Return to the Stepfamily Forum | Post a Follow-Up

 o
anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

Posted by mom2emall (My Page) on
Sun, Feb 15, 09 at 21:45

So I was online today and an article popped up about the famous octuplet mom. And it had a link to her website http://www.thenadyasulemanfamily.com/

The website has a link for donations.

Does anyone else find it ridiculous that a single mom of 6 went and purposely got pregnant again?? She had no career or source of income or home of her own!! And now she has 8 more and wants donations?

Geez....what is this world coming to??


Follow-Up Postings:

 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

Personally, I just think it's terribly SAD for all those innocent kids! I think the website is a ridiculous joke and wonder if anyone really has donated anything.

First, how the hell did she pay for fertility treatments and what doctor in their right mind would have helped her with the first SIX kids? The first couple of pregnancies... maybe. But six? No way!!!

The doctor that implanted the 8 needs to lose his license. How unethical is it to assist her nuttiness? None of these kids has a dad. None of these kids were conceived naturally. She has no job. She is 'disabled' and how is she going to care for all these kids?

She has been receiving death threats. She hired a publicist that just quit because their agency was getting death threats. She seems to hope to cash in on the situation but I don't think she deserves death threats but I hope a court intervenes and places those children in stable homes. Otherwise, none of them are ever going to have a normal life.


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

"anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?"

Uhhh....yeah. 'Nuf said.


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

"what doctor in their right mind would have helped her with the first SIX kids?"

Ummm, yeah. My DH and I are getting ready to start in-vitro in April/May, and our RE will not implant more than 2-3 eggs, depending on their quality. The doctors in the practice we go to really try to keep the chance of multiples way down....even twins are considered "high risk." Our RE said they only have 2-3 sets of triplets in his office per year.

The doctor in this case acted in a really unethical and dangerous manner. I'm really confused by the whole thing--a.) how she was able to even AFFORD this and b) WHY the doctor would implant EIGHT embryos???

WOW.


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

It is difficult not to hear a story on this situation...One thing that I heard that I hadn't thought of was that when these babies went home the older kids already at home where going to become their care givers. It was brought up that in large families the older children do have some of the responsibility in caring for the youngest ones. Usually, though, the older ones are much older.

It is a sad thing for these kids. I hope that some companies will donate products for the kids but I would have mixed feelings to see the mother profit from this choice. It is totally irresponsible on her part and the part of doctor. No question.

I am angry at the thought of our tax dollars supporting her choice. It never should have happened but now that the babies are here they deserve the best life possible. I'm not sure that it means she can give that to them. Should she be forced to put them up for adoption? I've heard that brought up. If she can't give them the care that they need then maybe she should. I don't know.

lovehadley,

I pray for success for you and your husband. You are who this technology is for. I'll be thinking of you.


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

Oh yes there will be donations from the government and from individuals.

I happened to watch Dr. Phill's show one night less week, I only caught second half of the show. But yes there are and will be numerous donations from different organizations, there are number of professionals who are going to be helping wiht the kids etc.

Dr. Phill by the way shared our opinion here that it is immature, crazy and selfish decision on woman's part (and unethical decision on doctor's part). He also invited all kind of professionals to the show who also said this is so wrong on many levels.

But he also invited some child protective service representatives, who said that other than taking children away from her she will be provided wiht all kind of help from the government, so she can keep the kids. Dr. Phill said that her 6 children are neglected and now other 8 will be too and maybe taking children away is a reasonable decision? CPS represetative said that it is more humane to provide her with help than take children away.

Now there was this famous plastic surgeon on the show, who said if you compare her looks over the years it looks like she had plastic surgery done. They showed couple of her pcitures over the years and yes it does look like she did couple of things. With what money?

i think this woman is sick and normal people don't do stuff like that. Some psychiatrist on the show said that this woman shows incapacity for making proper decisions. her justification for having that many kids: I have a NEED for children. (?) What about children's needs?

I believe she is either mentally ill or simply does not have full mental capacity (saying it in casual terms is not smart enough to make proper decisions about her own life). Medical personal had to evaluate her first prior to implanting embrios. I would put her doctor to jail.

For those who ask how she will be able to afford it. She won't. Government and bunch of different organizations will be the ones who will support her and her children. I honestly think that doctor who implanted embrios should be paying for it now.


