"Although I wonder how you manage to create straight rows with a town behind dethatcher on a rider. I can't even mow in straight rows, I have to do the zamboni mowing method because of the layout of my property." Like what Morph said, the straight rows don't really matter that much. Once the grass comes in you can't tell what pattern it was planted. We had our house built 1.5 years ago. So I've been going all out to get it in prime shape. We had sod in most of our yard but the first summer (last year) crabgrass totally took over my front yard. We did not actually move in until the fall but closed in late spring so I was not there to take care of the yard. Just now does the front look as good as other areas. It took a year to clean up the crabgrass problem. Next year I'm going to start scaling back what I do b/c I now have what I call a solid base. My lawn looks perfect (to me) in every area. Now I know during the summer it might thin out a little in some areas or a dog may mess up a spot but the amount of seed I buy each year is going to be cut in half. Oh yeah, one other thing. My lawn is very healthy and during the droughts I usually only watered 2-3 times a week. My water bill (3 months) was usually under $200 while some of my neighbors were >$500. Read some of the threads about watering and training your roots to grow down deep into the soil. Frequent watering can create shallow roots. The dethatcher is a very helpful tool and I'm always shocked at how much crap it pulls up out of the yard. Although I think the aerator has done the most to make my yard thick and green. This is not recommended but I used my aerator in July b/c my lawn was burning/turning brown and no amount of water would help. I aerated and applied a summer fertilizer and watered it really good. Within a week my lawn and bounced back and looked great. A few of the neighbors asked me what I did so I did their yard and got the same results.

You may be worrying about nothing :-) Its OK to be cold about it. Informed buyers and sellers, will measure it themselves. Pricing by the sq. ft' is common but you can (and should IMO) assign different values for different spaces. Figuring replacement costs and comps to the neighborhood is just one aspect of valuation. Adding and subtracting from the sum of the parts is how I find the value to me. Your mileage may vary. For instance, with heating and cooling costs rising, an overly lrg. house may be viewed negatively as opposed to a house more on the cozy side. Also, if someone is looking based on sq footage and finds your home roomy feeling comparatively ... thats a good thing. The lot matters. Mature trees and easy maintenance or elaborate landscaping. Too big, too small, too steep, too close to a busy street, oddly shaped, fenced or not etc. and all of those things can be found in the same neighborhood. If the basement or other space is finished, floor, ceiling, heat and AC, everything, in an acceptable manor, I count it but not at full price and I know folks that won't count paneling or suspended ceilings at all. I think carpet and drywall have no place below grade or under plumbing and a walk out basement is much more valuable but those are my own personal quirks. I don't count the upper floor of a 1.5 or 2 story the same as the main main level since I prefer ranches and_to me_ an unfinished basement is preferred since I can see any deficits the foundation may have, its much easier to make any plumbing or electrical changes and the space can be developed to my preference. Partially finished, in this case, meaning walls but no ceiling or flooring or finished spaces much different than IÂd configure would actually be a negative to me. Hard things to put numbers to, making your strict sq ft number less meaningful. Have fun!

