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almoststepmom

How soon do you bring a girlfriend over to introduce to child??

almoststepmom
14 years ago

I was talking to a friend of mine that has recently began dating a man that she has known for years. He has been separated since January and the divorce has become final recently. My friend has known the couple since before they married and had a child (now age 11) and the child knows this woman as a family friend. Nothing ever happened during the marriage but when the separation happened she offered a shoulder to this man as she knew him before his wife and they realized they had mutual feelings for each other. He dated around quite a bit for the first few months but over the last two months has began to see my friend more and has eliminated the other women. The man and his ex made an agreement not to have anyone they dated around the child until after the divorce was final and he abided that even with female friends so my friend has not been around when the child visits. They are not rushing things but have talked about making more of a commitment to each other on down the road a little. They realize that this is way too early at this point but she is not sure how long they should wait and is trying to prepare for it. So my friend asked me how long they wait before they bring her into the mix and at what capacity? She is no stranger to the child but she doesn't think that instantly appearing as dad's girlfriend so soon will have a positive impact either. They thought if they brought her in as dad's friend and kept it on that level while the child gets used to the idea that it might be better for awhile but when is what they are struggling with. I honestly have no idea and feel that many times I have brought a date into my son's life way too early so I thought I would ask other opinions and I figured this was the perfect place.

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