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

.....It does look like she did a couple of things. With what money?.......Exactly. Was it money that was given to the kids for their disabilities? That is sad. Perhaps they should look into that a little deeper.

I agree the doctor should be put in jail and any resources he has should go towards care for these kids. I would like to know if he has done this before. Have any of his other patients been checked out?

I don't always think that CPS does he right thing by the kids. What would be inhuman about placing a special needs baby in a home with a family that could give them better care? Unless she has live in help, 24/7, how can she care for so many kids especially if there are more with special needs. Just asking. I just the best for the babies and I'm not convinced that it is being in the care of the biomom even if she receives outside help. I just don't know. I don't want to "punish" the biomom. The care of the babies just has to come first. It isn't even know yet what medical or mental challenges they are going to face is it?


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

My cousin has triplets, they were born after fertility treatment of some sort and after 5 years of trying to get pregnant the usual way. They were born prematurelly and were very weak and one of them had to undergo multiple surgeries since he was born with undeveloped degisteive tract. They are doing fine now and are in a kindergarden and my cousin is back to work.

But the first two years of their lives were a nightmare because one had to be in and out of the hospital so somebody had to be there, somebody had to be wiht the other two kids but someone had to work to pay the bills and keep health insurance going! so they had live-in nanny, my aunt sold her buisness and retired so she could help, my cousin, who is a lawyer, closed her practice . her husband was the only one working but also taking care of the kids every free minute. and wiht all that care my poor cousin got postpartum depression the first eyar because she simply couldn't handle it (espcially her baby going through such difficult surgeries recosntructing digestive tract) so she had to go on antidepressants.

Mind you they are intelligent, well adjusted financially well-off people, plus they have extended family to help and still it was tough. Now imagine 14 kids, no money, no brain, no proper help. can't even imagine.


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

Oh my gosh, I know, finedreams!

There are quadruplets at my DD's school and their mom told me that they spent $50,000 the first year on nurses and nannies! These are also people that are financially well-off, but she described the first FIVE years of the quads' lives as being "hell." The kids are now in kindergarten and she said it is FINALLY starting to get a little easier.

And these kids were all healthy, only stayed in the NICU 4 weeks, and have no late-term health issues.

But 14?????? I just don't think it is possible for their mom to give all those kids the love, care, and attention they need.


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

"But 14?????? I just don't think it is possible for their mom to give all those kids the love, care, and attention they need."

ABSOLUTELY!!! Even with donations, government assistance, and even volunteers to come in and help physically 'take care' of these kids, how can one person emotionally nurture all of them or give any one of them the attention that a child deserves? We hear all about kids needing 'one on one' time with their bio parent in a step family situation but when it's a single parent of 14, that will not be possible. I'm sure in big families, that is just accepted but the kids are not all the same ages either.

My mom is one of nine surviving (of 13) kids. The difference is that they were born over a period of 20+ years. They were not all the same age, needing the same level of attention or having any medical needs. And because of the size of her family, they worked from a young age (my mom was picking cotton at age 9) to contribute to the household (that was before child labor laws) because there was no government assistance.

It's not the older children's responsibility to help this parent raise these kids. I hadn't heard that she was expecting any of her older kids to be caregivers but if she is, that makes it even worse... in my opinion.


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

Please do not tell me this lady will be homeschooling all her kids too!


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

"anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?"

Definitely.

I just don't get the current fascination in [American] pop culture with parents that have a s**tload of kids. There are all these tv shows about it now, and I know plenty of people who watch these shows, riveted. I mean, sure, it's cute, it's nice to see people stepping up and trying to be good parents and all... But after a point I question what underlies this as a cultural ideal right now, especially in an economic crunch.

I guess the thing that really sticks in my craw about it is the inevitable "donations" that come pouring in to these people (because many of them COULDN'T rear the kid sproperly w/o these donations). It certainly doesn't bother me that people are helping other people but the hypocrisy of this in comparison with similar situations involving different types of people can be striking. It's totally fine with me if someone has the independent means, and wants to adopt children who would otherwise have a really hard life. But that's another thing that intrigues me: the public looks upon Madonna or Angelina Jolie as "weird" when they adopt kids, when really they are the ones (with the means) who SHOULD be doing that! And then, of course, there is the big race/class hypocrisy of the donations to middle-to-upper-middle class white people (like this octuplet lady) who want to breed a huge brood, while villifying "welfare mothers" for doing the same thing, simply because these women come from a different segment of society.

