Lovehadley-
Legally as it stands BM and J still have JOINT custody. BM just choe to dumo the girls off on us fulltime and has been absent doing the party/getting arrested thing.

That is why we have to go to court. We have to get the custody changed to J being FULL CUSTODY because obviously it is just safer and more stable here with us. We have them anyway, it just isn't legal.

Well, possession is 9/10 of the law, anyway. I know that sounds terrible to say when talking about children---but in the court's eyes, it is true.

ASIDE from all the drug/criminal issues, they are going to look at stability. Where are the children now? Where have they been residing for any length of time? ETC. The courts are always reluctant to uproot a child or change the status quo without good reason.

When DH and BM finally went to court for the paternity case, BM briefly tried to go for primary custody w/DH having EOW visitation. The GAL blew it off right from the start and said since they had excercised 50-50 for the past 5 years, he wasn't about to change that. And likewise for you guys---the girls are with you and I just don't see a judge overturning that ever, unless BM has a total turnaround. And even so--the most she would EVER get, provided she is clean, sober and healthy, is 50-50.

"Well, possession is 9/10 of the law, anyway."

Love- This is why t lawyer told us we could legally refuse to release the kids to her. She more or less abandoned them.

Once we get caught up financially now that J is playing the first thing on the agenda is taking her ass to the cleaners.

The lawyer said we have a what they call a "slam dunk" case and supervised visits will be a given considering she falls under so many of the red flag indicators.

BM just THINKS she is going to party when she gets out of prison. She WILL be paying support so she'll have to work and if she wants to see her kids she WILL be getting random drug tests. I almost wonder if she won't end up sighning over her rights.

Yep.

sometimes I kind of roll my eyes at parenting plans/custody orders because from what I know the police really, really don't like to get involved in enforcing them.

For example--that night that BM was wasted and tried to take off, and punched me, etc, her mom got on the phone w/the police officers. (I guess BM called her mom on her phone---I don't really know b/c I was inside the house and BM was out in the driveway.)

Anyway, the officer told me that BM was insisting that since it was HER custodial night (which it technically was), she had the RIGHT to have her mom come pick SS up and take him home.

He asked me what I thought of that--I said no way, it's a school night, it's bedtime, and he is staying here. And the officer 100% agreed with me.

They were more interested in SS being safe and secure than in whose night it was.

"They were more interested in SS being safe and secure than in whose night it was."

BINGO! The cops couldn't give two sh*ts about what the order says. They won't get in the middle of it. They will just make sure the child is safe and secure.

You have to actually go to court to complain about custody disputes. BM has even less money than us so that isn't going to happen. Basically, unless you have money lying around or have family members with money in your court, custody orders don't mean nothing. If you can't afford the stupid lawyer you can't dispute anything.

Once BM is out she will have to follow the custody orders because it falls under a child wellfar case. I fully intend to inform Department of CHildren and Families of this set up as well. They need to be aware so if any shannanigans start it can get squelched ASAP. I'm pretty sure they get notified anyway when supervised visits are going on.