Can she file for a modified schedule? Where I live, if she hasnt requested a modification within a certain period, yes. Will she get it? Help me out -- who moved away, your DH or her? If she did, I have trouble beleiving a court would not try to accomodate dad.

I feel for you! I swear we are dealing with the SAME woman or clones!

Let her huff and puff... who knows if she will blow the house down? I tend to say actions speak louder than words... but that was before BM actually filed for custody of SD. (I really didn't think she ever would, but then when money has become an issue... it's important for her to have custody of her daughter now) She may get it, there's no guarantees what a court will do... it's will drive you crazy to speculate and guess. (or worry about it)

I wish I had some encouraging words for you. My SD's BM has twisted everything to make me look like a monster and then got SD to tell the mediator terrible things about me (which really hurt) and now it really is up in the air... and it has put a strain on my relationship with SD because SD knows everything I have done for her but says to my face that everything she said is true... now, I can understand why she lied, we expected it since BM made a special trip to be the one to take her and I'm not upset over what she said, I'm upset that she stands behind what she said when we both know it's all lies. She could say I'm sorry I said those things about you and I would let it go, but she refuses to admit she lied. Anyways, not trying to hijack your thread... but we seem to be dealing with the same type of person and every time she sinks to a new low... it really leaves me shaking my head and wondering what the hell I am doing this for? and everything you say about your SS's BM... is stuff SD's mom has done (or said). If I do nice things... I'm 'overstepping'. If I disengage/back off and let DH do everything... I'm treating her daughter like a 2nd class citizen in our home. There is no winning with a b*tch like that... they care more about the fight/control than they do about what's best for their child. Makes me sick...

Sorry I don't have anything better to say... my head hurts from the BS.

"Help me out -- who moved away, your DH or her?"

Both of them and neither, at the same time.

When BM and DH were together, they lived together in DH's condo. Split up and BM moved back to the suburb where her family is---about 10 miles from where she and DH had been living. DH bought a house about 2-3 miles from their old condo and moved there. So I'd say they lived about 15 miles apart, give or take.

DH lived in his house for 5 years.

Then DH and I moved in together shortly before we got married. He moved to the suburb I live in, but it's about 5 miles from his old house.

So this put us at 20 miles away from BM. They went to court right around this time over school district issue.

Then BM just moved, last month, about 5 miles farther west of us. So she is now about 25 miles from our house.

So---it's been a gradual thing, no one has just up and moved miles away out of the blue. They keep drifting farther apart. We are settled in our home, though, no plans to move, and if we ever did---it would for SURE be within a 3 mile radius. We LOVE the town we live in and would not leave.

I don't really blame BM for wanting to be in "her" area because her family/friends are all out there, it's where she grew up, etc. Same reasons we have for wanting to in "our" area.

"If I do nice things... I'm 'overstepping'. If I disengage/back off and let DH do everything... I'm treating her daughter like a 2nd class citizen in our home. "

Oh Ima...I can so relate. It is d*mned if you do, d*mned if you don't with these people.

I guarantee you, BM is irritable b/c she doesn't like the idea of SS spending fun time with ME this summer. But if it were ME complaining and saying I didn't WANT to watch him, spend time with him, etc, she would be hoppin' mad.

You didn't hijack at all..it's comforting to know (misery loves company???) that others have been through this stuff before. It certainly doesn't make it easier or less stressful, though.

I'm sorry you're going through so much BS, too.

Ok, so I'ld say that's a push as to who moved away. When was the custody last adjusted?

They finished their court case in December of 2008, so only 5 or 6 months ago.

BM agreed to DH having residential custody (per the GAL's rec.) and they got the court seal of approval on their 50-50 arrangement.

There is NOTHING in their court papers about ROFR at all. I do remember last summer BM balked a bit at me having SS and the GAL did say something about it not being her concern what goes on at our house, and vice versa when SS is with her.

I doubt she will really do anything. Her alcohol eval. is tomorrow and my guess is she's nervous/blowing smoke because of that.

To me it sounds like this alcohol eval has her head spinning. She is just trying to think of ways to "get" your dh. Changing custody, changing visitation, not letting you watch ss when your dh is at work, more money etc. She just wants to get a rise out of you guys. And her trick to give you all the wrong phone number for the eval place was a doozey!

If she really filed all these motions she would look silly. And I would really wait to see how this alcohol eval goes before worrying about anything. If she does not pass this she will not have a leg to stand on as far as modifying any visitation or custody or support.

I agree with Mom2emall, I think she's probably more than a bit panicking about the eval.

This sounds like a panick call and she's blowing steam.
SHe wont get the approval of rearranging because
1. the schedual has been like this for a while for summer and you have set the precedent.
2. The main residency is your DH's....not bm.
3. The judge will see it as her getting cahs....not for the benefit of the child. (she brought up the cash issue....she's scheming..in her delusional alcohol way.)
No.....its just a steam blowing convo...unless she brings it in court, dont worry about it. I'm sure her eval tomorrow is going to change things drastically and she is not ready for it.

Where I live, courts dont like to modify custody orders every 6 months, unless there has been a change in circumstances to justify it. Dont see it here. Good luck.

The courts would seriously let her come in and complain about who is watching her kid? There dad has to work in order to provide a home and support for them. Someone would have to watch them. I am sure the kids would rather stay with you than go to daycare.
Sometimes these biomoms are just plain ole crazy.

Jesus! Would somebody slap a straight jacket on this woman and call it a day already! BM is seriously grasping at straws.