The whole thing is pretty gross...


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

"the public looks upon Madonna or Angelina Jolie as "weird" when they adopt kids, when really they are the ones (with the means) who SHOULD be doing that!"

I just have to disagree that Madonna or Angelina Jolie (or any other wealthy celebrity) SHOULD be doing that! Yes, they have the financial means to support lots of kids, but just like this mother with 14 kids cannot possibly give that many kids the emotional support and individual attention that each of them deserves and/or needs, neither can a celebrity that relies on nannies to maintain their stardom. I don't see much difference. If they are wealthy enough to have that many kids and are willing to leave the spotlight to devote the time to raising the kids, then yes, they are in the position to do so. There's more to it than providing financially.


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

"but just like this mother with 14 kids cannot possibly give that many kids the emotional support and individual attention that each of them deserves and/or needs, neither can a celebrity that relies on nannies to maintain their stardom."

I guess I agree to a certain extenet, but I also have to say--Angelina's kids are a h*ll of a lot better off now, even with nannies,than they were living in orphanages in Cambodia and Africa.

I do find Angelina's desire to have such a huge brood a little odd---but at least she and Brad can support their family without tax payers' assistance.

I guess there is a double standard with the octuplet mom versus someone like Kate from Jon & Kate Plus 8. I highly doubt Jon and Kate could afford their EIGHT kids were it not for their show and celebrity-status now. Basically, they sold out their family to TLC because they had no other options. I think I remember reading/hearing somewhere that they were pretty much broke before they started doing their show.

How is that different from the octuplet mom? I guess, it's really not. I think this California lady is a lot wackier than Jon and Kate, but I think that they have certainly had a GREAT deal of help in providing for their kids.

Somehow Jon and Kate have managed to come across as more stable, and better parents than this octo-lady! And there IS a difference between 8 kids and 14. AND Jon and Kate weren't on welfare and living with their parents with SIX OTHER KIDS when they had the sextuplets. But still. Who knows, if it weren't for their show, they might well have found themselves in that position.


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

"I guess the thing that really sticks in my craw about it is the inevitable "donations" that come pouring in to these people (because many of them COULDN'T rear the kid sproperly w/o these donations).

And then, of course, there is the big race/class hypocrisy of the donations to middle-to-upper-middle class white people (like this octuplet lady) who want to breed a huge brood, while villifying "welfare mothers" for doing the same thing, simply because these women come from a different segment of society. "

Sounds like you may not have been following this story Serenity --

- Donations have not been pouring in here because the public is outraged. The inevitable flow of free diapers seems not to have been quite so inevitable after all, and baby products companies have not been rushing in for free publicity. In fact, even her PR firm quit because they were getting death threats.

- And while she may look like a middle-class white lady and have come from middle-class roots, Octomom is being villified primarily because SHE IS a welfare mom! Oh wait, not 'wellfare' but rather student loans, food stamps and disability payments for herself and three of her six older children. Her whole life - not just post-octuplets, but before! -- Her whole life as a mom has been paid for by other people -- her retired parents and the taxpayers.

Personally, I think any woman who can afford to have a lot of children and who is capable of providing loving care for them should be able to have them. But Octomom fails on ALL counts.


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

You think she takes care of the first 6???? lol
I saw an interview with her mother! And she said she's very angry that she went ahead with 8 more babies because she is already tired of taking care of the first 6 grandkids.
And they interviewed the octoplet mother and said she is applying for school grants now to go back to school and she will use some of that money to go to the octoplets...INSANE!
She is using the system...i understand she needs the money..but hey! she did this to be famous and to get attention. Its obvious she has issues because why on earth would this woman go ahead with 8 when she had 6 already and 3 of which are on disability????? AND she has not man in her life. So all 14 kids will have no father figure.
DISFUNCTION to such an extent i can't even begin to say what i feel!
But now that the children are born, what are you going to do? And i'm sure she will never let them be adopted.
Another interview said she has a striking resemblance to Angela Jolie....go figure...she's already a superstar by comparison....


