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Confused.

Posted by MrsProffit25 (My Page) on
Sat, May 28, 11 at 1:27

BM sent dh a text today that monday is a holiday and she gets sd on all holidays. This is not mentioned in the court order. Attorney says she suggest we let her have her... Then why are we fighting in court? Im wondering how good this attorney really is.. BM is getting everything she wants - so why are we paying this lady... Why should we let her go if its not her day... I undertsand encourage visitation thats why DH let BM have her last monday because she couldnt get her last tue.. so this week she will have her sat sun mon and tue...


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Confused.

Holidays should have been part of the 'plan' if there were a chance the events would cause problems. If there is nothing in the plan, why is BM under the impression that she gets all holidays?

If I recall correctly, Dad had SD on Easter though it was to be BM's day. Next up is Memorial Day. BM has SD the Saturday through Sunday evening as part of her scheduled visitation this week. She's not leaving her BM's until this evening and returning to spend Sunday evening with Dad. She also has SD for the 4 to 7 on this Tuesday. If she wants SD on Monday Dad can be stubborn and say 'heck no' or he can compromise and appear flexible and willing to work with BM and the parts that have been omitted from plan. Maybe he wants to offer her part of the day...something like the 4 to 7 scheduled for Tuesday.

Is this a repeat of the last holiday where BM is planning to take SD to the sex offenders an hour away? I'd be should if Dad arranges to 'share' on this holiday that he knows what her plans for the day are...otherwise you'll be back stating you or Dad had to go to supervise too.

I did not think the goal behind the new BM visitation was to 'fight' to keep Sd home and away from BM as much as posible? I was under the impression that she approached the court asking for additional time with her daughter and it was granted. You're going to hit rough waters is the goal instead is to try and keep SD from her mother in a uncompromising 'why the heck should I' way. If it appears that is the case, she just might 'win' additional time beyond what she is now granted and it could be far more than a handful of hours on holidays.

Looking at a calendar Father's Day is set to be BM's Sunday visitation. Perhaps Dad would like to attempt to work out a trade...Memorial Day for Father's Day. If he does and she agrees be sure to record it as a mutual decision to trade.

Basically BM has no 'right' to SD this Monday and court plan does not state BM has all holidays. Dad can start by politely stating the plan does not grant her all holidays but he is willing to discuss a mutual arrangement for this event . Actually once again looking at calendar, 4th of July and then Labor Day are also Mondays. Next up would be Thanksgiving, a nonscheduled day for BM. Do you think the court will view it the best interest in building a relationship with BM between BM and SD is to cut her out of the family events most parents have had enough sense to enter in their court ordered plans?


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RE: Confused.

I wonder if looking for another attorney would be best?

I think she should not get her for the holiday since she is only on a 1 overnight every other weekend plan, not 2 and not 3.

In my order, who ever has the weekend gets the Monday holiday.
Like I have memorial day but BD gets Labor Day because it's my weekend and then that is his weekend. We don't alternate holidays except for thanksgiving and Christmas. I know some people do have it written in the order that they alternate Easter, memorial day, July 4 and labor day. But if it doesn't say in your order that she gets all holidays, I would not give it to her. Doesn't she bring her home on Sunday nights? The only reason my ex gets Monday holidays is because he returns dd to school on Monday's so he Would keep her until Tuesday.


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RE: Confused.

EXACTLY!! and there is always something!! DH told her she can get her mon at 11... SHE CAN GET HER.. I or DH will not offer to drive thats rediculous... in exchange for fathers day which is after court and he would get it either way but still...She agreed but RIGHT NOW is in the process of begging for SD to stay sunday night... dh does not feel well about that at all!!! He just wrote her "I dont even have to let her go monday! If you want to pick her up then email me so I have the exchange for my records. If you dont email them I will assume she is staying home" She claims to not have internet but her fb is updated almost daily - she can update then she can email his fb...


