Step Daughter's Wedding
southernsummer
9 years ago
Featured Answer
Sort by:Oldest
Comments (118)
Angel79
8 years agokmf6562
8 years agoRelated Discussions
The Step Mom / Step Daughter Dynamic
Comments (29)Dyinginside, Your husband stated that it will end in divorce because of you and his daughter. one thing: HE SHOULD NOT DEFINE HIS MARRIAGE TO YOU ON THE BASIS OF HIS DAUGHTER . PERIOD. BIg red flag here. and to top it off he's not interested in going to counciling now????? I agree with sweeby, you have leverage, use it. You are in your parents home. If your husband thinks that is where its heading and he has made the decision to not change this direction, because he's the one who can change this or at least put his foot down and say to his daughter, she is my wife i love her , stop treating her like Sh*t, then there is only two things you can do. 1. Tellhim counciling now and work it out while being at the parents house. Cause counciling does cost and financially you'ld be in better position to do this... 2. If he insists on no counciling and stays.....tell him to leave with his daughter. My feelings on this: If i were under my parents roof, in this situation and my husband said, well i've spoken to my daughter and she still doesn't like ..and i guess if that is the way its going to be between you then i guess i'll have to divorce you....I would tell him, pack your bags now and leave with your daugther please. I would tell him , i know you love me and you love your daughter but if this is the way you think then its obvious you have chosen your path and you want your daughter and there is no sharing of you between me and her. Please have a wondering life and take care of yourself and yoru daughter...Give him time to pack up and go to a relative until he cna find an apartment. WHy muddle through a situation when your husband has obviously made a decision not to act and to pick his daughter? I know you are in love with him but maybe he needs to be alone with his daughter to form a relationship with her and he can't handle the both of you.ITs sad. unless you all go to counciling i dont think this will work. You will be left alone and resent not acting faster....See Morestep mom/step daughter
Comments (3)I agree, she's a teen and she'll do it on purpose for a rise, The best thing is to ignore when she does these littel traps. Walk away and focus on the other 3. She'll also pit the other 3 kids against dad...just give them more attention when she gets into her emotional trips. Its hormone age, its testing their limits. .....and i'm sure underneath it all she is pist off her biomom is what she is. My stepdaugther has been trying this. But thank GOD my dh sees the games and sets her straight. He calls her on it immediately! He's told her in the last few months he will not tolerate games and using other people to get her way. TIs manipulative and he wont give into her if she uses underhanded tactics. So the last time she came she was very respectable. BUt its up and down wiht teens. And its normal for them to be that way. I went through it. I was not a joy for my father and my sm has the patience of a saint. So just hang in there....when she tries to start fights, call on it , head on! Tell her ...no, no...you want a fight, fight with yourself, i will not be bothered to waste my time. and walk away....See MoreWedding plans and step daughters
Comments (9)Hmmm, I was once invited to an ex-boyfriend's wedding and I attended. The bride threw the bouquet at me! For my part, at the time, I saw my ex-boyfriend as a friend only and I think that was part of why he invited me was to show his wife to be and the world that's where things stood. It made her uncomfortable and then she threw the bouquet at me! They did ultimately divorce but that's another story. I think when people no longer matter to you, then they really don't matter in the same way. Why be threatened? On the kids participating, why bother? One caveat, last Thanksgiving, we went to SD35's home for dinner. She invited her mother as well, BM. I have no axe to grind with her and wanted to attend the dinner. Long story short, it was weird, she would talk to DH and then drift off when I showed up. So unnecessary as I am not worried that way. I doubt that I will attend anything else like that with her there, not because I am worried about her, but because she has her own mixed feelings. My adult skids did not attend my wedding to their father or the reception which hurt my feelings and that I never forgot. Keep it simple for yourself. Just invite them but don't put them in to the mix of the wedding. That will probably be more comfortable for everyone involved especially you....See MoreVenting and disengaging
