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lovehadley

Is this strange for me to feel like this?

lovehadley
13 years ago

Bm's MOM has been trying to be very friendly. Ever since I took SS on vaca, she's been (through DH/SS) trying to be extra kind to me and DD.

The night before our trip, DH was actually in bed with a terrible flu/cough/fever thing. He asked me to answer his cell and take any sales messages. Well, I answered one of the times it rang and it was BM's MOM. She went on and on to me about how sorry she was for what happened with BM last year, and how BM feels terrible about it, and how she is a totally different person, I sdhould give her another chance, etc etc.

Then the next day when SS came over for us to leave on vacation, he had a gift bag for DD from his grandma---full of activities/candy/treats for the plane. It was sweet and thoughtful. Then SS's birthday party was last weekend and DD went and SS's grandma had brought her a couple keychains, one with her initials on them, and one Wenbkinz keychain. Again, very unlike her, but thoughtful nonetheless.

Well--today I received an email from BM. She was tellling me that today BM hasd 1 year sober. And today IS one year to the date that BM came over drunk, tried to take SS, attacked me, etc. I was just thinking about the fact that it had been a year a couple days ago.

Honestly--it's a day I'd rather forget. Anyway, BM's mom went on to say how this is a wonderful day for their family and it should be for me and DH, too, because it is the anniversary of BM stopping drinking. NOW--I have to say--there have been 3-4 occasions where we have been almost 100% sure she'd been drinking, one within the last couple months!

But whatever. She says she is sober, so whatever. Great, I hope she is. I truly do. But today is not a day I am going to "celebrate" and I think it's kind of ballsy for grandma to act like I should. I am not sure why it bothers me, except that it was at MY expense that BM hit her rock bottom. So I should feel good that it was such a terrible day for her that it prompted her to quit drinking? Well, that was her own fault. Disease or not, she CHOSE to drink and she chose to take that path. So I have very little sympathy or celebration in me. I still get upset when I think back to that night, and I still wonder WHAT IF...wha if I hadn't gotten inside the house (away from her) fast enough? What if she'd gotten inside too, before I locked the door? She was screaming and ranting like a crazy person, saying she was going to kick my @$$, and this was after she'd already decked me! If she'd gotten to me again..I don't know what she would have done.

It upsets me to think about it.

Anyway, then in her email, grandma went on to say that she hopes IK will give BM another chance, because BM really enjoyed being friends with me and "it is so much better for SS" when BM and I can communicate.

Ummm, okay, A) no it's not better for him and B) I will NEVER be *friends* with her again. Cordial/civil if I absolutely have to see her, yes, but friends? Not a chance in h*ll.

I'm D O N E. I do not wait to be punched twice.

I just get sickened by the alcoholic/addict mentality...oh, yay for me, I stopped drinking/drugging/whatever, so everyone else should just accept it at face value and forget the past.

UGHHHHH.

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