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RE: Confused.

does DH finally has a court order? and if he does, does he fully understand what's in there?

it seems like every time he is shocked that something is in a court order (like he had no clue on transportation).

I think he needs to sit down with attorney and go over the CO.

if he had her on Easter why not give her to mom on Memorial Day?


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RE: Confused.

he is letting her go on mon.. but he wont let stay the night so now bm is mad either way... the co says nothing about holidays


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RE: Confused.

why didn't both parents talk to their attorneys about putting something there about holidays so they don't have to argue over it? why everything is a surprise, didn't they discuss what goes into CO, didn't they sign? These two are two clueless parents...


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RE: Confused.

The compromise with BM having part of Monday was fine. No problem with BM doing the transport. DH might have to transport on scheduled visitation days but not on extras. She wants SD she can come get her...DH 'gave' his share by agreeing to the extra visit inwhich he did not have to do.

I'd say NO to Sunday evening. If nothing else it gives her a chance to come home and see her family and it rather puts a limit out as to how much and to what extent DH will and will not accept. Memorial Day offer was nice and generous...Sunday night is BM pushing that gesture.

If he gives too much and/or too often BM will come to demand even more and learn to expect it. Then when she is told 'no', she's get nasty over it. Compromising and occassionaly working out things to fit wants/needs of opposite household is one thing...taking advantage of a court order is quite another.

I was under the impression that this longer visitation order was on trial basis to see how it goes and if BM was ready and able to spend more time with her daughter. This little girl was taken away from BM for a reason...you don't want to rush a trial basis and be too 'giving' until things become smooth and BM proves she can handle additional time and or extra none order visits.


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RE: Confused.

I'd say no to Sunday too because she isn't allowed more than 1 night at a time right now. If you show that you are ok w her having sd more than they could up her overnights faster which I don't recommend. We went through this and it moved too fast.

How will you get her back on Sunday?


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RE: Confused.

sunday is our transportation day so we will pick her up at the usual 7. We didnt discuss holidays because A) we already made the agreement in court to start off with a weekend that was not overnight because it was easter - that way we had her untill 8 but then the whole sex offender visit boshed that.. and b)other than easter it was only mothers day which was on a sunday anyways. there was no need to to discuss it because (of course we forgot about memorial day) we go back to court june 3rd. We did not give the ok for an overnight and so did our attorney and even if she said to allow it i would have fired her lol... but she said this is a workable situation and i guess being an ex family judge she really wants whats best not just what WE want which in the long run IS whats best... SD should always be put first not our dislike for BM. which admittingly is hard at times. But i do believe we had ALOT of good reasons for not allowing the extra overnight and yes one is because we know the judge will think since we are ok with it then up the overnights!!! and we are NOT ok with it..


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RE: Confused.

So BM arrived 40 min early.. My friend and I were sitting in the drive way (its a big area it holds about 6 cars.) and had the babies riding thier bikes/ride on toys and the bigger kids including sd were playing around on the side of the house (which is actually our back yard) 7 kids total lol.. well she walked up and just stood there... sd hadn't seen her and her other dd (2) screamed untill she made her way out of the stroller and started playing with the babies, of course i didnt care shes a kid let her play untill 11 when its time for sd to go.. well BM stood there for like 10 min finally said is __ ready i looked at my phone and said its only 10:30 (remember the big deal she thru when i was 30 min late AND she knew ahead of time..)
"well i have to catch my bus! The bus stop is literally in front of my house... i said well DH told me 11 and im not getting in the middle - at 11 i will call her out."well how would he even know?!" ya cause when he asks me when did bm get here im going to lie to him -NO! she started texting like crazy - turns out she was texting DH. finally she said he said she can go - well i called him and he laughed and said ya she can go - by this point it was only 20 min early to us really no big deal... SD took her time saying bye to everyone and put her toys away - they made the bus of course. it was just odd she literally just stood there - she must have felt awkward but if you KNEW the bus got here at 10:30 why didnt she tell dh instead of saying 11.... w/e lol but last night when dh picked up dd - he said BM wasnt even outside but dd got in the car and said mommy wanted me to ask why i cant spend the night and if i can spend the night tomorrow (today - so she could take her to school tue morn) why put dd in the middle? that made him upset - that should be between dh and bm...


