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What would you do?

Posted by mom2emall (My Page) on
Sat, Mar 20, 10 at 20:39

Last week my stepmom and dad were at our house babysitting our kids for a few hours. One of the kids had a recent tooth infection and extraction and the dentist had prescribed tylenol with kodene (sp?). Anyways only one was taken and the rest of the bottle was full sitting in our medicine cabinet.

My stepmom made a comment to me today about having a toothache and how the tylenol with kodene at my house really helped it. WTH!!! She went into our medicine cabinet in the kitchen and helped herself while we were gone! I do recall telling her about the toothache and what the dentist gave for it, so that is how she knew we had them. But I don't feel like she had the right to take our medication. I looked in the bottle today and she had taken 5 of them. Its not that we need them, because we don't. Do you think I am being petty, or should I say something to her? On the phone today I was just surprised so I did not even comment.


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: What would you do?

I dont think you are petty, and while I wouldnt say anything (just call me chicken), it does creep me out. For a number of reasons. Who takes someone elses meds? Why? Did she take any while she was there?


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RE: What would you do?

Hmmmm, tough one. I'd feel violated and angry that stepmom helped herself to somebody else's meds in my home, and took a week to even mention it to me. But I'm not sure I'd confront her. I think for me it would really depend on what the med was she helped herself to.

I would be extra sure to send a pointed message the next time they babysit though by moving the storaged meds to a lock spot. Meds are meant for whom they are prescribed for, even a good idea to take someone else's meds.

NOw that stepmom has mentioned a toothache and taking tyenol w/codeine for it, I'd likely suggest that she see a dentist. Masking the pain is not taking care of the problem.

I personally don't like tyenol 3 as I'm not big on painkillers to start with and last time I was prescribed it I found the dosage a wee bit strong compared to the pain I was having (it was back not tooth). My dentist does not prescribe anything for tooth except a antibiotic and over the counter motrin. He will prescribe if insisted upon, but I find I have a pretty high tolerance for pain and the motrin does the trick.

You know your SM well. If you bring up the taken meds, how will she react? It would really bother me if a person helped themselves to prescribed meds especially without my knowledge or consent, but I'd think nothing of it if they'd helped themselves to regular tylenol. But I keep them in a kitchen cupboard up on the top shelf with things like thermometer, kid tylenol, bandaides ect and if they were visiting or babysitting they would know they could help themselves or get out for the kids.


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RE: What would you do?

very wrong to take other people prescribed meds, it is fine to take over the counter medicine. i wouldn't say anything but hid it next time, and the fact she took 5? why 5 pills? way too many


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RE: What would you do?

I would have no issue with any adult, especially family members babysitting for me, helping themselves to T3s if they had a toothache or any other kind of pain. I would have been mortified if someone like that felt she had to either suffer or go out and buy pain killers to deal with pain she experienced at my home.

Having said that it would bother me to have someone take most other kinds of prescribed meds. Antibiotics, hormones, blood thinners, diuretics, etc. all seem somehow way more personal than pain killers.

But T3s are pretty generic - the reason they are prescribed is because of the possibility of misuse and addiction to codeine not because someone is likely to have a bad interaction or the dosage is tricky or anything like that as long as recommended dosages are adhered to.

I love them and am very pleased when anyone in our house has the good fortune to get a prescription for them because none of us have ever finished the whole 12 or 25 in the prescription and then I hoard the remaining few like gold and dole them out when someone has something that OTC meds can't deal with.

Depending on how many hours she was there and how bad the toothache, five is not necessarily unusual. Two every four hours is a pretty normal dose for serious pain. If she was there for a whole afternoon or evening it would make sense, IMHO.

But your house, your rules. Just be careful if you want them to keep babysitting for you.


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RE: What would you do?

Hmm, given that codeine is a weak narcotic, yes, I'd be pretty choked.
Not because she took pills from my medicine cabinet, but because she took a narcotic medication while she was watching my child!!!

