Stepmoms and Weddings
LongTimeStep
11 years ago
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sylviatexas1
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVivian Kaufman
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
New to forum, stepmom forever
Comments (2)I understand that you felt that telling the GP's and SGP's about the Japan thing was o.k. because she had posted it on her myspace, I suppose I would have asked her first to make sure it was allright to spread the news. Sounds like SD is totally punishing with the grandbabies, and that's just selfish and unfair on her part. You have the right to be angry about it, but you also need to just let her get it out of her system, being a new mom again and dealing with the hormones. I wouldn't want to go to Vegas pregnant, either. Sounds like she was just EXPECTING to be brought along, not wanting to be left out. A bit spoiled? You're allowed to be angry, but don't continue to carry it because it's just not healthy for anyone. I can't give you much advice about SS. 24 is still very young, he's got a lot of growing up to do....See MoreRole of Stepmom
Comments (5)I often wonder what my role will be in my SDs big days as our relationships have come a long way, but often I think I'm more thought of for monetary contributions. Sit w/ DH and ask what to expect. If he doesn't know, he should find out pronto. Are your children her half-siblings? And their ages are? Does she have any other siblings and are they included? I'd think it would be terrible if your kids are also her blood and aren't included (or younger and won't understand the whole dynamics), but again, it's the bride's day and if it looks like a whole lot of frustration for your side, maybe skip it and do something great w/ your own kids, assuming that your absence won't be torn apart and viewed as a slight to the bride or your DH. Find out what you can find out. Do you speak w/ the SD? If so, maybe inquire if there's anything in particular she'd like you to do (like not come, lol) and take it from there. If you aren't on great terms, elect to sit this one out or expect to view it from afar. DH is in a tough position here, though. As much as it will annoy you, he's got a pretty big obligation to his DD on this day. I'm setting myself up for a similar post in a few years... Good luck, Dana...See MoreStep-Moms and Bio-Moms / Broken Dreams
Comments (85)My parents were married for 25 yrs when they divorced. Their marriage didn't come first at all. I don't know that even us kids came first...LOL. My mother has not re-married, but my father has. I have been on both sides of the fence with step-families. I was an adult when my father remarried. I have taken my approach with my SS's from what I have learned as a child of divorce, and from the mistakes his wife has made. 1. The marriage to my DH is of equal importance as his children. 2. The children need one on one time with their father regardless of how good our relationship is as a family. Whether intact or not, children need one on one time with each parent. 3. If anything were to happen to my DH, the chilren will recieve all monies from his life insurance policy, any items of his that they want, etc. It has been made clear to me and my siblings that we are not welcome to a personal relationship with our father. We are allowed to have one with him AND his wife (which is fine, but sometimes you need one on one with your parents) When I got married the first time, my father was dating his now wife. He brought her to my wedding. That was the first time I met her. They had come from out of state (about 1,000 miles) to our wedding. I welcomed her openly. She was awful. Very rude to my brothers, my mother, and disrespectful to my grandparents. She made it clear that she didn't feel that I was old enough to get married, and that she would never allow her daughter (same age as me) to get married. (I was young...21) Six months later, her daughter married a meth addict. Nice.... Anyway, over the years she's pulled some pretty crazy stuff. Alienating one of my brothers totally, and pi$$ing of the rest of us. Here's the thing. I still invite her to all family functions becuase she's my fathers wife. I remarried a while back, and she was invited to the wedding, and she sat with my in-laws, etc. I would never dream of treating her with any disrespect. I don't have to like what she does, but she is my father's wife, and that is the choice he made. My relationship with my father isn't what it use to be, and that's pretty sad, but that is his choice. I love him regardless. So, understanding both side of things, my goal is to foster a positive, fulfulling relationship between my DH and SS's. They all deserve it. What's funny, is that my DH would never allow me (or anyone else for that matter) to come between him and his kids. Nor would he allow my SS's to be disrespectful to me. I've been lucky, my SS's are very good to me. I don't know what I'd do if they weren't. I know I'd be crushed. I just don't think it's ever OK to exclude a bio OR step parent. When my SS had his 12th b-day party, he was mad at his mother still (he had moved in with us a yr before)and I told him "you invite your Mom, or no party...period". He got the message. We're teaching him tolerance. It can go a long way, just like manners....See Morehurt step-mom
Comments (5)Thank you for your kind and supportive words. One of the reasons I have stayed with H, was because I adore the grandchildren. It isn't their fault that the parents are behaving in a manner that shows lack of interest or support. I intend to take it one day at a time. the little ones are always telling me how they love granny, and it kills me to think I would lose that realtionship. yet, living with my H is so empty and problematic, and he refuses to change, the money issues, lies, still continue. He is the most immature 67 year old man that I have ever met. I can only hope that this will work itself out, if not, then I am ready to just close the book on all the kids. I need my sanity back....See MoreLongTimeStep
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agocolleenoz
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11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoAmber3902
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11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoemma
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11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoLongTimeStep
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10 years agolast modified: 9 years agoKaren10125
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10 years agolast modified: 9 years agoamyfiddler
10 years agolast modified: 9 years agoMom-of-all-trades
10 years agolast modified: 9 years agoSouthern Summer
8 years agocolleenoz
8 years agoSouthern Summer
8 years agoKaren Peltier
8 years agoSouthern Summer
8 years agoUser
8 years agoSouthern Summer
8 years agoUser
8 years ago
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