Comments (10)I'm sorry. When I was a small boomer, my father & his siblings & their spouses were, like the rest of the country, completely intoxicated with the post-war "good life". Like so many others of that era, they were the first ones in their families to have "real" jobs, as opposed to working on the family farm, so they had disposable income for the first time. We were the first generation to receive "store-bought" Christmas presents or to receive cash. There were an even dozen siblings. Add spouses & children, & Christmas became just hugely unmanageable, so the 12 of them (or 24, depending on who you count) decided to change how they "did" Christmas. They all contributed to a gift for Mama & Papa (their parents/my grandparents); the 2 things I remember were a television one year & a frostfree (woohoo!) fridge one year. Then they put each grandchild's name in a hat & drew names. They had some formula to determine how many names you drew; maybe people with 4 kids drew 4 names, but then my Uncle John drew my name, & he didn't have a wife or child... However they did it, every child got 1 present at Mama & Papa's Christmas party. The siblings did not exchange presents, & Mama & Papa... well, they gave their grandchildren something, but it was usually homemade & modest, & it didn't cost a dime, having been made with Papa's tools or with Mama's needle. & *Mama & Papa didn't buy presents for their grown children*. I don't know how my father & his 11 siblings, who very seldom agreed on anything, managed to plan, agree on, & implement this very reasonable sysem, but I still think, more than 50 years later, that it was a good plan. The part that relates to your situation is that the grandparents didn't buy their children presents. Wanting to retire within a few years isn't something disgraceful that you need to feel ashamed of, something that you should be embarrassed to tell your kids. Tell them. Tell them that you've reached the stage of your life in which you have *got* to budget your money to keep from going broke & having to move in with one of them. (That oughtta give 'em a few days' worth of thought...) & then tell them what your budget is for Christmas, & ask if they'd rather have a ham or $40. The difference you have here may be your husband's reluctance to give up his "breadwinner" identity & embrace an "elder" of the family identity. He isn't the head of a nuclear family any more; his children are. They're the ones who should be spending more on other people than other people are spending on them....See MoreSouthern Summer
8 years agokmf6562
8 years agoUser
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agokmf6562
8 years agoKim Aves
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agocolleenoz
8 years agocolleenoz
8 years agotete_a_tete
8 years agoemma1420
8 years agoSouthern Summer
8 years agokmf6562
8 years agoSouthern Summer
8 years agoUser
8 years agokristine_charrier2013
8 years agoSouthern Summer
8 years agokate1041
8 years agoSouthern Summer
8 years agokwagon
8 years agoSouthern Summer
8 years agoSouthern Summer
6 years agoluciacamara55
6 years agoKim Aves
6 years agoKim Aves
6 years agoSara Tilmont
6 years agoKim Aves
6 years agoSara Tilmont
6 years agoluciacamara55
6 years agoKaren Peltier
6 years agoSara Tilmont
5 years agoSara Tilmont
5 years agoAnne
5 years agoV.
5 years agolast modified: 5 years agoKaren Peltier
5 years agolast modified: 5 years agoretiredusafrn
5 years agoSouthern Summer
5 years agoHU-471499203
5 years agoDixie Cousins
4 years agoSouthern Summer
4 years agodotz_gw
4 years agoSouthern Summer
4 years agodotz_gw
4 years agoKaren Peltier
4 years agoSouthern Summer
4 years agoKaren Peltier
4 years agolast modified: 4 years agoSouthern Summer
4 years agoKaren Peltier
4 years agolast modified: 4 years agodotz_gw
4 years agoSouthern Summer
4 years ago
Related Stories
WEDDINGSHouzz Call: Show Us Your Backyard Wedding!
Did you say ‘I do’ at home? We want to hear and see everything about it. Share your photos and you could be featured in an upcoming ideabook
Full StoryWEDDINGSHow One Couple Got a Perfectly Intimate Backyard Wedding
Vintage pieces, natural materials and close family and friends are an ideal combination for a Pittsburgh couple
Full StoryLIFE10 Steps for Saying Goodbye to Sentimental Objects
Are keepsakes cluttering your space and your life? Consider this approach for letting go and moving on
Full StoryMOST POPULAROrganizing? Don’t Forget the Essential First Step
Simplify the process of getting your home in order by taking it one step at a time. Here’s how to get on the right path
Full StoryBEDROOMS14 Steps to a Perfectly Polished Bedroom
Go from procrastination to gorgeous presentation with our bedroom decorating guide that covers all the details
Full StoryREMODELING GUIDES6 Steps to Planning a Successful Building Project
Put in time on the front end to ensure that your home will match your vision in the end
Full StoryDECORATING STYLESGypsy in Your Soul: 10 Steps to a Bohemian Bedroom
If your inner boho is clamoring to be released, feed your fantasies in a gorgeously unconventional bedroom
Full StoryTRADITIONAL HOMESMy Houzz: Step Inside a Grand 1800s Victorian
A 7,000-square-foot historic estate returns to glory, thanks to loving renovations by a tireless Texas couple
Full StoryBATHROOM WORKBOOKA Step-by-Step Guide to Designing Your Bathroom Vanity
Here are six decisions to make with your pro to get the best vanity layout, look and features for your needs
Full StoryWEDDINGSSeattle Couple Restyles Their Home for a Wedding
Duo behind Reinspired Home invest in their house rather than a rented wedding venue
Full StorySponsored
More Discussions
ldvilen100