Codeine knocks most people on their butt. People who are knocked on their butts are not reliable caregivers. You said your dad was there too, but still! Unacceptable.
And if there are five gone, she either took enough that she was thoroughly on her butt or she took some home with her.

And if she took some home, I'd be mad too. While you are in my home, then help yourself to what you need from my kitchen and bathroom, but don't pocket my stuff for when you leave.
At my house? Want a snack? Have some toast. But don't put the loaf of bread in your purse when you go.
At my house? Your period starts unexpectedly? Nab what you need from under the sink. But don't grab a handful for later.


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RE: What would you do?

I agree with that, ceph, but when Mom2 says a 'few' hours, I assume she meant roughly '3', which does indicate more than a usual dosage was taken (5 in 3 hours) or some was taken home for later.

Also what would happen if SS was currently taking them, Mom2 went for one and one of two things happened 1) pill shortage for actual intended person...good luck calling and explaining to dr/dentist you need more for child cause you're out too soon. 2) If SM had not mentioned it at last, what would happen if Mom2 went to bottle found 5 missing and had then went asking around the home who took the meds and why?

It's not just the drug, it's the 'why would you help yourself to somebody else's prescribed meds, no matter what the med was? And why take more than you needed and not even mention it.

Mom2 may or may not be feeling differently if when she'd of returned home SM had said 'hey, huge toothache, looking for something to help and found the bottle of prescribed for GSS, so I helped myself, just so you know'.

I just think it was tacky to help yourself to prescibed no matter what med was and not mention it. I also would have sent my Dh off to the drug store to get me something for pain/toothache before I would have helped myself to someone else's non-over the counter meds.


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RE: What would you do?

I'd have a BIG problem with that... Was there some reason why she couldn't have called you and asked? I'd certainly feel very differently about OTC medications -- You need *regular* Tylenol? Help yourself! But prescription painkillers? Narcotics? Sorry - but lots of people treat those as recreational drugs, and taking them without a prescription is illegal. I take that very seriously...

What to do about it? Tough one. It's not like SM is going to change or that Dad will divorce her over it. But moving the prescription meds to a locked cabinet seems like a good idea -- and a locked cabinet that's visible might be even better. It's a pretty good safety idea in general...


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RE: What would you do?

Narcotics should be under lock & key... it is illegal for you to give her one... it is more illegal for her to take them without telling (or asking). I have family members that are addicted to Vicodin. I have been given prescriptions after surgery or for back pain & it goes locked up. I'd have a HUGE problem if someone just took them out of my medicine bag. If it were me (based on my relationship with my dad), I would tell him that I am not comfortable with someone taking my prescriptions (and I would not like someone going through my medicine cabinet, but that's just me) and then I would just keep things locked up. Besides, with preteens/teens around... it would be a good idea to lock up anything that the kids or their friends might be tempted to take. (ie. alcohol cabinets, cigarettes, etc.)


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RE: What would you do?

If she would have taken tylenol or some other over the counter meds I would not have cared. My problem is that she took prescription meds out of my cabinet. I have never thought of hiding them or locking our cabinet because my kids are just not the type to take that stuff and they never have friends over when my husband or I are not home. But I guess that I will have to get a little lock box and put our prescription meds that someone may want in the box inside the cabinet.

Somehow I can just imagine my stepmom calling me and asking where the key is like its no big deal! LOL


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mary

mary, I was prescribed Tylenol with codeine but really don't like how it makes me feel. But once I just could not tolerate pain at work and took one pill, I was incoherent, dizzy and not alert. I was unable to work.

SM was babysitting young children and was possibly not fully alert due to filling up on codeine. This is too dangerous.

Plus it is illegal to take prescription medicine that is not prescribed to you especially narcotics.

You can't possibly insist that it is OK to do something illegal, do you? With children present?

If her pain was unbearable, her DH could stay and babysit and she could go home.


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RE: What would you do?

Finedreams,

Everyone reacts differently to medications and I'm sorry that the Tylenol with codeine didn't agree with you. I am not advocating that SM get stoned or take something she isn't familiar with but I would assume that anyone smart enough to trust with my kids would be smart enough to know what she was taking. That is just me, though.

