You've got two very young children and lots of history together -- What you have is so very important that you REALLY need to try to save it. But 'saving it' does NOT mean "suck it up"! You've already done plenty of that and it's not working... Right now, you're exhausted and feeling resentful; and hard as it is for you to believe, your wife is probably *also* exhausted and resentful. Caring for two little ones at home all day is truly exhausting, and the lack of sexual intimacy in a marriage with young children is legendary. It's become a running gag on TV precisely because it is so true... Get yourselves into counseling! It sounds to me like your wife may have some anxiety issues; and you and her parents have been enabling her for years. Weaning her from all of her crutches will take time, and possibly even medication -- but it can be done, and you all will be better off for it. It's not hard to see how her fears will be passed along to her children if they're allowed to continue. Of course you should be able to have the occasional night off. (As should she, and the two of you together.) And as others have already pointed out, what's with the homework duty? YOU are not the one who's going to be a teacher, and if her own work is not up to snuff, how is your fixing it helping her? Or the kids she will go on to teach? If she were trying to get into medical school, TOP grades would be necessary, but to teach? Sometimes 'good' is plenty good enough. Make some changes Struggling, and do it NOW. (Before you're so darned tired that nothing could work.) Stop just sucking it up and start talking to her. Organize your thoughts, and make a list (yes, a paper list) of the most important two or three points you need to make. Find ways to explain your points that are short, simple and kind; and don't let her get away with twisting your words into things you don't mean. Ask her to repeat back to you what you said (and meant) so you know that she understands you, and be sure to emphasize that it's because you want your marriage to last that you're saying these things.

I was per-menopause in my 40's. Hot flashes then cold when they were over. The family would laugh as the sweatshirt went on and off! I haven't had my period for a year now.....yay! I'm in my late 50's. But I have mood swings. Some days hubby can't do anything right!

Sorry everyone, I have been on hiatus for a few weeks here, I got busy and very sick for a while, but feeling better now. Anyway to answer some more questions, I do not have any daughters, both are boys, and a cabin would be nice, but not for the reasons we are talking about. Things have been going pretty good for a while here,my wife and I had a couple of talks and she seems much more receptive and willing, she even admitted that maybe there is a problem. However, this week there was a set back, nothing big, but frustrating none the less. My wife had a bad day with the kids on Wednessday and blew up at me for some pretty minor things. It all started because we were talking about going to my friends Holloween party in a few weeks, we were told there were no bedrooms left to spend the night. One of my firends was pretty upset by this and I stated that I don't think he ever got a room to sleep in anyway. This maded her irate, and I said well i certainly could be wrong, that didn't matter. She yelled at me for 45 minutes and then acted like nothing was wrong, very typical for her. I asked her why she was so mad, and she said I was wrong, I told her that I already admitted that I am wrong and what else did she want. She then started berating me for anything she could think of, she was mad because I was supposed to ask my mother to see of she could babysit for the first weekend in November for the holloween part discussed earlier.. This is my mother's birthday and she always goes up north, my wife knows this, but I went ahead and asked if that was what she was planning to do. My mother told me that she probably would be going up north, in her language that means don't even ask, I have plans. So, I stopped there and left it alone, according to my wife I should have asked anyways and that I tip toed around the situation. To me there was no situation, my mom said she would probably be going up north as she always does. The thing is that my wife does not want to go to this Halloween party anyways, and has expressed this numerous times. I told her that she is not required to go and I am fine going by myself. Then she started yelling abut how I don't tell her all the details she wants to know, I am meeing up with some friends this weekend that I have not seen in 6 months and for fun we are going to a haunted house. My wife want to know why I didn't tell her the time and how much it cost ahead of time, I told her, I didn't know all the details right away and I asked her, do you tell me everything including how much you spend. She looked at me and said no and nothing else. I asked why are you so upset, she said she had a bad day and is just venting, I told her that she can vent anytime she wants, but then tell me about your day, don't attack me on a personal level. That's just not appropriate. Then she jumped back to the original argument about who sleeps in the bedroom at our friends house and says I'm always defending people when she has something to say. I told her I was not defending anyone, I merely thought that our friend never slept in a room. After discussing it with you I admitted that I am wrong. I could go on and on, am I missing something here that my wife is trying to tell me. Because I feel like I'm banking head against a wall. One minute she admits there could be a problem, the next minute she is yelling at me about situations that involve either my family or my friends. If this were her family or friends, there is never any arguing. I'm sorry, I'm just venting , feel free to comment, if not thanks for listening. Regards,

Isn't that just the most frustrating thing? We Freecycle and offer free on Craig's list quite a bit, with the same struggle, Patti ... NO_SHOWS! We live out of town, so I don't feel it's fair to people to just set something out on the driveway and say "first come gets it," but I'm about at that point. Tough cookies if they have to drive extra miles, I'm tired of penning up the dogs, sitting and waiting ... and waiting ... for someone who doesn't have the decency to show up when they say they will, or call and tell me they're running late or can't make it. Oh! and the ones who want me to DELIVER a free item to them, because they don't have gas money????? It's one thing to want something large and you don't have a truck ... but a bag of clothes? Will you bring it to me because I can't afford gas? GET REAL.