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RE: Confused.

You are right, that put sd in the middle of bm and Dh and BM should know better. Any parent should know better.

I think you should have let her go if she showed up 30 minutes early and all you were doing was casually hanging out with friend, watching the kids play. No! She shouldn't just show up 30 minutes early but get her out of your hair and send sd on her way. I'm sure that is why DH was laughing because it's kind of ridiculous. She shouldn't have come early but she rides a bus and honestly I've never had to ride public transportation in order to get somewhere on time, (we don't have buses in our rural area) but I'm willing to bet if I did have to ride a bus I would arrive everywhere early to make sure I didn't miss my bus or catch the wrong bus.

I think the best thing to say to SD (Dh to say to sd) is that the reason she can't stay with mommy tonight is because the judge is still working out all of the details. She is old enough and probably KNOWS that you guys are fighting in court. Use it to your advantage. Just let her know that it's not your (Dh) decision and that you would love to let her spend
More time with mommy but right now, this schedule is what is best for the entire family.

And I promise you that If you change the schedule by allowing an extra night or an additional day during school week, the judge will applaud you for being so willing to work with BM but all of your other concerns will be out the window. I think this is where I made my mistake. I was trying to be the better person by understanding that dd wanted to be with BD more and BD was asking for more, so I thought I was doing the right thing by saying 'ok' but in the end, bd ended up with more time and now I think it's the worst thing that could have ever happened. But because I was giving him more time, they thought I was ok with it and must not have a problem.

On another note, letting BM take SD 30 minutes early for a visit isn't going to send the wrong message to the judge. Making her stand on your driveway while her younger dd fights and screams to get out of her stroller for 30 minutes because she didn't 'ask' if she can show up from the bus 30 minutes earlier... I think you have to just use common sense.

If you weren't home, if you were in the middle of an activity, if you were bathing SD, or getting her stuff ready, I would expect BM to sit outside and wait but you were hanging out with a friend while the kids were playing, no biggie. Let her go. This isn't towards you mrsP but if I as the biological mother of my child, no matter what my past is/was or what I've done (remember my ex says I'm a bad mom so I'm likely in the same shoes as SDs Bm) if my daughter's stepmom refused me to pick up my daughter after I had just rode a bus across town with my screaming toddler and not only was I on time but I was early (not late like SM was the week before) I would be absolutely livid and I would use things
Like this to get custody of my daughter back. That is just my
Opinion of course.


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RE: Confused.

pick your battles....

Maybe holiday bus schedule is different than "normal" days.... personally I would have called the kid myself and said lets go ... we have to catch a bus get your stuff say bye to SM and be on our merry way ... she may have flipped because you were late so was this "payback" making her wait some more ...

You put yourself in the middle when you didn't pick up the phone call hubby and say hey BM is already here, is it ok if SD goes now?

Common courtesy ... maybe she doesn't deserve it but it should be offered.

I hate waiting ... I hate when BM has to wait for her kids ... she calls several times to let them know she is on her way and they still make her wait 5 to 20 minutes while they gather their things drives me nuts ... we live less than a mile from BM if it were me they would walk ... I was there you weren't ready dinners at 5 see you then (click)


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RE: Confused.

The early was no biggie, but people who expect 'early' should not be calling a million times sounding ridiculous false alarms when Dad brings SD a few minutes late.

All the attempt to make up the 'lost' minutes last week just flew out the window as BM shows up early and expected to take her without problem.

Seriously, once the two realize how silly the 20-30 minute thing is they will learn to knock it off and be sensible. So all BM had to do was text Dad and say 'bus runs at 10:30 am I will need to get her by then, ok?'...same as the goofy Sunday morning last week. BM knew you were coming and running late and why.

