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Update on Counseling Etc.

Posted by wild_thing (My Page) on
Wed, Apr 15, 09 at 14:03

Hey all! It has been awhile. The last time I posted my SD was starting counseling. That was about 2 months ago. We have been super busy here in that time, and I was very sick for about three weeks in there, and ended up having my gall bladder taken out.
But anyway...counseling is still going. Not too certain about any progress, it is pretty slow going.
She was working on some bio mom issues there for awhile, and that got really interesting lol. SD had to write an "I feel statement/letter" to her mom starting from where she could remember.
She did send it to her too.
It didn't go well.
Her mom is such an idiot!!!!!!!!!! Not only did she show everyone (in her family) the letter her daughter wrote to her....she took offense to everything in it, as did everyone else who read it, and then she is claiming to be suicidal etc....such a freakin' drama queen. Then to top it SS's g/f who is living with all of them cuz she is 5 months preggers, decides to write SD a letter, calling her all kinds of names, and threatening her physically. The two of them don't even know one another, they only met once for 5 minutes. The pregnant g/f has only known that family for all of 6 months max. was pretty hairy here for a few days. But because of everything that went down, SD decided that she wants nothing to do with her mother any longer. Her mom is too selfish and can not see past herself to reach out to her, so she doesn't want to see or talk to her.
So, we have been making baby steps on the home front to get things to a good place. It comes and goes. Which is probably normal. I think having the mom issues out of the way is helping. She feels "free" from that stress so she is trying harder I think.
But that is my update. We are still plugging away.

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: Update on Counseling Etc.

I am so sad for her that her mom reacted that way to the letter. But I am not suprised.

My middle sd once told her mom how she really felt. BM told grandparents and they all tried to lay a guilt trip on sd.

DH had to call grandparents (who are decent people...were just under the thumb of their own daughter). DH told them what had really been going on with their daughter and her kids and that their relationship with their grandkids needed to be seperate than their daughters. Told them they could talk to and see their grandkids whenever as long as they did not discuss their mother with them. They actually opened their eyes and apologized to dh and admitted their daughter was a lousy mom.

So in your situation I think it is good that the girl is opening her eyes to what her mom is doing. My 14yr old sd opened her eyes a while ago to the way her mom is and now sees right through her moms balogni! Now she is not hurt by her moms actions because she realizes her mom is not someone she can count on. And she also realizes her mom is a liar most of the time.

I just hope my other two stepkids come to that realization and stop being hurt by their mother too.

But there is nothing we can do. We just need to be there for the kids and let them see for themselves how people are and form their own opinions.

Good luck!!

RE: Update on Counseling Etc.

Amen to that. My SD's have now been in counseling for about two months as well :-) and it's going pretty good. SD12 used to be the one that was honest about BM's behavior and SD10 was always the one to be in blessed denial.
But now that they are in counseling SD12 is not too sure and actually told us that she "doesn't want to talk about things so much anymore".

And SD10 is loving it, they are working on her self esteem and it seems to be improving already which is amazing!

I can appreciate the fact that SD12 doens't want to talk about things, it must be very hard to discuss your 'louzy' mum and it becomes more of a reality as well. We created the opportunity for her but if she's not ready she's not ready. One day she will be.

The hurdles our skids have to overcome are not easy.

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