I'm not sure why you're still posting to me when it's obvious that your situation is/was much different and agreeable to all involved. And, since there isn't an actual "step" relationship that exists for you as the SM is out of the picture, it probably is hard to relate. Here's the whole story - worked w/ DH a couple of years, got along w/ this DD, helped her in tennis (I played through college on a scholarship) but saw that she wasn't a worker at it and had visions of playing at the next level. Tried to tell her that practice in this sport needed to be daily, not weekly if she really wanted to play in college. Then, the ex and DH split up due to her affair w/ this DDs tennis coach. As I said, she bought his groceries (DH found her unloading them once at his apt!), gave him $, displaced DH as the father - took this man w/ her and the kids to the movies, etc. Fast forward - my engagement to my fiance from residency broke up - he wanted me to move to central FL, I was caring for my Dear Nephews 7 days/week who hadn't been dealt a fair hand in the parenting dept. I was living at my parent's home, paying all their bills and cleaning the house entirely weekly. DH and I loved sports - began taking my DNephews to games, etc. We fell in love - I didn't see it coming as he was 19 yrs. older and I'd never dated anyone that much older. Our first kiss was months later, 5 days before his divorce was final. The ex's bf dumped her and she was very bitter learning that he and I were seeing one another. She trashed my name to patients, neighbors, etc. We had a mutual friend who worked for us and this woman tried to get our rec't to give her all the addresses of all patients so she could spread her venom even more. The rec't quit under the stress of being friendly w/ all sides, severing ties w/ the ex, but leaving us high and dry after she worked for my DH for 17 yrs. It hurt the practice. During the time we dated (1 1/2 yrs), my steps were nowhere to be seen. In fact, I didn't see them at all while dating DH. They didn't come to the office and I didn't go to his place on his weekends (felt they needed time to reestablish a relationship w/o the gf around), and his ex tried like heck to NOT have them see him - coming up w/ any excuse to not allow his EOW visits to occur. She would often just have the DD play tournaments on her weekends w/ her dad, so they'd often be busy there, sometimes out of town at them. The kids were completely lost to him. We married when they were 12, 14, 16. The DDs said they wanted to go to the wedding, so I took them shopping for dresses. I thought they had changed their hearts back to where they were before I dated their dad, but when we got in the middle of the mall, they screamed that they HATED me and to get out of their lives. It was a terrible scene. I was embarrassed, hurt, you name it. My SS attended the wedding, the girls did not. After the honeymoon, the ex cried that she was being evicted from her place - which was one room w/ her and these three kids. (DH paid handsomely and she skimped on EVERYTHING for these kids - the double dipping was sickening! The kids would come over w/ the clothes on their backs, and in one instance, w/ no shoes. Come on!) I immediately offered the rental I have (that I now have offered SD) or to allow us to house the kids while she found a place. Not willing to give up CS, that was opposed. I said that I wasn't worried about CS, just trying to help out. She moved the kids over and over and must have a small fortune stashed by now...never into the home I rent out. Anyway, on weekends, this SD usually had tennis - the ex would have her in tournaments on "our" visitation weekends that were out of town. DH would take her. Sometimes I'd have the other kids, sometimes she'd keep them. My weekends were filled w/ awkwardness. The kids did not respect me, I tried like heck to please them - made whatever they wanted, movies, amusement parks, etc. If I had them, they ALWAYS brought a friend to spend the weekend w/ us, so very little alone time was spent w/ me as the "buffer" friends were there and I didn't know what to do. If this SD and her sister were w/ us, the room was left in squalid conditions. Often, the beds would be moved so that I couldn't enter the room. I'd have to enter an adjacent bedroom, go through the connecting bathroom, then into their room. Sheets, comforters, wet towels would be all over the place. There were many other disgusting things that I'll spare you of related to their monthly cycles... Anyway, I'd complain to DH, he'd say nothing, and things didn't improve. By the time they came back, a gentle, "Please try to leave the room the way you find it, girls..." would follow. I was too unassertive to speak up. Then, a couple of years later, college followed - we paid, naturally, and they began to crash in on us each break, despite their mother now having a house and living alone. From never wanting to be around us, suddenly it was us they always with. They knew who buttered their bread. In they'd crash w/ a bunch of friends. Not one of them EVER made a bed, which is one of my few pet peeves - I have things cluttered up, but the beds are always made before we leave the house. By then, I had the boys, still worked, lived in our office bldg in cramped conditions, 2 bathrooms - showers only, etc. It wasn't comfortable for DH, me, his 3 kids, our 2-3 sons depending on the year, their friends, etc. The stepson, who had made fun of our old house (prior to its demo and this new one being built) HATED living in an office "basement" (ground floor of a 2 story bldg) and complained to anyone and everyone. Still, I tried to please him. I GAVE him my loaded Ford Explorer and he called it a piece of junk. It was no such thing - was very nice, 2 y. old. He was supposed to work for us, showed up twice in a summer in exchange for a car he felt was suitable. What did DH do? Bought him a LEXUS that we could