Yeah, I get it was nervy to show up early after the previous 'show' last weekend...but you did good by staying out of the middle. Make the two of them work this little annoying stuff out.

Wanting to leave a few minutes early with SD is nothing to get upset about or make a issue over...but then you expect the same consideration granted you when it is you dropping SD off a few minutes late.


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RE: Confused.

so she showed up 30 minutes early...unless you weren't home or were busy what is the issue here? of course DH laughed, it is just funny. really, 30 minutes? letting SD go or calling dad would not be a big deal, it would be common sense but making decision to make mom stand there is actually putting yourself right there in the middle of it right into a power struggle.

If mom was unfit, she wouldn't be allowed to pick SD up at all, she deemed to be fit enough by a judge so i don't see a need to have such bad attitude about her. She rode a bus with a toddler, got there early, who cares.

Same as myfampg I'd be hurt and probably address it in court next time if I rode a bus with a toddler exhausted stood there and would not be allowed to pick DD up.


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RE: Confused.

Like i said i wasnt going to get in the middle - i am not SD mom... BM knew she was right around the cornor (5feetaway) all she would of had to do was call her name.. but i wasnt going to. I couldnt have stopped her either. it really was no big deal its just she is so dang rude about everything. she called DH a d*ck because first he said no to monday... then he said ok and now he is ad*ck because sd cant spend the night sun night.. now he is a d*ck because she cant spend the night tonight... gees...


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RE: Confused.

She sounds like my ss bm.... nothing will ever be right unless she gets her way.


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RE: Confused.

--" I'd be hurt and probably address it in court next time if I rode a bus with a toddler exhausted stood there and would not be allowed to pick DD up".--

Except this is a totally extra day, non court ordered that BM requested and Dad allowed after trading for Father's Day Sunday. It would not be out of line to think if one is showing up early that they pre-call. What if family was not home...BM was not yet expected.

It would not have hurt Mrs. P to offer BM a chair to wait a few minutes. I'd think Mrs. P would call SD over and SD know she'd be leaving soon, get her bag (if one) and check for washing up as she'd been out playing. When someone tells me they will be there at 11am, I might still be on my way home from running errands at 10:30.

Who cares if BM called Dad a *ick? So what? Dad's not the one who lost custody, disappeared and then showed back up and asked the court for additional visitation. Court gave her x and x... let BM call court a *ick. Dad has been working with BM as to visitations, a bit extra now/make-ups and doing some compromising/trading. Considering this mother went from like 6 hours a week to much more including an overnight, I'd think she be grateful the court has given her what they did and that Dad has been willing to work with her instead of immediately pushing for additionals. Calling him names is not going to make Dad feel open to mutual agreements/compromises. And putting the child up to doing the asking is just wrong. Also demanding and whining about more is not going to show the court she is ready to respect court plans.

Next time Mrs. P you might try being kind and offer a seat while you gather up SD... you don't have to visit or anything other than the polite mature 'oh, I'll get SD and have her get ready, you're early'. Then do so and leave her there sitting. While you don't have to be friends as long as she must come to your home and pick SD up there is no need to be down right rude either. BM likely stood there this time because she did not know quite what to do. She could not just stomp up, call daughter and walk away. For one it was not 'her time' yet and two she probably felt ackward with you having a back up friend and being on your 'turf' so to say. She did not know what to expect.


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RE: Confused.

I agree with what jmt said. I'm sure she felt awkward picking up sd on your "turf" and having a friend there might have also been really awkward for her.

Just out of curiosity what would you have liked her to do? I'm just curious because like I said I learn from these situations. I wouldn't have expected her to call out to sd. I would have called sd if I were you and said "your mom ishere time to go". But that might have been all I had done. If you give her the impression that you expect her to go in your side/back yard to get sd then that might be opening doors for her to just take sd without your knowledge. We are talking about a woman with no real common sense. You don't want to be giving her free run of the place.