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

I just find it very sad for the kids.

As for Jon & Kate Pluse 8 I think they had fertility issues when the conceived their twins. When they went to try again I thought I read somewhere that they did not think they would have more than twins again. When they found out they were having 6 they did have the option of reduction AKA aborting a few of the fetuses.


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

kids need not only food and shelter but emotional support and one- on- one time with their parents. My cousin and her DH have a schedule when each one of her triplets gets one-on-one time with each parent, then one-on-one time with both parents. They worry that kids won't develop separate identity properly. How could mom give attention to 6,8,14 kids??? And there is no dad in the pciture.

And then another issue! When one of my cousin's kids get sick, the other ones catch it immidiatelly. So with the household of 6, 8, 14 kids everyone will be sick all the time!


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

We have a family at our church that has 10 or 11 kids. I have lost track. We spent 3 years checking out other churches and in that amount of time they had a couple and miscarried at least one. There are no multiples.

The mother in this family is a stay at home mom that also home schools. Home schools poorly if you ask me. My daughter would let me read notes that her friend had written to her and at 13 or 14 years of age I could barely get through them. I guess, now that I have started writing I remember that a few years ago she did go to work at a Christian school in town where her school age kids can go for free. Her oldest daughter, around 21, was a friend of my daughter's for a few years. We have been inside of their home, taken some of their children with us on outings and been able to watch the kids grow up.

From what I was able to see having so many children put a huge burden on the oldest girl. She was bitter and would comment negatively whenever her parents where expecting again. Most of the children were very loving and behaved well. A few did not....same as any family I guess.

I have seen families of this size who are very organized and that work well together to maintain a clean and orderly household. This was not one of them. The father worked manual labor and for a small family he would have made a good wage but for a family of this size he did not. The van they drove was donated to them. The house was newer but always a mess and I mean really a mess. You didn't want to use the bathroom in this house. That can be said of my daughter's room, I know....but I would not even eaten anything from their kitchen. The father would bring home raw milk and cream from farmers in the area. He also hunted. (squirrel was among the catch!)

I had heard, and believe it to be true, that the mother would fall asleep as she was grocery shopping...just dead tired. She also had some small strokes a few years back...but they continued to have children. Her parents have not been happy about the situation.

Another woman in our church has 17 grandchildren from her daughter. She is not happy that her daughter continues to have children that they cannot afford. The father is not very motivated to make money for the family and spends time not working.

With these families it is a "religious" conviction. One that I do not share nor do I understand in this current day and age.

They certainly live a lifestyle that I would not choose for myself nor for my kids. I just couldn't manage it. I would be insane...:o) My body would have been shot a long time ago. It is anyway.

You can't legislate this type of procreation nor do I think that we should go there but this octomom is another story. This should not have happened. Should not ever happen again.


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

It is complete nonsense but I am a big butt hole for saying she should of been forced to have her tubes tied after the third????

Those kids are going to have ZERO quality of life. Their mother is a publicity whore fishing for hand outs and they will be the ones who suffer:(


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

It's absolutely ridiculous. I read that the doctor is being investigated. I think if she makes the older children take care of the babies, it will be considered child abuse. If I remember right they are very young. I believe social services will be watching the situation.


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

She probably had a catchy name all picked out for her TLC show with 13 like:

"Baker's dozen"
"lucky 13"
"double down + one"

But 14 can't think of one


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

i agree the whole thing drives me nuts-partly because i think that multiple births or numerous adoptions have been glorified as of late.

that being said, i think TLC has done a great job of picking a couple of families that parent their kids well, no matter the number. for instance, the duggars (seventeen kids and counting) have a great setup. they shop at thrift stores, buy food in bulk, even make their own laundry soap. mom home schools the kids, the kids know how to take care of things around the house EVEN I don't know how to do!! and the best part, IMO, is they're debt free!! they built a gorgeous, really big house to provide for their family and paid for it as they went. no mortgage, no car payment, i LOVE it!! yea, they may have a million kids because they feel like God has planned things that way-and that's fine by me. that's not necessarily how i feel, but they are actually living the scriptures they believe in.

