Here is what I was thinking about for turning Bath 3 into a hall bath that could be easily shared by unrelated by different gender and/or non-related kids. If you didn't put a lock on the outer door, but have locks on the toilet room and tub room doors, two people could use the space at the same time with reasonable privacy and no one could lock the other out of space that wasn't actually being used. Obviously, there is no privacy at the sink when brushing teeth, washing hands, fixing hair, or putting on make-up. Most of us are reasonably okay with that and Besides, those of us who grew up in the days when entire families shared a single bath learned to take our hair and make-up primping to our bedrooms to free up the bathroom anyway. But, if you absolutely hate pocket doors then this won't work very well because you'd have too many doors opening into too small a space. But it is an idea. I personally think it would look okay to have the door to bedroom 3 moved forward... but then I'm not that hung up on symmetry. Another option would be to move the door to bedroom 3 all the way to the front of the house so that it is straight across from the top of the stairs. That would give you a different kind of symmetry. But it would also mean whoever had bedroom 3 would have a rather long walk to reach his/her bathroom. Alternatively, you just could do a more traditional hall bath like this and just leave the door to bedroom 3 right where it is. Since you have room in the attic area to build a closet for the study if/when you want to turn it into a bedroom, this would work fine. As for getting furniture into bedroom 4, with 3'6" hallways, you're probably okay as long as you're not planning on putting anything really massive in there. Dressers can be tipped up on one end to get them thru the hallways. Mattresses can be bent a little bit to get them around tight corners. The biggest problem would probably be the box springs if you were trying to get a queen or king size bed into the room. As long as it's a child's room and you plan to stick with a twin or full-size bed, I wouldn't worry about it. It's great that you have a kitchen designer helping you plan the kitchen but you might also want to post your plan on the kitchen forum here on GW. Those folks are AMAZING when it comes to designing kitchens. It's also great that you have a second garage for the bicycles and stuff like that! I'd still want my laundry room and mud room to be larger tho. I agree with your reasoning about having the downstairs "bonus room." In fact, if you can find a way to do it while redesigning the kitchen space, I'd recommend a "pass thru" opening from the kitchen to the family room so that you can see the kids while working in the kitchen. But, tho I agree with you about having a downstairs bonus room, I'm not sure I agree that it needs to be quite so big. Are you planning to put a pool table or ping-pong table in there or are we just talking board games, TV, and room for little ones to scatter their toys and run around a bit? If you're thinking family night with board games, it is unlikely that half your family will be watching TV while the other half plays board games in the same room. The noise from the two activities isn't exactly compatible so it's likely that the TV watchers would drift off to the living room to watch their shows in peace or the board game players would move out to the nook or dining room. So, I'd still probably steal about a 5 ft wide strip out of the bottom of the family room to expand the laundry room and mud room.

If there is a court order saying that he is entitled to visitation, then I would think you would be in contempt for not allowing visitation-no matter the reason. Parent alienation is a big deal in court from what I have seen. If you think he won't take you to court, then I guess it may be worth the risk. My step son has to be around a verbally abusive man who will likely one day lose his cool as he has in the past. I can only hope that my step son is not there when it happens and his mom gets the brunt of it rather than a child. She is completely inside a cycle of domestic violence, but hasn't been hurt enough-physically, yet. She will completely defend her husband's behavior. We have given my step son a safety plan and places to go if things get out of hand. I would love to say keep the kid away, but it's what is in the court order that counts ultimately. I would not allow the mom to be around for supervised visits. Maybe there are other family members who could be around if this is seen as a good compromise. It sounds like he may want to start the honeymoon phase of the domestic violence cycle again.

