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maryjheywood

Marriage problem caused by Step Daughter

maryjheywood
10 years ago

Hi Everyone

I wondered if someone could help. :(

I married my husband 3 years ago. His first wife died of cancer. He has two children. One boy who has a stable marriage and a daughter who has married a no hoper. There have been massive problems with his daughter's marriage. She has a child from a previous relationship who is now 15 years old (a boy), she has a second son by her present husband and is now pregnant again before the first son is even one year old.

Her husband does not have a job and they have bled my husband dry to the tune of �40,000 so even though he has paid his mortgage off, he may as well have another, and they are still taking money off him.

His daughter has come home several times when she has fallen out with her husband. She stays a few days and leaves. This time, she came back with the intention of staying here as her husband - according to her 15 year old son who doesnt like him - has been chatting someone else up on facebook.

They are very immature and in debt up to their necks. They have been running around in a car with no tax or insurance for months and have never been caught!!! The car would be crushed if it had been.

It was clear that I was supposed to be the skivvy in the house. My husband would go to work and so would my step daughter, whilst her 15 year old son sat in a corner on my husbands laptop, looking at youtube and playing FIFA all day, waiting to be fed and watered.

They made the house a tip, never tided up after up after themselves and left washing for me to do. I have really tried in this situation but also my husband treats me differently when she is here. He seems to like it in some odd way and I wonder if its because she reminds him of his dead wife.

Last night he spoke to sharply to me and was all moon light and roses with her. I went upstairs and he came up and that's when I hit the roof. I told him that I was withdrawing any and all help and would not be looking after any babies and children, that his daughter was obviously intent on staying here this time and I would be moving out. I told him I was sick of how he spoke to me when she was here. I let him have it both barrels.

She moved out last night after he told her that I did not want her here anymore. I didn't - but that isn't how the argument started. So, having put up with situation several times over the last three years, I now the she-doodle from hell because I have put my foot down.

My husband,in his infinte wisdom, isn't speaking to me now. I really don't know what to do now. My only option seems to be to get out of this situation and let them come back together as a family unit. I love my husband very very much, but I can't stand this situation. Any advice please?

Many thanks
Mary xx

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