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ceph_gw

Future parenting discussions.

ceph
14 years ago

Hey Ladies!

I'm certain some of you have been through this and will have valuable advice to get my thoughts on straight.

DH and I are starting to try to conceive next cycle. I know none of you know me IRL, but shhhh, it's a secret IRL.

As you're all aware, I thrive on planning - LOL - so we've had plenty of discussions about parenting philosophies and so on.

As you're also aware, DH's ex and I have extremely opposite parenting ideals for my 10yo SS.

So sometimes things come up and DH says "When SS was a baby..." and I want to shake him!

I don't care that SS's BM thought breastfeeding was creepy! I am looking forward to it, cracked nipples and all.

I realize that BM ditched SS on whoever would watch him so she could do her own thing, but our baby will not be pawned off constantly so I can sleep in or go to the bar. I don't sleep in or go to the bar NOW, so why on earth would I start once we had a baby?!

What the h3ll is going on in your brain, DH? You know that I am a totally different person than BM, and we have a totally different relationship than you had with BM, and I have a totally different strategy with SS than she does - so why aren't you connecting this to that I will be a totally different type of mommy than she was?

I try to give him the benefit of the doubt that he is simply trying to share his past experience with me, but he's a foolish insensitive man, so he does it poorly.

I talked to him, calmly, about how BM and I are so totally different that I'd prefer he didn't base how we'll raise our baby off how she raised SS, and that I don't exactly relish hearing about how she did everything. He's certainly slowed it down, but still sometimes throws out "gems" like I mentioned.

So, now what?

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