as for jon and kate plus 8-i have to admit i've read the blogs, i read their book, read aunt jodi's sister's blog, watched the video-frankly i don't know what to think but i do enjoy their show. a lot of people seem to think they did IVF as well, but they did IUI. two very different treatments. the six ended up as a result of overstimulated ovaries. and they're against selective reduction. that's entirely their prerogative. they didn't implant an obscene number of embryos or any of that-it just happened that way.

frankly, i'm kinda annoyed that people have so much time to concern themselves with what jon and kate do or do not get, who offers them trips, how much their new house was...on and on and on!! seriously, people, anyone of us that has ever bought a 'people' magazine has contributed to paying brad and angelina 14 MILLION DOLLARS for pictures of their newborn twins. THAT is what is disgusting to me. we want to begrudge these people and their kids a 1.3 or 1.4 million dollar house on serious acreage (i want to say 17 acres, but don't quote me) when 17 acres and a large house in my area would cost at least 3-5 million. AND I LIVE IN FARM CITY, IDAHO!! not to mention their 'new' house is like 10 years old.

i'm one of the gazillions that's been hit hard by this stupid downturn in the economy-and i've had to swallow a BIG piece of humble pie!! i've had to restructure my mortgage so i wouldn't lose my house, asked the local gas company to cut me some slack on my payments, and sold anything i could possibly sell to keep my head above water. if i had someone show up at my door and offer to help me in any way-paper towels, heating assistance, new clothing, even a trip to hawaii...you're dang right i'm taking it!! i help and have always helped when it's within my means...now people are doing the same for me. i don't feel like i'm taking advantage.

what i DO think is taking advantage is a single, unemployed mom EXPECTING handouts from people, a lot of whom have nothing to give right now. i think its irresponsible of her dr. to implant such a huge number of embryos after several SUCCESSFUL rounds of IVF. it's interesting to me that kaiser permanente is where she ended up, IMO knowing they would have to pick up the tab for the oct's hospital stay (she was already prego when they took over her care) and that taxpayers money would pick up the tab after that!! it's really frustrating to me. if she really felt that strongly about destroying embryos there's always donation.

there's probably a billion things we don't know about these situations-but i'm not going to begrudge people that have made success stories out of something really, really, difficult. the difference, IMO, is that this oct. mom made things difficult for HERSELF...this one is no fluke!!


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

Doodle..."It is complete nonsense but am I a big butt hole for saying she should of been forced to have her tubes tied after the third????"

Honestly, all I could think of when you wrote that was... better a big butt hole than a big (the other) hole...

Back to "license to breed"!!!


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

Silver, you're funny.

Thing is, they have plastic surgery for that too, now, so Octomom might solicit donations for that also.


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

I saw her belly. If you haven't, don't look. It's painful. She said she gained 100lbs. Can you imagine? No plastic surgery is gonna fix that mess.


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

"I have a NEED for children. (?) What about children's needs?"

remember when Michael Jackson dangled that baby off the balcony?

There was an expert on one of the talk shows after that, psychiatrist or something, who said that the problem with MJ was that he was all involved with the image of himself as a parent of children; that he had no concept of what the children needed.

narcissism.

I my own self am delighted with & proud of Angelina & Brad & of every person or couple who adopts a child, especially a child who otherwise would likely die before the age of 18.


 o
RE: anyone else find this octuplet thing ridiculous?

You guys should go to foxnews.com and see what the O'Rielly factor had on the mom last night....someone got info from her psych. doctor years ago.....interesting.


 o Post a Follow-Up

Please Note: Only registered members are able to post messages to this forum.

    If you are a member, please log in.

    If you aren't yet a member, join now!


Return to the Stepfamily Forum

Information about Posting

  • You must be logged in to post a message. Once you are logged in, a posting window will appear at the bottom of the messages. If you are not a member, please register for an account.
  • Posting is a two-step process. Once you have composed your message, you will be taken to the preview page. You will then have a chance to review your post, make changes and upload photos.
  • After posting your message, you may need to refresh the forum page in order to see it.
  • Before posting copyrighted material, please read about Copyright and Fair Use.
  • We have a strict no-advertising policy!
  • If you would like to practice posting or uploading photos, please visit our Test forum.
  • If you need assistance, please Contact Us and we will be happy to help.


Learn more about in-text links on this page here