they too do not like the moisture over the winter. Where I have mine planted, is a mounded bed that slopes slightly, so the drainage may be ok there for them. You asked how you tell if something has made it. I have never put much store on scraping the stems to see if they are green. I only depend on new growth. I wait it out to see if there is new growth. How long do I wait? Well, that really depends. Lots of times it won't bother me to wait until mid to late June. If it is in a prominent place and I am afraid I am not going to get something else in that position to bloom in time to enjoy it, I might not wait that long and replace it. Of course, if the plant is really important to you, that changes things. You could always dig it out and pot it up and watch it longer if there is some doubt about whether it might come back and then plant the open space in the bed without waiting. Plants have surprised me so many times, after I was sure that they were dead, that I really like to give them a chance if I really like them and don't want to replace them. You mention that you want to fix what you might be doing wrong. Really it is not about doing what is wrong so much as that with gardening there seems to be always something more to learn...lol. I am still learning after 25 years of gardening. I discovered winter sowing on the Winter Sowing forum on GW just three years ago, after someone on another forum highly recommended it to me. Wow, that was an exciting learning experience! I had so much fun and I just wished I had known about it sooner. If you have a lot of reliable plants like those you listed but still find you want to try new plants every year, winter sowing is the way to go. It is not only fun, it is really easy, very inexpensive and you end up with a ton of plants every year. Best way to try new things without it costing you a bundle. PLus a lot of annuals can be done this way and save you even more money. I found that when I did this, it really doesn't bother me to lose something as much because I have so much and I can replace things so easily. I am not able to do as much as I like, but if you don't have any obstacles in the way of spending the time/energy doing it, then you would probably get even more out of it than I have. Hope you are enjoying this beautiful spring weather and that some of your plants surprise you with some new growth. :-) pm2...See Moretoilet acts like it is clogged but is not???
Comments (16)I think you may have missed the real problem: the jet/hole shooting water toward the back of the toilet to get the siphon started sooner. I cleaned mine out and fixed it nicely. Here's how 0. clean your toilet if you need to, this involves putting your hand in the bowl 1. turn off the water supply to the tank 2. flush, holding down so the tank and water level in bowl get as low as possible 3. if you want, use rubber gloves, take a screwdriver (medium shaft length, as short a handle as possible) and poke it into the little hole (towards the front of the toilet), scraping off as much of the scale as you can. Voila. While you're at it, you may want to see if any scale has built up on the underside of the rim as well, and of course you can use your screwdriver or a pumice cleaner to get any scale off the bottom of the bowl into the siphon itself. 4. clean up & done...See MoreNew to being a stepmom, advice needed
Comments (10)"When I made a list of our relationship pros and cons, his parenting was the biggest (and almost the only) issue. Has anyone else had similar experiences?" *Raises hand* I dated a guy for two years that had an 8 year old son. Because he only had him ever other weekend and on Wednesday evenings, he spoiled his son and let him get away with a lot because he "didn't want to spoil the time he had with him". I tried working with my BF about his son, but he got defensive whenever I said something to him about his son's behavior. You are right - it's not your job to fix your boyfriend's children. You did not make them that way or allow them to become that way. Granted, the daughter may be on the autism spectrum, may need counseling, or just some firm parenting, but it is NOT YOUR JOB to fix. The one thing I learned from my experience is I will not wait so long to meet a man's children. I waited a whole year before getting to know my BF's son, and by that time I was already in love with the father, so it was hard to break it off once I started seeing the issues with my BF's parenting. I tried working on the issue with my BF for another year, but eventually I realized that unless he was willing to step up and parent his son, there was nothing I could do. Plus, you have to realize, with step kids your hands are tied behind your back You can't properly discipline them the way you would your own. Unless the dad is willing to step up and properly parent his children, you are only signing yourself up for a life of misery. Sure, his poor parenting may be the ONLY thing wrong with him, but that ONE thing will grow into a monster. There are many things in a relationship that the two of you have to argee on, and one of them is parenting. Of course your BF is upset you want to back off, you are the one doing all the heavy lifting in the relationship. I think I know why he's better with you and your kids. It sounds like you have raised your kids to be respectful, polite and well behaved. It's EASIER to deal with kids that have been raised right. It's a lot harder to RETRAIN kids that have been allowed to misbehave their whole life. And you probably don't get defensive if he tells you something about your kids, or go into denial about their behavior, which is what your BF is doing. And the fact that he wants more time with his kids would make me run for the hills. My BF did the same thing, we were talking about moving in together, and I thought I could handle it since his son would only be there every other weekend and on Wednesdays, but then the BM let the son stay with my BF full time. I knew I could not handle living with his son full time and I told my BF I could not move in with him. He got upset as well, and that was only another indicator to me that the relationship was in trouble (although at the time I didn't break up with him). I remember I once asked the ladies on here if they knew what they did now about step families and all the problems they would go through, would they do it again, and many of them said NO. That was what convinced me that I needed to break up with my BF. It's been three months since I've broken up with him and I don't regret my decision. Sure, sometimes I'm lonely, but a visit back to this site reminds me of why I broke it off and how happy I am now that I don't have to deal with all that mess!...See MoreI don't think my stepmom likes me...
Comments (49)I am trying. I will prob. take a break from it today. I have posted enough today. My first step mom had an affair on Dad. She ran up 75,000 in credit card debt. She ended up marring the guy she was messing around with. Dad put a private eye on her and they had photos of her in a hot tub. When his lawyer pulled those puppies out, her jaw dropped. Her lawyer was like..um..er..we need to talk in private. And she still got 15,000 bucks. I called it the 15,000 bj. Poor Dad. I don't want to see him get burned again. She was 18 years younger then Dad. Dad was like..I made a mistake, a man and women should not be more then 15 years apart. Then he marries a girl that is like 22 or 23 years younger then him. I was confused!! So I have had two step moms that I have had a tuff time relating too. Things could be worse. I know that. Remember when I told you that she asked me to leave Dad's house on xmas day. She could not put up the xmas tree. It's now April. I was like..why can't she put up the tree. Dad has allways kept a clean house. She told me that she could not walk into the sun room and look at the tree because it reminded me of her. My sis says that is a copout. She has probs, and I am the cause of them? She told her shrink that. I don't buy it. She may have probs, but I am not the cause. But I guess she has to put blame somewhere. Heck, she was the one that asked me to leave the house. She said.." i will kick your ass if I find out that you are telling either family or friends about me." Why, does she have something to hide? Is she paranoid? She is on meds and seeing a shrink. She says that is all because of me. I'm just trying to make sense of it all....See Morejustme312
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