Annie, I know tons of people who store pans in their oven. I also just do not get it. The biggest disaster (lately) that I have created is to try to make a batch of bread that makes two loaves in my breadmaker. (Annie's maple oatmeal bread). Well, I never gave it any thought, but when the cycle beeped and I went to get it out to shape and bake, there was yeasty dough all over the counter, the floor, in the bottom of the breadmaker...yikes! We had to take the breadmaker and use a spray hose from the kitchen faucet to clean it out. Didn't know if spraying that water in it would hurt it or not, but I managed to make bread in it yesterday and it worked just fine. But what a mess to clean up!

I feel the same way about my husband's exwife. I am custodial stepmom of 3 chlldren. My husband has always had custody because the exwife decided one day she no longer wanted to be married or a full-time mother. Before I came along she constantly dumped 99% of her time on my husband, he of course never said no, she had full control of her old household only she lived in a differnt place and had her own life. It was a very unhealthy situation. My husband just never stood up to her, he struggled to keep a full-time job and take care of 3 children. I give him tremendous credit because many men in his situation would not be able to take on that responsibilty. Well, then I come along, we get married and all of a sudden she begins to take a deeper interest. Mainly because I would not allow her to control my household and my husband began saying "no", She always used us as her babysitter, whether it was a work meeting, an exerecise class or a European vacation. She has been nothing but a major PIA, she wouldn't pay child support when my husband enforced the order she opened a full blown custody case, suing us for full custody because she did not want to financially support her children. We also have a screwed up schedule. During the school the chldren visit their mother Mon&Tues 4-8pm with alternating weekends. During the summer they visit her Mon-Wed 4-8pm with alternating weekends. The exwife wanted some crazy, they live with her 3days one week, then us 4days, and the next week it was the reverse. Mind you, she only had a 2bedroom condo. All three children sleep in the same bedroom. 2 girls 13&10 and a 8yr old boy. The master had enough sense to reconize that the living arrangemnents were not appropriate and would not grant anymore overnight visits except for the already standing 2 weekends a month. The schedule is crazy. The exwife is crazy. She teaches the children it is ok to lie to us. She is NOT supportative of myself or my husband. She has harrassed us to the point that she is not allowed on our property, she can not contact us by phone, she may only communicate via email, unless it is an emergency related to that day's schedule, then she may leave a message on our cell phone. She would call my husband at work and pull him out of meetings with the CEO of the company for some nonsense question. HE would get numerous calls on a daily basis. I never saw 2 divorced people talk on a daily basis. We have insulated ourselves as much as possible but everyday there is some new issue. She never returns clothes that the kids wear over there, one day she sent my ss home with no shoes on. She won't take the kids to baseball games and then tells them we did not give her the information. I could go on and on. But your words say it best I HATE HER!!!!! If I had hindsight my posting would be alot differnt. I would be like that one woman who used to be involved with a man with children. Trying being involved with a man who has custody of his children. The rewards have been few and far between. I have lived this from the first day I moved to where my husband lives (I moved from a different state). So the entire two years of my marriage have been filled with this crap. My husband's relationship with his children has also suffered terribly. I was divorced for 11yrs before I remarried and never experienced one ounce of the trouble I have in this life, and it isn't even my divorce. The best advice I can give you is stand your ground. Say NO, she is responsible for her custodial time. It took my husband a long time to be able to say no, it is very easy for me. I know that he is still uncomfortable with saying no but I help him, Remember you can't let her control your life. Good luck, God Bless. I understand, it's one hell of a way to live.

Mary 1956, whoever said that there is something wrong with you because it bothers you that your husband's ex-wife is included in his family in a way you aren't has obviously never experienced this kind of hurtful treatment. I have! I am not sure why people act as they do, but a friend of mine told me that many people just don't have the ability to think about other people's feelings like "we" do. I am not sure I agree, but I do see it on a daily basis. Why your husband's ex-wife doesn't see how inappropriate her attendance at his family functions is eludes me. My guess is that she doesn't give a rat's a__ about your husband or you. She must not have any pride. Maybe she does it to hurt your husband and you. Even if your husband says something to his family, it may not help. I am in almost the identical situation, and although my husband and I haven't been married for as long as you, his ex-wife attends many of his families events. To make matters worse, she had an affair that ended their relationship about 15 years ago, and his family seems to not care. She has driven a wedge between him and his kids, and they don't seem to care about that either. And she has done everything she can to prevent me from having a relationship with his adult kids, and for some reason these kids just allow themselves to be manipulated. I hate to say this, but there is probably not much you can do about the situation unless your husband can influence his family. In my mind, they shouldn't have to understand why it bother's you, they should just accept that it does, that YOU are part of the family, and that they should make things comfortable for YOU. Good luck and let us know how things work out!

Grace, If you allow her to cause problems with you and your husband, she will. If he allows her calls to cause problems between you and him, and he chooses to continue taking her 'non child related' calls then the problem is HIM. I can understand how he feels if she might make things difficult for him so he is trying to keep the peace. My mom never let go and my dad was the one that had to lay down the law to her. She still hasn't let go completely but she knows that certain things are unacceptable. He's the only one that can tell her and if he feels it could affect seeing his kids, I would try to be more understanding. The fact that she wants him back and still loves him has nothing to do with how HE feels. He's obviously moved on and married to you. It's probably a tough position for him to be in. I was almost 18 when my dad remarried so he probably never felt he could lose his kids, most of us were old enough to see him on our own. and of course, I felt loyalty to my mom so it did affect my relationship with my dad, even as a young adult. I imagine it would be much harder for a younger child. The best advice I could give is work on being supportive of your husband. If he can't refuse to take her calls, know that he has a good reason. His kids. When her calls are excessive, maybe turn off the phone so it doesn't interrupt your time together. Ignore her emails. Of course the daughters want their family together. They are kids, no surprise there. What she wants is irrelevant, he is remarried and as long as he doesn't want to go back, it doesn't matter what she wants. Don't put the pressure of your relationship to his kids on your husband. It's up to you to form your own relationship with the kids. If they are not open to it or tell you what their mom says, simply let them know you are sorry their mom feels that way but you want to get to know them, have a good relationship with them, etc. Don't force it, it takes time & patience. It will also depend on the ages of the kids and how loyal they are to their mom. If they have been divorced for 8 years, I assume they are tweens/teens and that is a difficult time for kids ANYWAYS.... let alone during a remarriage that mom is upset over.