Goodness!!! It just seems like this lady will never learn. It makes me sad to hear that the girls cried.

Poor little girls :(

(But Karma has certainly bit her in the butt to spend Mother's Day in jail. If she were anyone else, I'd probably feel bad for her... But this woman makes her own bed.)

"If she were anyone else, I'd probably feel bad for her... But this woman makes her own bed"

Exactly...
Hope you had a great day with all of your girls, Doodle.

It is so sad for the girls.
But it seems like they have to go through this hard stuff in order to see a parent for who they really are in the end.
It isn't fair, but that is what happens when you are dealing with one super selfish parent, who does not think of their children first.

I was very unhappy with BM to say the least.

J had the girls help him paint me a huge Mother's Day card on a piece of cardboard. The three of them worked together on it. It was super adorable. Anyway, I think in doing that N_______ had major guilt. We found her sobing in her room with a note by her bed that read "I love you with all my heart. Please forgive me." Of course it mas mispelled and some of the letters were backwards but you could read it perfectly non the less. Of course this upset R_____ and she started also.

We told them they did not owe her an apology at all...in fact it was HER that should be apologizing to them! We just kept telling them over and over that they had done nothing wrong. This was out of their hands and there is nothing they or anyone else can do to change the situation.

J just told them he understands how they feel. His mother left him with his father at a young age and didn't visit much. He also told them that we love them very much.

Eventually they snapped out of it (when we chased down the ice cream truck) and then the rest of the weekend they seemed fine. Their little gears just switch so fast. The next day (Mother's Day) we got the call from BM's mom saying she was back in the clinker. SHe asked us to tell the girls that BM said hello and she loves them. We said we would but didn't. We figured they had already had one guilt laden meltdown and there was no need to egg another on.

They gave me my card and J had bought me a lovely Fox Glove plant to add to our garden. We all went to my mothers where the girls played happily with my nephews and had fun in the sprinkler. Had we mentioned BM it would of ruined another day for them.

That is really sad for the girls and cruel.
What more cruel is the her bf is not bailing her out considering the occasion and for bf's mom to do this around mom days...mmm..she must really not like her or there was some nasty words exchanged and she said she's gonna get it.
Its just sad that your girls have to suffer. Yes, keep reminding them its not their fault and they do not have to apologize! They did nothing wrong!!!

Doodle, I am sorry about all of this.

1. Please be careful with children and pets around Foxglove -- The roots, sap , flowers, seeds and leaves are poisoneous.

2. organic -- not knowing all the facts -- I cant say if BF and his mom were cruel. If the kidss mom was high I might have been afraid. If the BFs mom kept asking her to leave and she wouldnt -- she may have felt no choice. We werent there.

I definitely don't think it is cruel of BF and his mom, or BM's family to leave her in jail. There comes a point when dealing with an addict where you have to quit enabling and let them "hit bottom."

Doodle, (((HUGS))) to you and the girls. I know it can't be easy to see them hurting and sad. :( You are right, though, their gears do switch so quickly. It might not be a bad idea to get them into counseling at some point since it sounds like they already have a tremendous amount of guilt regarding their mom--NOT abnormal for children of addicts/alcoholics.

Happy Mother's Day to you, Doodle! :) You are a great mommy to all three of the girls!

I'm saying its mentally cruel knowing it mom's day and she got herself in trouble and her own bf is not bailing her out. Which means, she' s in real bad trouble. SHe's hit rock bottom...you think she would change her ways. so close to mothers day and not behaving....
I would not be surprised if this woman killed herself.

Hugs to you doodles for being there for your girls! You are a GREAT mother!

question: how old are the girls? do they have counciling?

Good.

Of course not good that the girls were crying. But good that BMs in jail and staying there. If she won't go to rehab, jail is probably where she can do the least amount of damage to herself, the girls, or anyone else.

Just my opinion, but if she were capable of being cognizant that "hey, it's almost Mother's Day - I'd better behave." then she wouldn't be in this much mess to begin with...

"Which means, she' s in real bad trouble. SHe's hit rock bottom...you think she would change her ways. so close to mothers day and not behaving...."

first of all, no one except BM herself can say what is "rock bottom" for her. Is this it? Maybe, maybe not.

