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We finally got them!

Posted by mom2emall (My Page) on
Sun, Apr 4, 10 at 20:30

BM came after work to drop off baskets....guess she really has a job now. Anyways she was here maybe 15 minutes talking to the kids and her cell kept ringing the whole time. Finally she answered it and it was on speaker....told her bf she was dropping off the baskets and would be home soon. Then she made the kids say hi to him...he did not respond. Then he told bm to get home and get her shi*! She had a look of horror on her face and immediately made excuses...well he is crabby from watching the kids all afternoon while I worked...gotta get home. And she hurried out of here.

The girls were so upset. They both were asking me and dh why their mom lets her bf treat her that way and began telling old stories of his meaness to bm....mostly all horrible things he has said to bm in front of them (i.e. your worthless, nobody else wants you, I don't want your fat as*, get out of here).

We told them that we can not answer why bm lets that happen, but told them we are glad they know it is wrong to let someone treat you that way. Also told them that if a man says mean things to them like that and ever threatens them, tries to tell them what to do, or makes them feel bad about themselves it is time to get rid of that man. They both said they would never put up with that!

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: We finally got them!

oh my, how wonderful that kids have their dad and you to provide appropriate examples of how people should act. can you imagine them growing up watching this 24/7? wasn't she also physically abused in the past? it is sad she never wants kids to come over, but it might be a good thing they don't go there and don't see all this

RE: We finally got them!

Well I almost think that bm choses to live with such a great amount of people because bf is more behaved then. But as much as I despise her for avoiding her kids I know it is best for them not to be over there.

All these years I have heard what goes on in BM's life from the kids and bm's family and dh after she confided in him once. But until I saw it the other day firsthand I never really felt too sympathetic. After the other day I do feel really bad for this lady that she allows herself to be treated that way! I actually went online and found a few womens shelters that give women and their children little apartments to live in and assistance getting on their feet. I thought about stopping by her home when her bf is at work and handing her the info. But then I thought it is not my place. Her family has offered her ways out and away from bf and she has not taken them, so why would she admit anything to me!

Its just sad. SD talked to grandparents yesterday and told them about the other night. Also told grandparents how much she dislikes bm's bf. She said the grandparents agreed and said they see the sadness in their bm when she visits with bf, but they can not make her leave him. Sd's were actually plotting to put bm on an online dating site and list her as needing a man who loves kids! I had to tell them it is a really bad idea because bm could get really upset, not to mention bf overreacting. They agreed not to do it.

RE: We finally got them!

I hope kids don't get an idea that one actually NEEDS a man. watching their mom keep having kids and getting attached to men is a very bad role model for them...

It is alarming that they start talking about finding better man for their mom. I was divorced since DD was 4 and she is 22, I dated and sometimes didn't date for a long periods of time, yet it never occurred to DD to suggest I look for a good man or join dating sites (?????)

It is bothersome that they think of looking for a man for mom.

I know you teach them otherwise, hopefully they learn the right thing. It is awful that they even have to worry who is their mom with.

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