But for dad to have a live in pregnant GF is not a good idea. We all understand the difference between teens and adults, but given teen hormones, this is not a good idea. IMHO.

But, I agree that dad is setting a bad example by having a live in pregnant GF. Teens may use dad's choices against him to justify theirs. Doesn't leave much for dad to say... except "I'm the adult, you're not." but it doesn't even sound like he's standing his ground at all. Has he considered who's going to be the one to deal with an unplanned pregnancy? Isn't he worried about STD's? or just the thought of some boy laying up with his little girl? If I were having his baby, I'd worry about his ability to parent and make good judgments...

My BF and I weren't allowed sleepovers, but he came to the cabin with our family, and I went RVing with his when we were 15/16. We wound up sleeping on the pull-out couch in the living room together, but that's a little different than spending an ordinary weekend night in a bedroom.

Another friend had a BF who lived about 90 minutes away. He often stayed with her family for the weekend, and vice verse. They stayed in guest rooms, not in the same room.

So, I guess my point is that it's OK to have coed sleepovers as teens... But that it's not OK to have drunk teenagers sneaking out and unsupervised alone at night.

I also think that since you're an adult in the house, and part of (what I consider) the alpha relationship, you should get a heads-up when one of the kids in the house wants a sleepover or party.

Your DH is her parent and sets the rules, but I understand why you're upset that he didn't bounce it off you.
1) You're pregnant, so you're probably tired and not up to extra stress. The last thing your energy level needs is partying teens in your house! However, SD still needs a social life, so maybe a bit more compromise is in order? Like friends over is OK, but NO drinking, and quiet-ish (like watching a movie) after 1am, and everyone goes home?
2) You likely have a better insight into being a rebellious and horny teenage girl than he does - LOL! Dads sometimes have their heads in the clouds about their daughters. So you're probably thinking "Geez! BF is a naive dumb@ss! Why doesn't he see that his DD having a boy sleep over is a bad idea?! I could have told him that if he'd just asked me."
3) You're pregnant, so you're probably a little hormonal and may be taking things a little personally. It can be hard to adjust to being a part of a stepfamily, and I suspect it's even harder when you're also starting a joint family!

From your brief story, I think you're right that he doesn't want to say no to her. Here are some guesses why:
He might feel like she is responsible enough to make good decisions and doesn't need her to tell him no (ery few 15yos are).
He might feel that she's too old for him to tell no (she's not).
He might feel that he should cut her some slack, since her life is changing because of the pregnancy (doing something awesome and father-daughter-y together is a better option than having her BF sleepover.)
Maybe I'm way off-track, and there's totally a different reason?

I'm rambling now... I'll be quiet.

oh, well, that's *entirely* better than having a bunch of girls sleep over.

bwaa haaaa hahaaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaa.

Seriously...
dad has rocks in his head & his daughter has *no* guidance;
as a friend once said, she's in the driver's seat & she's far too young to drive.

(I suspect she knows she's too young to drive, & her outrageous behavior, drinking, sleeping with boyfriend in her dad's house, etc, is the desperate plea of a young girl for *somebody* for heaven's sake to step up & give her some boundaries & show her some love.)

Although kk's perspective is strictly toward the daughter, she made an excellent point;

dad having a pregnant live-in girlfriend is not good for his daughter.

*and* it isn't good for you.
*and* it isn't good for your baby.

You need a husband to support you & your child,
your child needs a committed dad,
your boyfriend's daughter needs a grown up responsible father & a far better example than what she has.

What you need to figure out is whether this guy has anything to offer in the way of support, commitment, & guidance.

His behavior doesn't give any hint that he can fulfill a husband/father role.

I wish you the best.

ceph please tell me you are kiding that you slept with your BF in the same bed (or pull out couch) in your or his parents house/RV at age 15. 15? I hope you get ages confused. 15? same bed? together? parents are there and are OK wiht it? I am a liberal parent so were my parents, but I have never heard of such a thing. just doesn't sound all right to me.

Nope, I was 15, he was 16. We'd been together nearly a year, our parents knew we weren't having sex and weren't about to start.
We each had our own sleeping bags, and parents were less than 10 feet away.
In the RV, there were 3 beds, each one was double: his parents had one, we had one, and his little brother and his friend had one. We were in the same room as two 9yo boys, and the parents were through an open pocket door, although it was technically a separate room.
In the cabin, there was a bedroom with a double bed and a pullout in the living room. My parents had the bedroom, slept with the door open, and we were in our sleeping bags on the pull-out. The way the rooms were arranged, the beds faced towards each other and were about 8 feet apart, jsut separated by a doorway.
There's no way there could have been any funny business!
When we wanted some action we went for a walk by ourselves to find a quiet secluded bit of woods where we could makeout and get handsy, LOL!

I guess the point is that well-supervised trustworthy teenagers sleeping in the same place isn't a big deal to me... But unsupervised is, and so is sneaking out to drink in the park.

But a garden variety sleepover? No Way! Why don't you suggest they just get a motel room? That might open Daddy's eyes.

This girl needs limits and boundaries. Otherwise, it'll be Daddy and his pregnant girlfriend and his pregnant daughter.

OP's BF is out of line and need to provide his daughter wiht guidance. it is nice to be friends wiht your children, i am a good friend wiht DD, but this is overdoing it. and if BF thinks that she knows everything at age 15 then he is not mature enough to have children. not only he is raising this one wrong, he is expecting another one. he better does some thinking. even if there is no sex involved, she will grow up and remeber that dad didn't even cared enough to say "no" to stupid decisions she made.

BF might be trying to be her buddy more than he's trying to be her parent. It's a fine-line to walk though.

And this made me chuckle:
"even if there is no sex involved, she will grow up and remeber that dad didn't even cared enough to say "no" to stupid decisions she made."

My dad wasn't very good at parenting - he'd always had my mom to help him along, so when she died, he was a fish out of water. I still remember this conversation:
End of grade 12... I wanted to go camping with my friends for May Long Weekend (I'm Canadian, so that's around May 24)
"Dad, can I go camping for May Long with my friends? I want to leave Friday night after the grad banquet."
"Sure."
"Uh, ok... There will be boys there, including BF?"
"I assumed there would be. Will there be other girls there?"
"Yes."
"Then OK."

I remember being baffled though, because most of my friends got the third degree from their parents about who would be there, if there would be alcohol, to call and check in each day, and so on. Part of me was happy I didn't have to deal with that "crap". The other part went "Huh? Why isn't he asking?"
In hindsight, my dad cared, but I think he just thought I'd made it that far without any major catastrophes, so he considered me a success.
Is it possible that your BF is somewhat like my dad in that?