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caphillsm

Very Hard Summer

caphillsm
13 years ago

So, 18 year old SS is with us for the summer before beginning college. DH is finally realizing that SS doesnt REALLY want to go to college (wont call the school to inquire about anything, refuses to email new roomates, doesnt show ANY interest) DH confided in me only 3 days ago that "he has real concerns" about SSs lack of motivation.

I have seen this for 2 years, and he's just seeing it now? I am guessing its normal for the Biological parents to "get it" late sometimes? A denial thing?

So, SS is in our house until he reports to school on August 26th. At that point, he either actually gets interested and goes, or moves back home with BM and works. Its going to be up to him, we have provided all the coaching and support we can. DH seems "shocked" at what he is now finally waking up to. Dont worry, I am just quietly being supportive (no "I told you so"). DH has had some REALLY tough and difficult conversations with his son in the past week.

I had one guest visit all summer, my uncle and his wife were supposed to visit us next week. It would mean SS would have to vacate guest space and sleep in his dad's office on an air mattress for 3 nights. He doesnt care abotu this type of thing. I had thought they were coming for 2 nights. Last night I told DH that it is for 3 nights, and he literally blew a gasket. He said its too much time. He hasnt met these relatives.

I spoke with my parents privately today, and we all think that DH is REALLY unhappy with SS right now, and guests in the home for 3 days, right before SS is supposed to go to college, is overwhelming him. There is currently too much family tension and its just not a good time.

I let my uncle know this and he is totally cool with it. But I am mad. I am putting up with SS in my space ALL summer, and had to cancel my uncle's visit.

Should I just accept that this is a tough time for DH and SS and ride the wave? In a step-parenting situation, is this normal?

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