not afford. Suddenly, DH was able to get financing (everything else is in my name as he has bad credit). The car didn't have xenon lights so the creep yelled, "I'd rather have a Honda Civic w/ xenon lights that this w/o them!" GRRRR - and I have a Honda and it's a GREAT car! DH and I fought. Later, the SAME situation occurred w/ the girls. They have a huge sense of entitlement. I realize DH's parenting caused a lot of this, but their mother told them over and over to basically try to take us to the cleaners and they have! DH married their mom as she was pg - said she was on the pill....They had broken up when she turned up pg. He stepped up, then a few years later, she stepped out, poisoned the kids, later tried to prevent me from having a relationship w/ them which worked for a long time. Then, suddenly, it could cost her to keep them from us. So, she and they all saw that Daddy would buy more toys - and so the story goes. Please, don't act like I haven't tried or didn't know this man had kids. They've made it clear how they feel and also that if they want anything, it wouldn't come from their mom. DH w/ the guilt or whatever, is a pleaser, and tries in the wrong ways to bond w/ these kids. I don't think it's right, but I DO understand. We all LOVE our kids, would lay down our lives for them, etc. I know he's in a tough position. However, I do not want my kids raised in the same manner and do not want any of their materialism influencing my children. I want to raise INDEPENDENT and happy, healthy men, not boys. My SD has received the benefit of the doubt so much of the time. She hasn't wanted for anything. I've mentioned that her father is stressed about our finances as we wait for some help from the ins. co due to the fire in '05, that he is stressed w/ time, still she forks over her bills and her errands, not handling anything. It's just making me sick. Sadly, these children have a huge sense of entitlement and are greedy people. The YSD never spoke to me, but after her mother found religion handed me a Christmas list and said, "My mother is baking a birthday cake for Jesus. She doesn't believe in the commercialism of Christmas, so I guess I'll have to give you this." I was dumbfounded, but off I went, buying everything on the list. It was ALL returned, and has been ever since. See, I still TRY, feel like there could be a window for a real relationship to form, but I'm always disappointed. Now, I have my own kids' well-being to be concerned w/. After the b-day, shopping trip that never happened to my oldest last month, I see a pattern and I won't have my own kids feeling disappointed like I have over the years. Guess I even tried to placate them materialistically - basically in any way I could. I've never had this situation. Don't you see, TOS, it's all about "her." For me being as close to my mother as I am, I'd rather stay w/ her in a hut w/o A/C, 'cause I love her, than w/ anyone else in a palace. I don't think these kids understand love. They all but dumped their mom when they began wanting things she wouldn't provide. What kind of love it that? And, now, living w/ me and DH and our three sons while her mother lives alone? Just doesn't make sense. I think when their mother found religion, they found Daddy again as mom started tithing to her church and not to them...maybe they see their mom's lies and severed some ties because of that, but regardless, these kids don't care for me. I allowed myself to be treated like a doormat, trying to be accepted, liked, etc. That's my mistake, but I'll be darned if it will continue or extend to my kids. This morning, she was yelling because my younger two woke her up 10min. before her alarm would go off and she needed that sleep (did her own laundry last night, hooray, but didn't like it apparently!) It's the youngest one's 3rd b-day and they were excited. I was making everyone breakfast, got a dirty look for not keeping them quieter, but I smiled, "Good morning!" She mumbled something back and that was that...agree to disagree yet?

Thanks so much everyone for reading and commenting on my rant. In a sense, it helps me to learn that there are others facing just as much difficulties. Kristine: it's true that it seems roses were much more easy to cultivate in the past. In a sense, I feel like collecting and introducing new roses into the garden because of my love for them, is ironically the reason why they are facing such difficulties. I have a cousin who has two roses at her home grown decades old. They are very healthy and vigorous and I see no disease issue with them. She never buys any knew ones and lives out in the country and so rose diseases are not introduced to her plants. As opposed to mine, where for years I've had knew roses coming in from every all over the country and many different nurseries. One of the biggest regrets for me is knowingly planting roses that had crown gall on them. It was suggested that I cut off the gall from the new bareroots and soak them in a bleach solution. Well, I did that, and eventually these same ones are full of crown gall now have brought it into my yard and spread it to the others. Toolbelt: About the wildflower bed, actually I already do grow many annuals. Mainly cosmos and zinnias! They're great and reliable, but still there is NOTHING like the richness of roses to me and I find myself only looking at the roses if they're in bloom Summersrythm: I do have about 30 rose bushes right now, which doesn't seem like a lot compared to some, but with my poor physical health it is a lot to care for. They are a mix of modern and old roses. The thing about using a product like Actinovate is that it is good if you can remove the gall. On many of mine however, it is right at the base rising up from the roots surrounding all sides, so it's something that would need to be dug up entirely. Picture attached is an example but many of mine are much larger than this and in ground.