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BM thinks I'm ok today

Posted by mom_of_2.5 (My Page) on
Thu, May 7, 09 at 12:26

It simply amazes me how 363 days a year BM calls me every name she can think of,and badmouths me every way possible to anyone who will listen, then maybe twice a year when she creates a scheduling conflict for herself, and it suits her she has the nerve to ask DH for me to do some type of favor for her.

To add some background, about 4 months ago she sent an email saying that SS would really benefit from seeing us communicate positively. She really wanted me to know that she doesn't have any hard feelings toward me, and that I should really come with DH to pick up SS and socialize.

I waited 3 days to respond knowing that my first thoughts should not be the ones I share with her. My first thoughts were...you should have had his best interests at heart 5 friggin years ago! Now that he's learned from you to hate and disrespect me for 5 years you think if we say hello he's going to be all better? What planet does this woman come from?

I should also let you guys know that BM and I have known each other 10+yrs. We used to be neighbors, and friendly. I would not say I considered her a friend, that I would have shared my feelings with, but back in the day we took our kids places together, had kids in the same school. In fact, when SS was born, my family visited and brought gifts. We didn't meet when DH and I married. Although DH and I remained friends the entire 10+ yrs, I did not break up their marriage. We didn't even start dating until 6 months after he'd left her but in her tiny little mind...I'm to blame.

Knowing how she feels, I have made every effort to never tangle with her. I don't answer the phone when she calls, I just try to give her lots of space to live her life and I let DH handle all business with her, I just don't get involved.

So, after careful consideration I responded to let her know I'm really glad that she finally has SS's best interest at heart. I'm more than happy to participate in anything that will benefit him(part of the conversation was directed toward him getting counseling and would DH and I be willing to go if needed) I care deeply about him as he is a part of my family as well.
This woman is a master of manipulation, and being as we've already got issues with her trying to control what happens in my home, I can see how getting friendly with her would result in even more of the same. And I guess my resentment for 5 yrs of being bashed by her resulted in my inability to resist including in my response that I couldn't care less how she feels about me. That DH picks SS up on his wan home from work so I can't reallly ride along to say hi and that while yes, I'm willing to communicate with her to benefit SS, if she wants to yell, scream, call names that I'm simply not intereseted and that I would not participate. It's really up to her (behavior) how much we communicate. It felt great to say we'll talk on my terms, you won't bully me!

Never heard from her again. Goes to show what her true intentions were.

So, my new irritation...yesterday she calls DH because Fri when he's supposed to pick up SS at 6, she's planning to leave town at 3:30 and she wanted to know if I was working and could I come pick him up?

A) Why doesn't she ask me herself? she certainly has our email.

B) Why would I go out of my way for one second to convenience her?

C)Why is she making plans to leave at 3ish when her son doesn't get picked up til 6? Why doesn't she plan to leave at 6?

Blah.... since she doesn't have anyone to watch SS and she wants to leave I'm okay today. Bet if I don't rearrange my schedule to accomodate her I'll be a whore again tomorrow.


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: BM thinks I'm ok today

Mom 2.5, A or B, Seriously, I pick tommorrow I m the ho....Five years and she wants to wave the white flag after a half decade of PAS? Hmm , would give me pause..Up to something, no, I dont think I d give her a quick sneak outta town on her weekend. Would she do the same for you?


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