Here in Canada, Tylenol with codeine is available over the counter from the pharmacist in two strengths (T1 & T2). T3s are available by prescription because of the larger amount of codeine. There are a number of medications sold here containing codeine that do not require a prescription.

Maybe in the US people are more concerned about the idea of codeine but it is not that big a deal here.

I have never read or heard that taking someone else's prescription meds was a crime though possession of narcotics without a prescription can be. Again, I'm speaking of Canada. Perhaps in the US you have a law like this. It seems very "big brother/big government" though doesn't it for a country that prides itself on "liberty" from government interference? I hope that doesn't sound snotty because I don't mean it to. I just think it would be an odd thing to make a law about. Who would enforce it? How would anyone know?

My point in replying was just to say that it wouldn't bother me if a responsible adult took a couple of T1s, T2s or T3s when at my home babysitting my kids.. If they took enough to get wasted/stoned, I would be upset and would not allow them to babysit again but there was no indication of that in the OP so I didn't think that was the issue here.

My mom was a pharmacist until she retired in her 70's and I was brought up with what I consider a healthy respect for her profession and the care that must be taken around medication but I don't think Tylenol with codeine (in a strength that might be OTC here) qualifies as needing a big response.

Most people here disagree. I'm okay with that.


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RE: What would you do?

You're not the only Canadian on here...
I would prefer that you NOT blanket our entire country as codeine addicts, thank you very much.

We do have laws about having possession of narcotic prescriptions that are not yours, but they are rarely enforced unless there is intent to sell.


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Not a nation of codeine addicts

You're not the only Canadian on here...
I would prefer that you NOT blanket our entire country as codeine addicts, thank you very much.

We do have laws about having possession of narcotic prescriptions that are not yours, but they are rarely enforced unless there is intent to sell.


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Bah!!

GW pitched a fit at me and told me it couldn't post my message... So I changed the subject line, but it turned out that it DID post it.
This particular GW quirk irritates me.


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RE: What would you do?

Ceph,

I'm not sure what you meant by "blanket our entire country as codeine addicts".

I agree with you that Canadians are not a nation of codeine addicts. Sorry if my postings gave you or anyone else that impression. I can't think why a discussion like this would make anyone think Canadians are all codeine addicts.

I know that we have had different laws than than the US. About 15 years ago I injured my back on holiday and was told by a pharmacist in Hawaii that I couldn't buy T1s or T2s in the US without a prescription. I don't know if that is still true but I assume so.

In Canada, we can buy it over the counter. Codeine preparations are sold here by pharmacies as long as the codeine is in combination with two or more other substances. So we have lots of codeine, caffeine and acetaminophen or aspirin combos to choose from. Cough syrups, too.

Would you disagree?

Of, course there are laws against having possession of narcotics prescriptions that are not yours in Canada. I did not say there weren't. I said "taking" someone else's prescription wasn't a crime. I should have said clearly that ingesting someone else's prescription with their permission is not a crime. Possession, trafficking, possession for the purpose of trafficking, producing, distributing, obtaining a prescription without disclosing your narcotics prescription history, etc are offenses.

I'm not worried that I am going to be prosecuted for the 8 T3s I have in my night table in a bottle with my husband's name on it. Nor do I worry that I made my kid a criminal when I gave him one of those for a migraine a few weeks ago. I view the OP as a similar situation. Maybe you don't. That is fine, but don't exaggerate and accuse me of something I didn't do. Let's just disagree about what is appropriate in a family, okay?


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can you read mary?

mary you don't seem to read the posts that you are replying to, or simply refuse to understand. It is not important how I or you react to Tylenol. IT IS AGAINST THE LAW TO TAKE SOMEONE ELSE'S PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION.

OK if you want to talk how it is OK to give it to children. Yes, if you knowingly give a child someone else's prescription medication and there are witnesses and something happens to that child, like dies of overdoes or that medication reacts with something else that took and they die, you will face responsibility. BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL. It is the same with adults. You might not go to jail for giving someone else your medication BUT IT IS STILL AGAINST THE LAW. When you break the law in your hosuehold, it does not mean the law stops existing.

