Lies and Abuse

13 years ago

Hmm, as I see the subject of my post I think I have my answer...but I would still like to hear all opinions!

Back in March, I posted about my SS abusing my DS. The boys have both been through psychological testing and it's been determined that SS has some serious issues, sexual in nature and also wanting to hurt others. DH still somewhat in denial and has not gotten his son into counseling yet. We separated due to all this over a month ago, simply because I wanted to keep all of my children safe. DH thinks I'm over-reacting, of course, to everything. He is the only one who does not think his son has a problem (as far as me and the counselors and psychologists go).

Since our separation, we've continued to see each other thinking we could maintain our marriage but live in separate homes. We've kept our money together and paid bills, bought groceries, etc., together. BUT I have twice caught DH in lies. He gave his son his cell phone back (which was the catalyst to this whole situation and he SWORE his son would never have a phone again), and lied to me about SS use of it. He said he only gave it to him so when he was home by himself he'd have a way to call if he needed something. In the three weeks SS had the phone, he had about 700 minutes in calls and 1200 texts. He had it early in the morning, during school, and late at night. The way I know this is because SS phone is on my cell phone account and I was able to check his usage online. When I asked DH about it, he continued to say that SS only had it at home for an emergency. He said he had the phone on his desk at work and I was like, really? Then how was he using it at school today??

Second thing my DH did, while not technically a lie, it certainly sent up a red flag to me. We've always shared everything, but he does have his own cell phone account because the cell phone company will only allow 5 lines per account (we have 4 children). I've always known his passwords, user ids, etc., and I check the bill online to make sure the payments go through. When I checked it yesterday, he's changed the password! He also changed the password on his email account, which he's had for years.

We've been married for 9 years and have been through some very difficult times, but nothing has compared to these last few months. Now I feel betrayed on top of everything else! I feel like he's hiding something from me. He cheated on his first wife and I've had suspicions in the past about him cheating on me too. I hate to give everything up, but it just keeps mounting and it's almost more than I can handle. I can't think of any other reason for him changing his passwords. Any thoughts???