I had to do the same thing...but your pool sounds more complicated and not as far along as mine. Didn't have an in floor cleaner...but typically the plaster'er cuts the pipes and installs standard fittings. It would be your job to get the eyeballs and the popups for the in ground cleaning system and install them into the pool as its filling up and the plaster guy has left. You can actually wait to install these but then you would need a wet suit probably. Some cities require pre-inspection of the electrical as a separate inspection others making the electric a part of the final. You will need to check that out beforehand. You might also want to double check the plumbing is ok and was pressure checked and passed inspection....this is really hard to fix afterwards. All of the inspections and all the work including electric must be done before plastering and should all be done together. Plastering is the last step. I would run enough electrical for the spa heater as well since you plan on during that in the future and make sure the electrical inspection will pass and the inspector knows it must handle the load of the heater as well. I would scrape up the money to go with an aggregate finish myself over plaster thats what we did. Why? Because if the gunite was done poorly, it will hide defects better. Ours had a lot of cracks and was gunited thin in a few places on the floor as well as a part of the screwups the PB made when they redesigned the shape of our pool. Take a look at Stonescape is cheaper than PebbleTec and just as good in my opinion. If you have never had a pool before, you need to hire someone for startup and/or be fully knowledgeable about what to do with your pool when water is in it. Its not a good thing for a brand new pool to set for 2 weeks while you learn how to take care of a pool.

"has to balance what's best for him and best for you. And sometimes they just aren't going to work. IMO, childs needs come first." See, this is interesting. I think what is so interesting and diverse about this forum (or even when talking to friends in RL) is that EVERYONE is going to have their own opinion; and that opinion is one we have formed based on our own experiences and perspectives. Nivea, you were treated in a really cruel and hurtful manner by your SM, correct? (or am I mixing you up with another poster?) I believe it was you. Anyway, naturally, you are more inclined to empathize and identify with the child (stepchild) and perhaps even project a bit of your own feelings; and that's normal, we ALL do that. Just as I am more likely to identify with someone like Ima or Lamom or Silver, someone who is a SM dealing with difficult situations. Anyway, I know what you mean about the child needing to come first; but I think you are saying this out of your own experiences, which included being emotionally hurt by your cruel and emotionally immature SM who insisted HER needs come first. Correct? That is awful that happened and it's sad that your father allowed you to be pushed aside. (And please correct me if I am mixing up your history with someone else.) Our situation is a little different in that DH had continually made the mistake of doing things to harm our marriage---all under the guise of "it's best for SS." But a lot of what he was doing wasn't even really best for SS. DH wanted me to smooth things over and be nice to BM, even after she attacked me in front of SS. Sure, it might be superficially easier for SS if everything seemed hunky-dory again. But in the long run, what lesson is that teaching him? That violence is acceptable? That it's okay for his mom to behave like that and I will just pretend that everything is okay? Those aren't lessons I want SS or DD learning. So sometimes what IS best for SS isn't necessarily what one might think at face value. Sure, it would be more *pleasant* for him in the short term, but in the long run, I think it does more harm than good. (I don't think this particular weekend issue is even really about anything being "best" for SS, though.) And one thing our marriage counselor has been helping both of us see is that sometimes what's best for the marriage has to come first. And I will say this with 100% conviction: it would NOT be in SS's best interest for DH and I to divorce. Not at all. That would be one of the worst things that could happen for both him and my DD. I may be "just a stepmother" to him but I have been a positive and caring person in his life for almost 7 years. He views my daughter as his sister. He genuinely loves our family and feels a TOTAL part of our family unit...because he is! We are not just some people he spends a few days a month with, he has two families and we are one of them! If that unit were to dissolve, it would honestly devastate SS. It would devastate my DD, as well, but I really think it would be worse on SS. He is very sensitive to these things, and he is the type of child that turns his upsets inward. I know if he were to lose his family, it would really impact him negatively in an emotional sense. So in marriage counseling, one thing DH is having to focus on is sorting out when SS's needs really DO come first, and when it's just BM manipulating "in the name of their son." Obviously, there are times that the child's needs have to come first---heck, that is 95% of parenting! But it is my belief that this is not one of those times. SS's mom is doing well and there is no reason he can't be with her.