I had to type in caps because you don't seem to understand normal size font.


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RE: What would you do?

@OP:

I think your SMom should have told you when you got home "I had some bad pain, I remember you have this medication and took some. I hope you don't mind. And, could I take a couple home just in case and until I can get to the Dr.?"

What I don't like in this case is the taking of it, the taking more than needed (whether ingested at the time or not) and then not telling you right away.


On prescription drugs...I tend to lean more on the side of Mary on this one. I have taken drugs intended for other people before. I actually had some extremely bad pain one time and my uncle and aunt who were visiting had some prescription pain pills. Since the regular pain pills I had weren't working and the pain came on at night, I took one of theirs. The next day I went to the Dr. and had an examination. No big deal.

I don't know if I'd give my DD prescription strength anything without going to the dr unless it was an emergency situation, especially codine, because people can have severe codine allergies.

But I think the government probably shouldn't be as involved in this as it is. Once our government admits they are heavily involved in this "war on drugs" and are profiting from it, and make some real changes regarding our relationship with Mexico, etc... then maybe I will have a little more respect for them determining my "drug use" (which is, at most, a prescription pill that was not prescribed to me specifically once every five years or so). I don't even use cold medications. When I have penicillin, I keep it around "just in case" as I do with my other medications. I don't think it's anyone's business unless I'm selling them, etc.


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RE: What would you do?

mom2emall,

I probably wouldn't like having someone take the pills without permission but wouldn't have a big problem with it either if she really was in pain from the toothache. Taking 5 to me indicates that she took some for the road, probably to hold her over until she got her real prescription.

The bigger issue is how under the influence she was while babysitting. One tylenol w/codeine might have made her sleepy but your dad was there backing her up. More than one is not ok. I would probably nicely ask her to not do it again and then hide the meds next time they visited. Has she ever seemed drunk or high to you before?


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RE: What would you do?

Finedreams, I get what you are saying. Against the law is against the law for you. You sound like would not be comfortable with any amount of lawbreaking.

While I can agree technically, I don't worry about the small infractions I commit. I have been known to speed and sometimes coast through stop signs. When I go to work at 6 in the morning in a very rural area I have also stopped at a red light and then run that red light rather than wait 3 minutes for it to change when I am the only car for miles. I don't worry about the the ethical implications of those "criminal" act. Nor do I care if responsible family members who used to babysit my kids are that kind of "criminal". That makes no difference to me. The OP falls in the same category for me.

My doctor knows exactly what I give my child (now 16) for his migraines and agrees it is a good idea when they are very bad. He doesn't get really bad ones often enough to get a prescription for T3s. Why spend the $ when his dad has 8 left over from knee surgery?

Take me away in handcuffs if you want, but this doesn't seem like anything worth making a fuss about. If you think differently, that's fine. You're probably a better person. I'm sure lots of people are. I can live with that.


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RE: What would you do?

Mary, I don't think it comes down to "better" persons. I too pick and choose which laws I will abide by religously. I ignore those "green/red arrow" turn signals quite frequently. They insult my good judgment. I've given my DD a sip of my beer before too, when she asked. As expected, she thought it was nasty. Against the law? Yes. Being of European heritage, I believe it's better to introduce alcohol in moderation and including children in the 99% milk, 1% coffee drink, or the burbon and honey for a cough, or a sip of mommy's drink. Against the law? Yes.

I also let her steer the vehicle on back roads and ride in the back of her uncle's truck. Against the law? Yes. These choices could lead to her injury. So could riding her bike without her helmet *all the time* (gasp!).

I also rip the tags off my pillows...


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RE: What would you do?

Silver, I think we all pick and choose amongst the lower level laws. Criminal stuff most of us abide by all the time. Some traffic laws , tags on pillows (LOL), giving a child a sip of beer or wine (My god! I've done that too. I forgot), or passing one's sister a prescription allergy pill as she is sneezing her face off at at the home of a friend with a cat seem to be grey areas that many people can live with. While we might think those are good laws to have, we don't always follow them. Sometimes we even disagree with the existence of the law and then have to choose whether to follow it (because it is the law) or disobey and face the consequences (because we disagree so strongly with it).

