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I know I shouldn't feel this way.....

Posted by incognitomom (My Page) on
Sun, Apr 24, 11 at 23:09

But I do! Today we visited dh's family for Easter. Older sd spent the night there because she is babysitting tomorrow for a relative.

Dh, me, younger sd, ss, and ds all got home. BM called (1st time in 2 months!). The kids talk to bm's parents almost weekly so they know all about activities, reportcards, and current stuff. Apparently bm has spoken to them because she was asking the kids about that stuff. SS was on the phone with her and asking us when his games are because she has a sudden interest in attending. Uggh!

Older sd was not home so she did not talk to bm.

Then younger sd talks to bm (this is the same girl who has been mad at bm for months and refused to talk to her). She thought she was getting on the phone with her younger siblings because ss was talking to them. But then I guess bm got on quickly. SD talked to bm for 30 minutes and was all giggles and smiles.

She got off the phone and everything was "bm said this" and "bm said that". A little while later I hear sd singing the praises of bm to ss and telling him how bm said she is going to come to his next games, etc.

It just bothers me! BM ignores the kids for months and then makes a holiday call and gets their hopes up again. I HATE it!!! I HATE that she gets to ignore the kids and then get a happy phone call with them and can go on pretending everything is fine and make herself think she is being a good mom.

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: I know I shouldn't feel this way.....

I am so sorry you have to deal with this, and it is very normal for you to feel this way. It is not kids fault though, but BM's. Poor kids. They are lucky they have you and dad, when they are older they will know who is their true mother-you.

RE: I know I shouldn't feel this way.....

I am sorry for you. I know it's frustrating. They obviously have hope that one day a light will switch on and BM will be the mom they were supposed to get the day they were born. I forget, how old is younger sd?

Maybe since it was a holiday and BM might have spent time with her parents, maybe they encouraged her to contact and so she is stepping up TODAY... Won't last as past will prove.

If sd has been mad and angry at BM, and has refused to speak to her, I'm wondering if it was all to get what she wanted out of Bm an sd just being a stubborn preteen/teen ..?? I used to do this. Heck I think I still do when it comes to my biodad. I refuse to speak to him and so much time has passed, I'm not sure why sometimes...

I'm sorry for you

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