I dont get along with my step daughter
pennylane73
15 years ago
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Comments (27)
nutbunch
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
18 year old daughter and stepfather don't get along
Comments (17)I just wanted to say that everyone has an opionion and that is great. Not all stepmoms or dads are bad people and I think sometimes we all get displayed that way. I did leave out somethings with this mixed marriage for there were several dealings with the law on his son and a lot of money was dished out from his father and myself. Held a job for about 2 months then decided hanging out with his friends was more important, so they fired him. Was kicked out of the same school twice went to go live with grandparents. They enrolled him into school where they live and he did graduate from that school, which I think is great. Still not holding a job all the while he is living with his grandparents who are retired and living on a fixed income. Sued his father for childsupport(per his sons mother)and won. Put us in a hole for 3 years while I was working 40 plus hours a week just to make ends meet. Yes my daughter also got herself into some legal trouble but she had a parttime job and I made it quite clear that she would be paying this all herself. It was a costly lesson but she learned from it and I saw a 180 degree change in her. Am I saying she is an angle no, and she is a typicial 18 year old who knows everything. Just like we all were at that age. She is very protective of me for what she saw when I was married to her father, which is no excuse for the anger. We have raised our kids 2 diffrerent ways, one not having any rules and lets his child do what ever he wants. Then you bring in a family who has had rules and you try to inforce those it just is not a good mix. Everyone one of us here live by the rules that are in place which are very simple, if you go somewhere please leave a phone number and their address incase we need to contact them. No my youngest does not have a cell phone my rule is when you get a job you can get a pre-paid phone and take care of it yourself. No phone after 9:00pm and that goes for any cell phones too. Yes there are ecceptions to that rule and the kids know that. They have a crefue 10:00 on school nights and 11:00 on weekends, with my oldest working she does not get home until 10:00 durring the week and that is an exception. If they are at a event up to school then that is also an exception too. Keep your room picked up and bring down your dirty clothes, and to help around the house if asked. Quite simple rules and not that hard to follow....See MoreI don't want to live with my fiance's daughter.
Comments (41)I think it's wrong for him to make such a drastic financial decision without your vote too. i think it's wrong for him to make such a life changing decision without you feeling comfortable with it. I think him being a clean freak and not putting his foot down on her disgusting habits is absolutely disrespectful towards you.. especially since you are the one cleaning it up. If he is the absolute love of your life and you think you can't live without him, then i would suggest (and maybe this is crazy) getting a house with a connected inlaw suite situation and putting her in it!Maybe then you can have "family time" when it is right for you. i know i will get criticized on that one.. ok it does sound crazy lol..but this child doesn't seem too concerned with anyone else, does she? Kids aren't stupid. They know what they're doing.If you can afford it, get her counseling and keep her busy with summer programs. In the long run, kids like a little discipline and order, whether they realize it or not. You've got to start all over with this girl and decide to make her new upbringing a project you both agree to or.. well.. RUN!!! The only reason i'm not starting my input out with "RUN!!!" is because i live with my boyfriend and he is the sweetest, warmest, kindest boyfriend ever. However, when his girls disrespect me he puts his foot down because he knows i'm taking on alot. They are over every other weekend and the only reason i am taking on this situation (not wanting kids AT ALL)is because he deserves my love and attention. He is all the things most women crave in a boyfriend and i love him dearly. We have a great relationship, so i put up with life being not what i planned on. Having said that, if we were to break up, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I WOULD DATE SOMEONE WHO HAD KIDS, unless they were adults and out of the house and normal and excessively kind to me. i stopped mid way through your story and said a prayer for you.. and i'm not even religious. If he can't make this situation easier for you, and you still want to see him, then do so, from the luxury of your own clean, dreamy place. If he can't compromise, let him clean up his own mess. We've got to stop supporting men who can't support the things we hold dear....See Morestep parent and child not getting along
Comments (14)I had a similar problem with my DD at about the fourish age.. she still has bouts every now and again but for the most part she seems to have grown out of it. And, this was absolutely not a result of divorce poisoning since her bd is no longer alive and hasnt been since she was two...but anyways I will have to Completely disagree with Kathline on this one... perhaps my dd is just a handful but she was fully capable of coming to me to tell me something happened or S said this or that that never happened...(and I did get suspiscous and start to investigate just in case but when she started lieing about conversations that I had overheard... I knew what was up) She also would do the crying for no reason and would be up my rear as soon as I would get home from work. I would come home and my DH would be in the room talking to her about something and everything would be fine until she saw me and then the water works. My DH was very upset by all of this and for a moment started to pull away from her. The only way that things changed was when I looked at how I reacted to it. Everytime she would cry I would ask what's wrong and try to get her to tell me why she was crying (attention!!) and when she would tell me things about DH I would go and ask him what really happened and then go back to her (attention!!) When I stopped playing into it ... she stopped. I know most of it had to do with her now sharing her mom with five other people and I am a fairly laid back person.. I grew up as the oldest of four in a cramped house that usually had all kinds of extra folks...like my cuz who lived with us on and off... so I am used to loud crazy atmospheres with lots of jokes lots of insults lots of everyone talking on top of everyone else... but my husband is not... he cant take the loud noise and he insists on no mam and no sir or vice versa.. so she was adjusting to having another adult in the house that did play like mom does and then on top of that she was not the "golden child" anymore (she was the only grandchild niece great grand etc etc) she had to share with three other kids... But, I started ignoring the crying when I would come home... I would just pop in to say are you hurt? oh well then cant be that bad get done whatever DH asked you to do... and when she would tell me something that wasnt true I would ask Dh infront of her if that was true ... and she would get punished accordingly usually go sit on your bed for x amount of time and then we will talk about again later (because ofcourse by that time the water works started).. It took awhile for her to realize that I wont play her game anymore and she is doing much better these days... But, not to say this is the case with your daughter because there is some divorce poison going on but even without it that can happen... I think the best thing to do is to change how you and your DH react to it and I think that mom2emall had a few good suggestions....See MoreDaughter 20 doesn't get along with my husband
Comments (20)Regarding the Zoloft comment awhile back -- your daughter should be careful with it if she ever tries it. I tried it for a little bit, but it made me very 'wacky' -- racing heart, very very nervous with no cause. Not something I'd recommend to the casual user. :) That said, I think you need to take it for 2 weeks (or some extended time anyway) for the initial weird effects to subside. Needless to say, I didn't wait to quit. I agree with mom_2_4 and the others -- it sounds from your own description -- unless someone else was raising your daughter, I might have missed it -- that you bought into all this poop by spoiling her when she was younger. Would you take this from a stranger? If not, why take it from somebody that supposedly loves you? There was an article somewhere or another, or possibly just a feverdream I had :) concerning our recent tendency to confuse explainations with excuses. Just because something is understandable doesn't make it forgiveable. Is it understandable that she might be upset with losing a special place in your life? Sure. Does that make acting like a nutcase acceptible? No. And by the way, depending on how 'nutcasy' she's acting you may need to do a little CYA if kicking her out becomes necessary. I've never had to deal with a situation like that myself, so any advice I could give you would be so much hot air, but you might want to look into taking some property-protecting precautions (getting the number of a locksmith, etc), and perhaps even do a little legal research. Just to be prepared, anyway. And finally, I doubt this list is being moderated at the moment. Which is a shame....See Morenivea
15 years agolast modified: 9 years agopennylane73
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14 years agolast modified: 9 years agoDornica Brown
8 years ago
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