You're right. Its not about being a "better" person. I was trying to be facetious but it came across wrong.

Sorry the thread got hijacked.


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RE: What would you do?

LOL. I get it now.

What would I do? Honestly, if this were my SM I'd probably b*tch to a couple of friends and let it go. Confronting her is usually noneffective. What would I like to do/ideal situation?

"Hi SM, remember when you told me you had a bad toothache? I hope you were able to get in to see the dentist immdiately"

(this gives you an answer to one question... if pain is bad enough to take Codine, and to feel the need to take four more for later, just in case... it is bad enough to get a quick appt. with the dentist. If she didn't, or has put it off, you know the pain wasn't *that* bad.)

Then, go on to say "well, I remembered that you took one of the pills that were prescribed to my kid because the pain was so bad so I was concerned. I also want to ask you something... it's kind of hard for me to ask you. When I looked in the medicine cabinet today I realized there were five missing. I'm really concerned. Did you take more than one?"

Then, let her explain as she will. And say something like..."I'm sorry you were in pain while you were watching the kids. But it really worried me to find so many gone and no explaination. With everything on the news today about prescription abuse I was worried about the kids. I'm sure you can understand my need to account for all prescription medicines in my home."

I think it's necessary to get a really clear idea of where she is coming from.

1. Express concern for her health
2. Express concern for finding more than one was taken from bottle.
3. Express concern for lack of VERY clear communication regarding narcotics.

If her explaination is anything other than satisfactory, lock up the meds around SM and explain to her and dad why you are concerned about having them watch kids again.


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RE: What would you do?

Great suggestion, Silver. It would be worrying to have them disappear with no explanation. With your plan you get all the info you need, pass on the info she needs about your concerns and no one gets their nose out of joint.


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RE: What would you do?

of course people break the law, but that's why they serve consequences. When you speed, you get a ticket, the only reason you would not get a ticket, it is if you don't get caught. if your child accidentally overdose on your prescription medication (that you knowingly gave him)then you'll serve consequences. most illegal things are only OK until you get caught.


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RE: What would you do?

Mom2, I would have been mad that she may have left MY kid in pain if they ran out of meds, but luckily she did confess...I would have also freaked out if 5 pills were missing with no explanation, did kid overdose themself, have a friend that sneaked them out of the cabinet, or an adult with an addiction problem, and trust me , you may not know who they are..I hide pain meds when ANYONE is in my house, to not give any poor soul the opportunity to help them selves to it and leave my DH short of what he needs..Had an out of work neighbor kid doing work in my bathroom, and he was the LAST kid in the world I thought had a problem...That being said I am in TOTAL agreement with Mary and Silver, geez I would absolutely give my teenager a pain med if he needed it,he s taller, weighs more and I can take 3 times the pain med s he could I m sure, every case is different , common sense if a Dr prescribed it, or I gave it to him, and he had an allergy, the same thing would happen, we d find out...Better people !!!!!!, yeah, some people will only cop to my perfect child is lazy or messy, because I was such a perfect parent, just to be , sure we ll all in this parenting together to what, fit in? I m old, I m done raising children, I see what mistakes I made (and what I ve done right) Yeah, I think WE KNOW(CAPS!!!!!) whats against the law!!! HORRORS!!!!Thank you Mary and Silver for opening up to MY KID MY CHOICE!!!!!And for the record, my kid is lazy, messy , alcohol and drug free (His choice)Not hitting up peoples Vicodin cuz I gave him one for a heel spur..Geez sorry for the hijack Mom2


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not always a good choice

"MY KID MY CHOICE!!!!"

it is not always a good choice, and often choice leading to some sad consequences


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Saddest

CHOICE I saw this week was dead child with parents denying meds for sick child due to religious beliefs...I do trust there are some parents out there that have their dear childrens welfare at heart.......