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RE: Confused.

oh absolutly - i dont know what I wanted her to actually.. I mean she could have contacted DH maybe... or even texted my phone... what if i was out... she knows the bus schedule by heart - its her only means of transportation on a regular basis. she could mentioned that when dh said 11...I thought i already posted this but i guess it didnt go throu - bm actually dropped sd off 30 min early. which was a shock and pretty nice. her mother drove and my neighbor was trying to pull out but they blocked her in so she went out to ask them to back up a bit (not knowing who it was) and saw sd and bm and grandma... she brought SD to my door and told me that she saw the 2 yr old in the back seat without a car seat and not buckled in.... could you imagin if there were to have been an accident or something....


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RE: Confused.

Oh Lordy here we go. Yes I can imagine -- wait a minute -- your neighbor brought SD to the door? Lol what a situation ... BM needs to walk her little booty up to the door and ring the bell and hand sd over to the adult who answers UNLESS there are chances of an arguement.

Does BM have email? If I'm right in how I am reading this, I would suggest DH (not you) send a quick email and just say 'hey I know that sometimes it might be 30 min early when you pick up or drop off early and that's ok just please let us know so we can make sure we are around. We don't want you or sd to have to wait. It's not a problem but just let me know by text. Also, when you bring sd home, just to insure her safety walking to and from the car, can you just bring her to the door next time? If you would prefer not to come to the door, can you just send me a quick text to let me know you are 5 min out and that way I can be waiting?'

Dont make it accusatory or demanding-- very polite. This is a good way to communicate what you want and if you give a little of kindness by saying 30 min isn't a big deal 'with notice' then I bet she'll do as you ask.

Now in my situation BD refuses to come to my door. I'm not sure what your home looks like but my door faces the street and in between my walkway and the door is the front yard next to the driveway-- so if BD pulls up to the curb, dd can get out and walk up the drive with no safety issues and I can see him pull up from the front window. He asked that he not be asked to walk dd to the door because he didn't want a confrontation. I respect that, but when he was bringing her home, 30 minutes to an hour early with no notice, I had to start making sure I was home within an hour of their arrival and instead if waiting at the door for an hour, I would just unlock the door for that short period of time. Now my lawyer did not like that. He said BD needs to come to the door and make sure that dd was walking into a safe home, with adults present.. His argument was, what if he dropped off dd and for some reason I had left the door unlocked but I wasn't actually home-- then bd drives away and dd is left with no phone, no clue where anyone is and possibly in a dark house since it was night when he brought her home, who would be responsible then? But the judge was ok with him dropping her at the curb and ringing the door bell, then bd could drive away when he saw me open the door.
My dd is older than your sd so I really believe her mother should walk her to the door on the rare occasion that she drops her off.

I really think what you are dealing with is a very young, intimidated mom. I know you are young too but I don't mean this as just an age thing. I think she sounds like she just doesn't know how to react to this situation, like she doesn't know what to do. I dont know what it's like to have another woman raising my daughter or to have another woman know more about my daughter than I do or to have another woman be the primary caretaker for my daughter but I'm willing to bet, it's just awkward for her to come to your house. By her being early both times, it sounds like to me she is being hyper sensitive to being on time. Maybe she is worried to be even 5 minutes late and is being that way because of how she acted when you were late. She can't point fingers at you or your Dh about being late if she is even 5 minutes late. I'd much rather someone be early than late. Even if it puts me in a rush to get things together or to be prepared myself. Maybe with it being the first time that she is picking up and dropping off she just wanted to do it perfect and perfect got her there early. She still should have let you know she was coming early but I actually would only really complain if she were late.

