How do I deal with an ex-wife who is bitter?
nessa-2006
17 years ago
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brass_tacks
17 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
My wife of 3 years cheated. How do I know how far she went
Comments (8)Let me tell you that if I saw pictures of my DH in bed with another woman, even fully clothed, he'd have lots of explaining to do. But, after finding these pics and seeing as how she was hiding her phone and finding out why....I'd just wait it out and see what her future and current behavior is. If she has plans, meetings or outings that are out of norm for her, I'd check those out. If her appearance changes as far as weight, hairdo, clothing...I'd look into the reasons why. If she went looking elsewhere because you're stubborn and a non- talker, then change your style because it ain't working for you. If you want things to work, then you both need to meet in the middle. She may have slept with this man. but if she did and you love her and don't want to lose her then just deal with it. It may have been just a fling to prove that someone else found her attractive because you didn't make her feel that way. if she's got what she wants at home, she won't go looking elsewhere. Hope it works out for you....See MoreWhy do ex wives blame the new wife or SM for everything?
Comments (61)dotz, I'm sorry for yours and your husband's situation. The sad part of all, is if your SS has children, he is teaching them through his example, how they should someday treat him. My mom made it clear she didn't like my stepmom and didn't want us to like her either. There are four of us in our family and while my two sisters rallied with my mom and didn't like my stepmom, I came to resent my mom for wanting me to choose and for saying nasty things about someone I liked. (My brother liked and got along with my stepmom but I don't remember my mom saying anything to him. He was out of the house when my dad remarried) I could see my stepmom did nothing to anyone to cause them to dislike her, they did it just because my mom would crack jokes or dig for info and then say nasty things about it. I can't say how my sisters felt, but it made me uncomfortable and I was a teenager. I can only imagine how torn some young kids feel. I'm sure some are not torn, they will do whatever it takes to please their parent. It is on a case by case basis because each child is going to have a different personality and have their own feelings about it, regardless of what the parent says or does. It's my belief that even the kids that rally with the parent, may someday come to realize what their parent did was wrong, probably after they become parents and/or stepparents themselves and experience the difficulty in raising (someone else's) child and possibly dealing with the bio parent of their stepchild. They may also resent the parent that causes friction in their relationship with the other parent. When I read of an estrangement, I often wonder if that might have something to do with it. But, since history is often rewritten, who knows? I'm sure there are plenty of other reasons too. My point is, it's terrible how what someone (either parent) does to a young child, may follow that child into adulthood and even old age... and also impact generations to come....See MoreDon't know how to deal with boyfriend and x-wife
Comments (11)I have to side with the others on here, your bf does not seem worth your committment. Marriage is a HUGE committment and should not be used as a tool to fix a broken relationship. I know that right now you have a baby and are not quite finished with college and it seems so hard to leave. But, for you and your daughter you should go. I say this from experience, being in a similar situation when I was only 19 and mother to a 4 month old baby. I was scared to leave my ex, who treated me like crap. I was worried about how I would support our son on my own. For a while I thought it would be better to stay because of my son. Then I realized that a miserable mom was not good for a child. So, when I finally hit my breaking point with my ex I left. I had to move in with family and work full-time while going to college full-time and raising a baby. It was a struggle. But, it paid off. I felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders when I left. Sure, I had nights when I cried myself to sleep. But, when I saw his next gf as miserable as I had been I realized I had made the right choice. He would never change. For the next few years I focused on me and my son, got my life on track, and regained my self-esteem. I decided that I deserved much more than I had in my ex. I dated around for years, picking apart each man I dated to my friends. They often joked that I would be an old spinster. I almost thought I would be, then I met the man of my dreams. The way he treated me and the way I instantly felt around him was wonderful! This is what I deserved. Years later we married and are very happy. I have thought back many times to how horrible my life would have been if I had not made the decision to leave my ex. You deserve so much more than this guy is giving you. Please do not settle for this. Your almost done with school and have so much life in front of you-do not waste it You do not want to look back when your 35 and say "I should have left back then!"...See MoreLeaving bitter behind..the legacy of the ex...A RANT!
Comments (104)Oh the ease which some judge others. First of all, I have healed from bitterness. It is a tough thing to overcome, but I did it. I know several people who were severely wronged and bitterness set in. Now, for the person to take their bitterness out is wrong. Carrying it is not. God made us all differently. Additionally, there are things that can culminate throughout life that can attribute to a person carrying this disease. What the person needs more than anything is a compassionate, loving, and firm hand to help them rid themselves of it. Our society is filled with convenience. Come on, if we're going to address the issue, let's not attack a pain and let's deal with the bigger problem. How often do you walk down the street and ignore the one who is hurting? The Bible reminds us not to forget the hungry and the poor. Now, I'm not hungry and poor. That was not my plight. Tell me that today, in our society, we have not turned the hungry and the poor over to a system so we can enjoy our stress free life. Folks, the cancer that is forming is a direct result of our own desire for ease and convenience. Get over it and move on, you say. I think that depends on how devastating and long lasting the wound is. My experience lasted 21 years. Do you really think I was going to come out of that without some kind of baggage? Do you really think I was capable of understanding what I was dealing with? I do now and have succeeded. Yes, I wanted help and got it. However, some of the responses here bite me. It's not just growing up. It's letting go. I know of a lady who is extremely successful. Everyday she goes to work and has a very successful career. However, at home she is a raging tyrant. Nobody knows what she is doing to her family. There is no physical abuse, but there is continual chaos. I am working with the children in that home, but there is really nothing I can do to change the situation. There are no "laws" being broken. It is emotional abuse, which is hard to prove. Do you think those kids will have some issues to work through once they are grown? Let's look at all of the angles and not attack. God bless....See Moreweed30 St. Louis
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