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RE: What would you do?

I certainly hope dotz that people make good choices for their children, unfortunately there are too many parents out there who don't know what right choices are.

Unfortunately too many parents cannot be trusted to make healthy choices.

it is nice in theory, in practice too many people cannot make good choices for their children. I had a student whose family believed in quality family time, sounds good, right? for them it meant after dinner everyone comes to the living room, sits on the couch and shares a joint, by everyone I meant minor children too as young as 10. Quality time. LOL

"My kid, my choice" sounds funny to me in that context.


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RE: What would you do?

Wow. Ok. While I disagree with anyone giving any child any kind of drugs (OTC, prescribed, or currently illegal) for innappropriate reasons (ie, to get high, or because the kid has recurring headaches and the choice is to give them pain meds without looking into possible causes such as not enough water, or many people giving their "hyper" boys speed to bring them down to manageable levels).

Marijuana does not kill. Although I will not be giving it to my child, and I do not think that instance you mentioned is appropriate; for over 10,000 years, up until the early 1900's most people used marijuana as medicine as well as using hemp for a variety of useful things. Look up the reason marijuana was outlawed and you will find ties to racism and classism.

Bad diets, on the other hand, do kill. And we "allow" people to feed their children nothing but junk.

What you are saying when you say "...Unfortunately too many parents cannot be trusted to make healthy choices...it is nice in theory, in practice too many people cannot make good choices for their children"

is that our government has our children's best interests at heart and we should listen to our government over our own common sense. Our government. The same one that classified tomato katsup as a vegetable in the 1980's for our children in school cafeterias.

My common sense tells me I shouldn't give an adult dose of anything to my child, who weighs considerably less than I do. It tells me that if I am to share my medications with another adult I should be cautious who I share with, and make sure they are responsible people too. It tells me that if marijuana eases the pain of a cancer patient they should be allowed that drug of choice because the side effects of marijuana are negligible compared to other drugs that are sanctioned by my government.

It tells me to take responsibility for my actions and not rely on government to tell me to buckle myself into my seat (children are different, they aren't old enough to make informed choices about buckling), wear a helmet on my bike, ride in the back of a pickup truck, etc. I think a lot of laws are ridiculous and do not serve my quality of life.

My Child. My Choice.

And if my kid falls out of the pickup truck and dies, it's a tragedy. Same as if a drunk driver plows into the car. It's life. We're living it. We make calculated risk assessments every day. I choose life.

Dotz, every time I see that I feel for that child. It is indeed tragic. Just as much as the parents who choose alcohol over food, an abusive spouse over a women's shelter, religion over their child's sexual preference. Parents make devastatingly "wrong" choices for their children every day. Those are the ones who make the news. But most, I believe, are truly looking out for their children's welfare.


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........Silver..........Pick up truck

On my first visit to my sons baby doctor he said ...Do you put your son in a baby seat, and I said YES of COURSE I DO!!! And then he said do you buckle up??? I did not, at that time, and he said , A baby is not too good without a mother.......Never have had an unbuckled day since,,, Sigh Sometimes EDUCATION is a wonderful thing....


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RE: What would you do?

Silver,

Well said. All of it.

You, too, Dotz.


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RE: What would you do?

although marijuana does not kill, it is highly inappropriate to give it to minor children so they can have good time with the rest of the family, and it is against the law. My example is very appropriate in showing that not every parent knows what is a good and healthy choice for their children.

It wasn't an example directly related to inappropriate use of codeine but rather a response to "My kid, my choice".

Due to the fact that many parents are incapable of making good choices there are laws and regulations and professionals who would help to make that choice: there are health care professionals, federal and state law, child protective services that provide some (although not good, could be much better)regulations against poor parental choices.

In ideal world maybe "my kid, my choice" would work with every parent, not so much in real world.

There was recently an incident of a little boy dying of sodium overdose, he liked salt and salty soups so much that he had access to unlimited amount. After he had several cans of salty soup at once per mom's permission, his body shut down and he died. apparently his parents did not know that large amount of sodium, will kill you. "my kid, my choice".

as about common sense, well not everybody has it. sometimes it sounds to me that people live in a fantasy world and don't know what is going on outside their door.

