BM has not called in over a month. And it has been longer than that since she saw sd.

She has the nerve to call today and say that she wants sd for the whole Easter weekend. DH told her that we had plans with sd already.

BM starts complaining that she wants to spend the holiday with HER dd. DH told her that since she has not seen her in months he had not thought she would show up now. He told her if she wants holiday priviliges then she should see her dd other times as well and keep in touch more. He told her life goes on when she does not come around.

Well she cried and screamed. Now dh is telling me we should let her take sd for Easter.

I am mad and think that when bm does not call or see her child for weeks or months at a time then she does not have the right to call and demand anything. How were we to know she would show up for this holiday? She missed sd's birthday.

I would not drop your plans but see if you can compromise a bit. If your plans are all day, then unless BM has an
order to see her, I would not drastically change the plans.

One of the reasons I would have is it sets a precedent that BM can call up on a whim and throw a monkey wrench into your family plans. It also sends a message to SD that plans are not important... it's disruptive to SD. BM should have kept in contact with SD and/or called sooner to make plans but it's not fair to SD to change plans at the last minute. She needs one parent she can count on... who does what they say they are.

Time with mom is important, don't get me wrong.. but not at the expense of dad not keeping his plans.