I've been watching our old neighborhood in SoCal (Orange County) since we moved to another state last November. We had originally listed for $600-615k. After our first buyer fell out in escrow, we had many showings but no offer for about another month. Finally sold our house for $589k minus $12k closing costs (they're high in California) after about 2 months on the market. The house directly behind us, which was bigger but on the same size lot, was also for sale. Their list price for a long time was $650k. They didn't start reducing the price until several months after we'd moved. Now it's still on the market and they've just reduced the price another $20k - it's now at $460k - $190k below their first asking price. According to zillow, they bought the house in 2004 for $475k, so they'll sell it at a loss. BTW, the zillow estimate for that house is currently $622k, so their value estimates are way off base for that area. I know some other sellers in the neighborhood were upset with us for selling at the price we did, but we needed to move so we did what it took. We were in a rapidly declining market and wanted to stay ahead of it. Others, who waited, have now lost more money or have taken their houses off the market. We were fortunate to have an experienced realtor (17 years in the business) who had seen ups and downs and knew how to price accordingly. And we took his advice, and I had read a lot of information here on this forum that also helped us sell. Declining markets are hard ...

I'm curious, koritsia...are you greek by any chance????? anywyas, i think you and your hubby need to sit down and gently put it to him that you are not blaming him, it takes time for someone to warm up...especially at 11...she may be close to menstrating..hormones going...it was an iffy time for my sd...mood swings or just quiet zones at times. I knew it was her hormones. HAd to explain that oneto my husband..he had no clue. Your hubby maybe also more cautious with her because of the 16 year old. That's a given...its automatic response. You also need to sit down with 11 yar old daughter and calmly speak to her and tell her not to be sad. He deosn't understand. I think all of you need some bonding activities. All of you together. ANd a side note....greeks in their culture tend not to go to psychologists...but to their priest. We've been taught that way. Depends of course on yoru up bringing. i know peope are bringing up counciling but if that root wont do for you then try your local priest or community centre. It did help for in my situ. i tried a councilor...just didn't do...went to 2 priests...it helped.

It sounds like living together was actually a great idea because it has given you the chance to see that he is NOT going to be a good partner for you. I know from experience that although you have to love the person you are with, it is an absolute necessity that you also respect them and how they live their life. If you can't respect him as a man and as a father, you will never be able to have a good marriage. Get out as fast as you can! Don't feel bad that you can't commit to being a step-mother to your boyfriend's kids. Because you and the kids haven't bonded in a parent/child relationship, it won't cause them pain when your relationship with their dad ends. You have actually done everyone a favor by keeping your role limited. It sounds like you were very nice to them, and that is all that is required of you. Take care and if you can, try to find a man without kids or with ones that are grown!

I am a big believer in forgiveness. I try to forgive those whom I believe have caused me harm; I hope that others will forgive me if they feel I have in some way harmed them; and I try to forgive myself for not being perfect. I try to give others the benefit of the doubt...that if they have behaved in a way where I felt hurt, I trust their actions were not deliberate. I hope they extend the same to me. I know that I have never in my life set out to deliberately cause harm to another; I try to believe the same is true of others. So, I guess my resolutions would be twofold: one, to be generous in judging the motives of others; two, to learn to forgive others & myself --- again & again & again & again.....