I think her freaking out and sending texts and calling DH has to do with her age. She hasn't learned to calm herself and she's impulsive. I use to suffer from impulsive disorder. I'm not kidding. My therapist diagnosed me with it several years ago because I never thought before I exploded to BD and SM and I would yell, throw a temper tantrum or send a nasty email immediately before thinking it through and calming my nerves. Got me in to a lot of trouble and I was 26 years old. I hear some of these things she does like with the texts and calls and I remember being that way. I would never have known or stopped it without therapy. She may not ever change with age but hopefully as she gets older, she will calm down and your life will get easier because you both will grow and learn to deal with each other. I say that but on the other hand dd's SM is pushing 50 and age has done nothing for her behavior.


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RE: Confused.

well i know i do things without thinking and after im like DANG IT lol i do it alot but since i am keeping my distance it hasnt happened. BUT i do know if was a face to face altercation i wouldnt be able to control my mouth... i see her and my adrenaline starts pumping.. seriously.. i know i will probabaly get bad responces but its just honest... both times i was pregnant i had to make sure i never even was around for drop off or pick up because my blood pressure would rise and i would start having contractions. I had to go to the hospital many times before i figured out why this was happening. when BM only had for 3 hours we would all (me dh and all 3 girls) go to drop off sd and just hang out at the mall and let my dd play in the inside park to saave gas and time. by the time we would have gotten home an hr later we would have to leave again to pick her up.. for the first 2 years my dad did the transportation with dh because BM family is so violent and DH also couldnt hold himself down...My dads presence just kept it calm most of the time. One of the times i did go i was in the back seat (we were going out to dinner afterwards in that area thats why i went) BM Grandmother tried to get into the car! tried to open my door - my dad grabbed the door, closed it and just looked at her and said I dont think so... not yell just stern,, and she backed off... the first 7 months we had to video tape all transactions of sd thats how bad it was. even the police did a "stake out" of my parents house while BM and her mother dropped of sd because BM and her mother would literally beat on DH... yes beat... did anuthing happen?? no because BM mom said DH hit her AND HE DIDNT!! so we video tapped. Once BM mother was trespassed of my parents property and the next day came to my parents house and we video tapped!!! did anything happen? no .... wow i got off track.. but to clerify - BM for 3 years up untill this past april never knew where we lived be cause thats just how crazy her and her family are. BM's SD threatened to castrate my DH - on video tape too and no they didnt know they were being taped i was in the window behind a tree... Once - when BM finally saw my video tapping - she yelled to the cam ' SHE IS MY DAUGHTER SHE CAME OUT OF MY COOCH SO KISS MY A** and flipped it off.. they were all used in court. This was all recommended by both police and old lawyer. She has toned down a bit because she knows we are here to stay w/sd.. we will not dump her off because of baby momma drama... gees so off track... reminder this was in march of 2008 to awhile ago... anywho she dropped her offearly because DH told her it would be curtious to drop her off at 6:30 rather than 7 since she picked her up at 10:30 rather than 11.. I guess he thought he would just give it a shot and see if she would. It was nice 30 min doesnt sound like alot but 8pm is her bed time she got an hr and half to play with her sisters and her friends.. DD missed her alot..


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RE: Confused.

Well, if it was a free-for-all the last time pickups and dropoffs occurred, no wonder BM just stood there now. She did not have a clue what to exact nor how to how herself, what would be acceptable and what might set you and your friend off or you two do that might set her off.

So why not clarify ground rules at this next hearing? Perhaps a neutral place for exchanges might work best for both parties? If not neutral then the actual homes have set guidelines. Maybe a quick text of 'We're here' and the one stands x amount of feet from doorway (on sidewalk boundary maybe) and the other stand at frontdoor. Everyone could watch the safe exchange without face to face confrontations or exchange of face to face words. The child is six, she can walk 15 or twenty feet by herself...two adults are standing on each end observing and assuring safety.

Perhaps guidelines could even clarify if other people can be in immediate area during exchange. I'd not want Gma BM around outside of the car if there's a chance she'd kick my butt...nor would I want SM/Dad to have a 'back-up' that might leap out from behind a tree and thump on me.

