I'd tell her she better go and snoop herself. Why would she send you instead of doing it herself anyway? And, why would he leave a prescription for Viagra laying around/wouldn't it be at the drug store or in his wallet? What could you tell from the "phone records" without doing a little more research? Don't they have a trash service at his office...or does it just not get taken out if he is out of town? Why wasn't your friend waiting with baited breath to see what you found if she knew you were going to be snooping? Guess I have more questions than answers to give you. Anyway, offer to watch her kids, and tell her she better go take a look herself.

I am in the same situation. It’s New Years Day and I am lying here depressed. My adult son came to temporarily live with me and my new husband of 2 years about 7 months ago. He asked and my husband said yes. My husband decided not to charge him rent or anything, even told him he can eat what we eat, wash clothes, basically our home is his home. We have a written agreement which we all signed. My son takes out the garbage and cuts grass, clean his room & bathroom. He’s making plans to move back out as agreed. He has savings. Is my son perfect? No, but he is not disrespectful. Other than not walking around the house naked, nothing else has changed in our marital relationship. My husband took it upon himself to step in as a father to my son and even asked my son if that was ok. His biological father…didnt do his job and has no real relationship with him. My husband and son get along fine. However i know my husband is faking it. If my son makes one mistake or forget something, my husband is very critical and judgemental. He complains to me telling lies about my son and says hateful things about my son. i love my husband but this is unacceptable to me. i am beyond hurt and angry. My son doesnt even know how my husband really feels. What brought to this post…my husband thought my son had left and left the door unlocked at 2am. My son was actually outside. Anyway all i literally said was to tell him and immediately he accused me of coming to my son’s defense and starts going off. I am confused. If someone does something wrong or forgot something, isnt the natural thing to do is tell them? What did I say wrong? There is so much more I could say to paint the picture of everything that has gone on. I dont want a divorce but this is too crazy!

Assuming that Nick was tired, or that he thought you were interfering with something that he should have chosen, or something, & that he really doesn't feel like Chad is someone to swear about, in other words, assuming there's something to work with here... One thing I've noticed that men *are* good at is detailed directions/instructions. 1. When alarm goes off, push button. 2. Throw back covers. 3. Put feet into slippers. 4. etc Send Chad to a friend's house for the evening, & take Nick for a walk or a bike ride & tire him out, since people are more open-minded & less likely to erupt when they're a little tired ("physically tired", not "stress-tired", do *not* try this when he's just spent 10 hours on an excruciating project at work!). When you get home (be sure this isn't on a football night, or whatever night he has something else on his mind), sit down with him & tell him that you want everyone to be happy in the family & that you want him & Chad to have a good, strong, enjoyable relationship, & that you want to try an experiment. & have an outline of your "project" in front of you, with one goal & a few basic or simple steps to achieve it. Tell him you haven't thought past this first small goal, you want to start small, & ask him for his ideas for more steps toward the goal. Agree to get together in a week to talk about how successful it's been & what can be done to fine-tune the steps or refine the goal. At that get-together, agree to have another meeting the following week. Praise every tiny improvement as it happens during the week. (We know to praise dogs, & yet we forget to do it with our nearest & dearest!) When the first goal has been attained, or is within reach, ask him for thoughts on another goal. That first get-together may give you a yes/no answer: if Nick is willing to give it a try, even if he's wary (& people are often wary of something new), hang in there, but if he blows up & tells you to mind your own business & stalks off *& doesn't come back to make up & explore the idea further after he's cooled down*... then I'd say you need to take your son & get outta Dodge. I wish all of you the best.

I’m so glad you found peace Southern Summer ! I know it’s not the way we all visualized our blended families to be, but we had no choice but to separate & RE-gain our marriage back. I know that feeling & I am so glad your husband realized what was happening & found his way back to your marriage as priority & backed you, his wife, his future. I’m so glad to have connected with other SM’s who get it. Have a great day & keep smiling, there is a great life out here for all of us !