A bunch of things going on here. I can understand your frustation -- but the child did live at Dads parents for 3 years, I can understand they want to see their grandson. If dad wants to protest legally, he can. If not, you have to accept it.

The child should be evaluated for academic issues. This is a lot of extra work -- if he needs it, it should be focusing on what experts recommend. IMHO.

I don't see anything wrong with child playing with his cousins. He'll grow up at his own speed. While dad can continue to send SS to your parents on his time, as SS gets older he will likely be more vocal as to what he wants to do.

Please do not tease 11 YO. That is not nice - you are the adult. Even if you think you are teasing, you are the one in power. He is entitled to communicate with his mother. If you are the one insisting that phone is to be on vibrate, then IMHO, you should be reminding him to check.

Thanks for responding. Some good advice.

He was evaluated and his teacher told me what he should be working on for extra help over the summer. His mom and Grandma think that summer time should just be all about playing.

As for his cousins- you dont think that there is something wrong with an 11 year old entering middle school wanting to play with a 5 year old entering first grade? I'm afraid for him not connect socially with kids his own age.

As for the teasing- I shouldn't have called it teasing cuz its not mean in anyway and he knows that. I asked him once how often he wants to call and talk to his mom and he said once or twice a week. It is her that needs to talk or text him all the time. If it is something important or she needs to talk to him asap she can call the house phone. He shouldn't have to constantly carry the phone with him wherever he goes.

If his teacher has recommended the program, then dad should communciate that to his mom and x. And X should feel free to contact teacher.

As to playing with 11 YO, you can not make a child grow up. If he is immature, let him build up confidence with hi cousins. I think what you and dad can do to help him is get him involved in sports -- I think that is a way for boys that age to connect with others.

good luck.

maybe SS could benefit from summer camps, summer school, summer sports (agree with kkny as about sports for boys)instead of grandparents.

I can see how spending summer with 5-year-olds might sound not too great but i can see how he can get bored at your parents. of course they do stuff with him and take him places but still he is 11, he needs more age appropriate activities.

as about phone, my DD didn't have phone at 11, but since this boy already has it why not letting him keep it on?

although i understand that you and your BF want him to go to your parents, BF's parents are actually his grandparents (especially since he used to live with them)

Hi there Redlady,

it sounds like you're doing a great job with your SS. Congratulations to you. Any child benefits from having the attention of loving adults so spending time with you and your parents is a good opportunity for him. In order to help him look forward to visits with your parents, you and your SS together can plan some ideas for the time that he's with your parents (perhaps an outing, or a playdate with a school friend). You may even want to make a visit to the video store or a book store so he can pick up a couple of things that he likes and will look forward to.

As for the cell phone, I think that your solution is a good one. It's important to teach children to avoid constant interruption from a ringing cellphone. My stepkids don't bring their cellphones to our house and, when they do by accident, we put them away during their time with us. However, we do encourage them to make an evening call to their mother a couple of times a week to keep in touch.