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mom2emall

I am reaching my limit.......

mom2emall
14 years ago

BM is making me insane. This in and out stuff is out of hand. She moves back to play mommy and then had to be forced to see her kids. We are almost at the 2 week point of no contact from her again. Why the heck did she move back here? Just to disrupt our lives? SD started crying tonite that bm has not called again. Started saying how bm did make them hot dogs when they saw her last time and how bm told her that if the younger 3 were not running around she would have spent more time with her. Told me that bm really does want to be their mom again, but it is just hard for bm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had it with these excuses!!! I told her that bm has not called again because this is how she is...no changing it. She is inconsistant and will never be a good mom to them, they will either have to take her as she is or keep getting upset at her failures. I told her that making hot dogs one nite after not seeing them for over a year is the least she could do and that having little kids around is hardly a good excuse to ignore her other kids. I pointed out that with all those people living in that house I am sure somebody could have watched the little ones (maybe even her bf! GASP!!) while she hung out with the older kids.

I told her that there is no sense beating herself up anymore or making excuses for her mom. I told her we all know how her mom is and everyone we know feels badly that bm behaves that way. Told sd it is not her imagination, bm does stink! I also told her that when she becomes a mom someday I hope she does the things that me and her other female relatives do when it comes to children. Honestly one of my fears is that she will repeat bm's behaviors if everyone keeps excusing them!

She seemed better after I said all that. But afterwards I felt as if I got caught up in the heat of the moment and could have chosen my words wiser. Though if sd repeated any of this to bm I would not care because it is the darn truth! But I don't want sd to feel badly, but I do want her to take her blinders off and open her eyes to the situation.

Was I wrong? I feel relieved to have gotton that all out, but I also feel badly because even though sd stopped crying and seemed to really understand it all I don't know if it was too much. She is 14 though....

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