For one, noone should want this little girl witnessing confrontations. Noone should want SD to think everybody hates each other and this is a 'bad' thing (visitations). This little girl has to do these visits and so far actually seems to want to do the visits with her mother. All the drama going on with the adults should not affect the child nor set the tone for her visitation period. I can't imagine it'd be a good thing for SD to feel she was doing something wrong because it was time to go visit the other parent. She's six, she can't mentally sort and understand out all the drama surrounding the adults, and she should not have to.


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RE: Confused.

we (dh and i) do not behave this way and deff not infront of sd. SD think me and BM are friends and dh also... she does say that BM talks bad about me. and she is not allowed to mention my name in her home but on our side its not like that. we did do sunday exchanges at the police station. sunday was her transportation day because my parents also just got fed up with BM mom and gma. Grandma HAD to be there she was court ordered to surpervise the visits.. of course she was only there for pick up and drop off im sure so.. oh well... SD has been giving me major attitude!! i finally had it today - i told her the next time she talks to me like she will get it... maybe it will be enough to make her think twice... she deff gets that from her bm - i can so see it with how she bobs her head back and forth with attitude lol she thru a fit today because i had her wear her play shoes to school - they matched her outfit better anyways! THERE TOO TIGHT so i showed her the size and the size of her sketchers and her play shoes are a size bigger!! she just wanted to wear her sketchers... i am not a morning person by far and attitude in the morning grrr lol I had a dream BM didnt show up today to get sd from school... BM has met this friend before - they have talked many times because SD goes to her house all the time and her daughters are sd bff's. but also just becaus bm is coming over doesnt mean i shouldnt take my kids outside to play. this friend is my neighbor all the kids are friends she has a 2 yr old as well so its just like one big happy family. BM never walks sd to the door i guess she walks her to the fence line which is like 7 feet away and i dont feel its a big deal its right there and yes she prob should text but idk, when we do drop off we wait for bm to step out side and then sd can get out of the car. another short story - sept of 2010 dh and i got married - dh was at work so i had to drop off sd.. BM wasnt home yet but her gma was.. Gma walked around my car and did circles around it for 20 min untill bm got there (just married stuff on my car) i seriously was just thinking to myself what a crazy crazy crazy lady...


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RE: Confused.

No one said you can't sit outside pre-expectation time nor that a friend could not be with you pre-expectation time. But if it makes exchanges easier for child, would it hurt you a single little bit to ask GF to run inside for a few minutes? No. If Dad is sitting outside with all the kids and the text comes 'here I come, be there in five', would it hurt for you or others to get up and walk inside? No.

Is this the same GF/neighbor that was calling and fighting with BM a couple weeks ago?

This is not about you or your 'rights' to have friends or sit out in your driveway/yard...this is about a simple five minute exchange of a little girl.

One of the 'reasons' you listed last week on the going to run late Sunday thing was you could not take Dad to work early as you had two other children that would have to get up early. So what?

You need to realize that your car situation and the fact that you have other children in your home is not the court's problem...it's yours. Why should a court care if you have one vehicle or have two other children that you don't want to get up an hour early? This court/plan should reflect this child (SD)...it does not have to take into consideration it's what you want and/or works for everybody else in household. You could have ten other children in the household, court does not have to take their likes and preferences or sleep habits into thought as the plan is ordered.

Really no different than with the thread on Myfam wanting to move 55 miles. I'm sure that Dad/SM is not going to like it and it may indeed inconvience them on pick-up/drop off. So what. That thread's Dad/SM can obey parenting plan/orders or they can waive that visit on that evening if that Dad does not want to bother himself. Same as Mrs. P in her situation...Mrs. P could get babies up early and meet order guidelines just like ExMyfam could 'get over' the fact he has to drive an extra 50ish miles. Face it, life especially ones with court orders in it, is not always 'fair' to everybody's individual thinking nor turns out exactly the way we 'want' it to concerning every last person in a household. Life can suck, we learn to deal with it.


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