You are beating yourself , you know that eh?
I've worked in hospitals since i was 19 years old. Your condition is a serious one. I know many people who were advised by their physicians to make a move like you just said. i know my own cousin is living their now because of her arthritis. And yes, she would have been ina wheel chair if she stayed.
Listen. your daughter understands. You have kept a great relationship with her regardless of the distance. She came to try and was miserable...she does love you.SHe knows you love her...
Would you honestly have stayed and then passed away and then your daughter would have neverhad those conversations with you at all?
You sister can stuff it..sorry....when someone is in such pain, your mind is nto their , you can' function. Its not a life!
You are fine stayihng where you and continue to keep in touch with your daughter and pay for as many flights for her to come donw throughout the year. Invite her and her friends to come down. mini vacations.
You never know! she may find someone near you and move down in 2 years! For now shes at this age she wants her friends and she needs to balance her friends and you in her life. She understands that you cannot physically doit.
Please stop beating yourself. You are not a deadbeatparent. You didn't reject your child. She also could not live under the conditions you had to. You did what was best for her and she honestly sounds well balanced.
Do you have a webcam on your computer???? skype??? its great and fun! you can see your daughter while talking..i think its the coolest thing.
My family is also far away andi dont get to see my twin and i think having that just brings us closer!
You are doing a great job keeping in touch. Calling and talking for 3 hours! omg...i can imagine your phone bills!
You are a person....loving mom...she knows it.....dont knock yourself.

Please dont beat yourself, you are doing the best you can. Organic has a great idea with the webcam. If you don't know how to set one up, call up the local center for aging or high school. Your D will be going off to college soon, and we all have to accept that our kids will fly the coop.

My prayers are with you.

Sure, it's possible to take these facts and twist them into something ugly.
And there will be people you meet in life who are inclined to do that --
sadly, it seems your sister may be one of them.

But it sounds like you've taken lemons and made lemonade --
that both you and your daughter are thriving, and
that your relationship is strong and close.

All in all, that's really a pretty good situation.

Thank you ladies.....I do feel better......

Think it's time to call my girl...

Have a wonderful day!

Your story sounds strikingly similar to closetdiva's post on the marriage forum. Are you the same poster.....just using a new name you made today? If so then people here are not getting the full picture.

Here is the link:
http://ths.gardenweb.com/forums/load/marriage/msg052018085783.html?11

I am also thinking it is the same person. Which means that the advice would probably also be different in this situation based on more background information. Everyone who commented should wander on over to the marriage forum and see if they have anything else they want to add.

well according to her post (and yes it is her) on marriage forum she is on her 3rd marriage, every man in her life was and is absuive. She either leaves her children behind as she did wiht her daughter or draggs them into her bad relationships with men like she did with her son. third husband mistreates her son and she is asking people if she should stand by her son even if it upsets her husband. Huh?

knowing background i would probably give advice like soemone else did on that forum: stop chasing men and hurting your children. i sympthize wiht Lupus but I have no sympathy for people subjecting their children to abuse.

Read the other post, yeah, it does sound similar, but I don't think it would change the advice she has gotten here.
She moved because she was sick and advised by her Dr.'s.
Her dd is being taken care of by the dad now, and it seems to be working out. Although some of mom's guilt may stem from the abuse dd received in the previous marriage. But that is still neither here nor there. Guilt is guilt and no one gains anything from beating themselves up for it, if they have done what they can to remedy the reason for the guilt. Which this poster did by leaving and divorcing that husband.
This post seems to be about the dd and her mom, so no, I don't see that any advice should be altered. JMO.

I was thinking this post sounded similar as well, I just couldn't remember where I read it.

What's wrong with Eastern Washington, if I may ask? It's pretty hot and dry, from what I remember.

I think, if we put aside the possibility that these posters are the same... that you are doing the right thing for your daughter.

If you are the same person as closetdiva, you now need to do the right thing for your son.

~Silver

I just wanted people to get the full picture. I am sure the guilt stems from the abuse her dd received from moms ex hubby. Then soon after the abuse mom moves out of state and has to leave dd with her dad. I am glad to hear that she is doing her best to have a great relationship with her daughter. And if what she is saying is true it does sound like she is doing a good job.

Now the issue at hand is her sister and son. I imagine that her sister does not talk to her much because of her poor marriage patterns that leave her children hurt. From the other post I see her son as being mistreated and I really think that he is being done a disservice by her staying in that relationship.

Kids only get one childhood. If it is ruined there is no going back. Nothing can make up for it.