Secondly, let's say someone DID bail her out of jail. Then the whole experience might not have the CHANCE to be her rock bottom because she's been enabled once again. KWIM?

I just hope she learns....but druggies that far gone tend to kill themselves. And those girls are already saying sorry for something that is not their fault.
Very sad and heartbreaking.

"if she were capable of being cognizant that
"hey, it's almost Mother's Day - I'd better behave"
then she wouldn't be in this much mess to begin with..."

Amen.

Thanks for allthe Happy Mother's Dsy wishes. We wound up having a nice one despite all teh BM drama.

Organic-
As far as BF bailing her out. The man IS a total abusive A-hole but in this case I don't think he had the resources. He nor BM are working. They live in a cruddy travel trailer without electricity behind the mothers house. Niether of them have vehicles and they barely have food. I think it really was a monetary issue.

As far as BF's mother, I think she dislikes BM because even though her sons a total jerk he is still her baby and she knows BM is no good for him. Obviously he has issues of his own without being around another issue ridden person. Plus I think BM gave him Hepatitus which I am sure pissed her off even though it was equally her son's fault. Parents tend to see no wrong in their own children. BM could of been plundering for stuff to steal and sell as well. BM has done this to her own mother countless times which is partially why her own mom can't let her daughter live in her home.

BM's mom won't bail her out because #1 they don't have the money to do it AGAIN and #2 there would be no where for BM to stay so her best bet is to stay where she can get in the least amount of trouble. Sadly that place is jail.
She has burned all of her bridges and is to a point where she has no body to fall back on.

Keep in mind also we have only heard BM's side of the story. If we could talk to BF's mother I'm sure there would be a few details that BM "Forgot" to mention.

lovehadly-
You are totally right about the enabling thing. There has always been someone willing to go out on a limb and get her out of whatever jam she got herself in. Now that those people have all wised up she's out of resources. She is having to deal with the consequences of her actions. She road the fence without any kindof record for YEARS! Now it's all catching up to her at once. Sucks for her but it will really help J in court now that there are strikes on her record. When she finally fell off the truck it ran her over backed up and ran her over again.

KKNY-
Thanks for the heads up on the foxglove. I wonder if J realized this? I'll tell the girls not to even touch it when I get home.

Sweeby-
I think you are right that BM is so far gone that she is just not capable of making good choices. She has completely gone off her rocker. She seems at this point to be doing the total opposite of what she should do in every situation.

Bm's mother said that BM had made the comment that"when this all over with she is leaving Flroida and never going back."

I had to sortof bust grandmas bubble and tell her BM won't be able to leave state with two felonies under her belt. If she doeesn't wind up doing time she will have a parol officer asigned to her in Florida and at the very least will have some hefty communitiy service to do before she can return to Georgia. Bm won't be able to run away from this.

Her court date for the drug related felony was yesterday and I'm really curious how it turned out. To be 100% honest J and I do not want her back in Georgia. We both think she will continue to screw up if she moves back. It will just be in our backyard instead of four hours away. We have kindof liked not worrying about any of the crap showing up at our front door. There was no way for her to show up high banging on the door when she lived four hours away with out transportation. That has been nice.

If she won't go into a rehab program we would prefer her to get locked up. Sounds harsh but it would be the best thing for HER and everyone else. Maybe she could dry out in prison. Who knows.

BM - Biological Mother
BF - Boyfriend

?????

OMG...trailer park trash!!! litterly!..this is horrible....she can't bring those girls in a place , in a condition liek that! no....jail is the perfect place i'm afraid for this woman.
I wonder if you can legally adopt them????

Karma is certainly a b!tch . . . but that karma may be the best thing for her (and all of you) right now. When is J going to court?

Neesie-

You've got it right. BM is Bio mom and BF is Boy friend:)

Organic-

I know right? I don't think I could legally adopt unless she A) died or B0 agreed to forfeit all rights. A is the most likely scenario.

Justnotmartha-

J is filling out the paper work and getting the money together to turn them in. It's going to ba round about 700 bucks for the entire kitten caboodle so we are actively stock piling money. We are hoping to get the paperwork to her to sign before she gets out of jail. Now would be a great time to go to court since she is locked up.