Brace yourself, it's never over....in most cases. It does sound like you have a chance though. The Dad seems to be a strong Dad and doesn't give into her.

Stargazzer, Dad is a strong Dad, I feel at least partially responsible for that... wasn't always that way. Fortunately and unfortunately he loves his daughters to a fault, at times, and does of lot of "taking back" any disciplinary actions he's handed out. Drives me a bit nutty, at times. I really do love my SD, but I'm not getting any return on that from her, so I'm just to the point where I'll be relieved when I see her bags packed and her heading out the door. I may sound like a terrible person for saying it, but I look forward to the time when she does have to deal with real consequences from her actions. Maybe then she'll appreciate what we were trying to teach her!

It would be hard for me to sit back and have all the supposed consequences nulled - what lesson is that teaching? I can understand your frustration - wish I had some advice but I don't.

I don't have any advice.. but I would share my frustration with the school system. We've had ongoing problems with SD lying and breaking the rules.

Last year, she was buying hot lunch on Fridays when her mom was picking her up from school. She was eating two lunches and we talked about it and all she would say is 'I wanted to'. So, this year we put a restriction on her lunch card after she bought unauthorized meals and snacks with her card. Well, even though her card is supposed to have a restriction... the Friday before she left for Spring Break, she bought another meal. She figured she was going to her mom for 10 days and we couldn't do anything about it. (She told us this when we asked her about it) Of course, I sent the school an email asking them how they allowed her to buy a meal when she had no money in her account and we had already put a restriction on it... I still have not received a response. SD has agreed to earn the money to pay for the meal... it's not about the money, but that's the consequence to her action. She didn't need it, she wanted it and she can pay for it.

Also, the Monday before spring break... it was her birthday. She handed out the leftover cupcakes on the bus & the bus driver said she was getting a citation. Instead, the week she was gone we got a postcard from the bus driver, thanking her for all her help and telling her she can bring the card to the office for a reward. WTH? She made a mess on the bus! She was told to help clean up the bus to make up for the bus driver having to clean up the icing from her cupcakes! All her help was her consequence for breaking the rule on eating food on the bus and making the mess! Why would they 'reward' her for doing what she is supposed to do anyways? I'm proud that SD worked at making it right, but does that mean she's entitled to a 'reward'? I don't think so and I don't get how the school officials think. So, I understand the frustration with the schools that don't seem to want to expect kids to be responsible for their actions. I just don't get it.

UPDATE: Just found out my husband handed SD money last weekend to go hang-out with an old friend from out-of-town!!! WOW! And this was after our discussion that there would no money handed out... It just goes to show ya... So now, just holding my breath for 6 more weeks until she graduates. This whole thing just stinks to high heaven!