I don't know the answer but I've asked myself that question many times over the years. We have 3 feeders that are in different locations around our yard. I've watched hummingbirds fly up into a tree and sit there to guard their feeder. They couldn't possibly be thirsty anymore, however; they sit on a branch and keep a close watch, ready to defend if there are other visitors. What amazes me is that I've seen pictures on the web of 20 to 30 hummingbirds together at feeders. It blew my mind! That would never happen in my yard. Each hummingbird stakes a claim on the feeder they visit. It's closed to other visitors when that particular hummer is around. My eyes aren't good enough to tell the difference from male or female. (Guess I'm getting old!) LOL Interesting question...hope somebody has the answer.

A lot of us gals are attracted to those 'bad boys'. And a lot of those 'bad boys' can be pretty charming and even nice at times. This fellow has obviously captured her heart for most likely a bunch of reasons....some good and some bad. He may be 'misunderstood', she may have 'low self-esteem'. She may need whatever financial assitance she can get from him.....if she gets any....and doesn't want to alienate him. She may be afraid of him. He may be great in bed :) Whatever the reasons, as everyone else has said already, she'll have to work through this one herself and all you can do is be a caring listener and help pick up the pieces as they fall. I have been going through this with our eldest daughter, now 36, for about 6 years........now in the throes of divorce. It hurts so to watch them make mistake after mistake, showing such poor judgement. But experience is the best teacher as painful as it can be. And, some times I really believe that it all had to happen, was God's plan all along, that she should pair up with her soon-to-be X because they produced the most wonderful little human being, now 4..........a delightful, adorable, little guy that we will all treasue forever. At least one really great thing came out of the whole mess!!! Good luck and God bless.

Thanks for all your ideas, Al didn't sleep at nite he slept during the day and if he slept at nite it would only be for an hour or so. Al was only with us for 3 weeks after we got her. and she slept through the nite except for this last month. the neighbourhood is quiet only 7 houses and when we (my dd or myself) get up to see what she's doing all she does is follow us back to our bedrooms. i think she's trying to say i'm bored come play, i'm gracie and i'm little! she does love all the attention she gets even from the most misable people you might know, her personality is what you'd call "super", sometimes i'm afraid that someone might just scoop her up and run away with her. she's so different from our "boy" he was just mean, her she's just happy,happy. thanks again for your help. ps just a little bit of nosyness here but have you noticed that alot of pets are overweight? deb keeping warm in northern canada

Can I join the bad-guy club? You'll never guess what I did that was so bad! I asked FDH to ask FSD to tidy up her stuff in the bathroom. OH NO! HORRIBLE EVIL SM! Here's the deal, there are 2 kids. They share the main bathroom which would also be the one that guests would use. Her mineral makeup and wet towels and dirty underwear and perfume and toothbrush and hair were all over the counter and floor. So Sunday I asked FDH to have her clean it up. Mind you, she'd only been here for like 2 days (came in late Friday night). He never did. Well on Monday when I came home from work and they were all home all day, I about blew a gasket. I was so p*ssed that I cleaned the floors! (Anyone else do that when they're angry?) But I didn't actually say anything. So yesterday I told FDH that my mom was coming up and asked him if he could please ask DS to tidy up his room and if FSD could please clean up the bathroom. You'd think I was asking him to move a mountain! He gave me a short, curt, "sure". When I get home, the only thing cleaned up was DS's room and FSD's dirty underwear was picked up. (funny, she didn't take them to the hamper; she just threw them on her floor in her room which is on the other side of the door from the bathroom and visible to anyone going to the restroom). Everything else was still there. This is not her private bathroom! I'm sure DS doesn't want to see her dirty underwear on the floor when he's in there! And the worse part was that she had a friend over Monday night! So her friend got to see it, too! So then FDH tells me that I've been on FSD's a$$ the whole time she's been here. I told him that's not true because I haven't actually asked her to do 1 single thing. I've asked HIM to ask her. And I said the reason it seems as though I'm harping on it is because he's not relaying the information and it's not getting done. So then he brings up that DS leaves his stuff in the bathroom and I pick it up for him. I told him that was an unfair comparision because DS lives at the house and takes 100 times more showers than FSD. And I also told him that 90% of the time DS either picks up his stuff or I make him go back and do it and the other 10% of the time I pick it up because we're having company or some other extenuating circumstance. UGH! So I have the same problem except it's the NCP dad not wanting to step-up and wanting to be Disney-Dad, while BM sits over there all perfect and wonderful and gives FSD lies to tell us. OH! I forgot the best part! She washes her face with hand towels. No big deal, right? Except that she doesn't get a clean one from under the sink. Yep! That's right! She uses the dirty one hanging on the towel bar that everyone has been trying their hands on all day. EWWWWWWWW! I told FDH about that and he just shrugged it off. Okay! If you want your daughter to have all kinds of nasty bacteria on her face!