Just because you would not do something stupid, doesn't mean nobody will. that's why you go to a doctor to obtain prescription for your child and that's why educate yourself on what is appropriate to feed young children etc.

If you put a young child in a pick-truck and he fell off, i certainly hope you get punished for it and have no more children. It is a tragedy that could be prevented. But I also hope that somebody would notice it before he dies, and applies some consequences to you, so you stop doing it. Government is not doing a good job protecting children, but at least some not so smart people are afraid of consequences. "My kid, my choice"


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RE: What would you do?

Would I confront her ...no

Would I ask her to replace them... if she got her own script sure why not

would I be mad ... you betcha ya and not because I need t3's for pain but because they are the best thing in the world for a cough ... not a minor cough but a cough so bad you can't catch your breath or like my cough I cough so hard sometimes in induces vomiting ... if she or anyone took my "stash" of t3's ... I would be bugging. I hoard them ... if someone gets them for pain or whatever we take them for a couple days then move to reg tylenol ... and save the others!!! Thats why most scripts are for 10 T3's you don't need them that long.

And like some others said ... if you went for them and gone and she hadn't told ya ... you have 2 teenagers in the house ... did they take them ? one of their friends? anyone ...

Every parent makes decisions on what THEY THINK is best for their family .... whether its smoking a bone after dinner or having dessert ... personally I would need a t3 after smoking a bone because the hives would be unbearable then a couple of benedryl of course :)

Too much of anything is bad for you ... sunlight, darkness, milk, candy, sugar, meat, coffee, heroin, t3's, benedryl, money, tv, radio, computer, salt, water, riding in cars with boys, the list goes on ....


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RE: What would you do?

I'm taking my response to FD to a new thread. I'm interested to know what OP chose to do in this situation and how it turned out.


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RE: What would you do?

When I first read this, I was horrified. I thought, Ugh! No I would NOT be ok with that. But the more I thought about it, the more I softened, not on the fact that I don't like it, but on your step mother's intent.

I kinda wonder if she went into the medicine cabinet looking for regular tylenol or whatever and came across the codeine and thought what the heck! And the reason I think this is that she told you she did it. Because she told you, it makes me think that SHE didn't think anything was wrong with it.

That doesn't mean there ISN'T anything wrong with it or that you should think there is. I certainly do. But what it does say (to me) is that she was innocent as far as her motivation goes. She saw it as the same as taking tylenol (maybe) and therefore didn't see it as sneaking it or doing something wrong.

If you go at it from that point of view, then I don't think it's a big deal to just say to her that you are uncomfortable with her taking Rx meds from your house and please not to do it again. Not in a confrontational way, just sort of like, hey, I've been thinking about this and here's how I feel.

It all depends on your relationship with her and how comfortable you are with her, but if you're comfortable enough to let her watch your kids, then I would think this kind of conversation would be ok.

It's sort of a benefit of the doubt thing. Like, I know you didn't see any harm in it and there very well might not be but for my own peace of mind, etc. I sometimes just say it's my own shortcoming, or blame myself in some way when I want someone to agree to something they might not necessarily agree to otherwise. Like Oh, it's just my own silliness, but will you please just go along with it anyway? It's a somewhat non-confrontational way of convincing someone to do what you want.


 o
RE: What would you do?

I'm sorry but this would make me angry for a couple of reasons. She went into your medicine cabinet/prescribed meds without telephoning & asking you if there was anything available she could take for pain.

She may have knowingly left your DD without enough pain medication.

It was sneaky & dishonest, and it sounds like a typical thing that a substance abuser/recreational user would do.

If it were me I would call your Father and mention what happened and ask him to relay to her that the meds need to be replaced. This puts your dad in the know & on alert for future instances where this might occur & forces her to go to a physician to get a rx. Never trust a druggie.

There was absolutely no valid reason for her to steal those pills.

~Cat


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