What to do about the cruelness of your boyfriends child's mother
hotgurl225
17 years ago
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coolmama
17 years agolast modified: 9 years agohotgurl225
17 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
Do you give gifts to your kids' boyfriends/girlfriends?
Comments (43)I had a couple of holiday surprise guests too--at noon, with the gathering scheduled to start at 2 pm, my son asked if it was ok for his ex-girlfriend to come! They split quite awhile ago (he broke up with her) but I knew they were still reasonably cordial. I'm not sure exactly what the status of their relationship is now but I have always liked that girl so it was nice to see her. And my daughter asked if a close friend could come. Friend is a Jewish vegan so it was a little challenge for me to ensure there was food she could eat. It all worked out and I am so glad I always have a few gift items on hand. Gave ex-girlfriend a Godiva chocolate bar sampler and a nice candle. Daughter's friend got an iTunes gift card and a joke book of the world's worst album covers (she and my daughter are both into the indie rock scene here). They both seemed to have a great time. Son and ex(??) went home to her place together, and my daughter's friend told her afterward 'Christmas is fun-I might have to find a Christian boy to marry!' :). Ann...See MoreBoyfriend with child
Comments (2)"my fiance is an incredible guy" He sounds like it, 2 girlfriends pregnant at the same time & now he's "trying to help you with your feelings" of anger (dare I say rage? I would if I were in your boots) at *him*. What arrogance! I don't think you have any wiggle room with the baby; the baby is a human being, your boyfriend is her father, & that's reality. His "trying hard to help you with your feelings" is just too weird; the person with whom you are angry can't "help" you with your feelings, all he can (should) do is humbly apologize & express remorse that he has hurt you. For him to try to "help you with your feelings" is self-serving on his part, not in your best interests. You might want to back off & cool off & look at this with a fresh perspective. There are so many other fish in the sea....See MoreHow much responsibility should I take for boyfriends child?
Comments (61)Don't waste your time ladies and gent.... She knows her BF is a deadbeat and she supports him. I wanted to say the same thing so badly. Life together, Quirk stated "you get to see how your partner parents. Not how they say they plan to parent, but how they actually do parent." Why are there not enough clues for you? It is all these types of things that happen over time you get to see and scrutinize to determine if this is the kind of person you want to plan a life with. What you are doing is deciding you want a deadbeat dad for your own child(ren); you are deciding that for your own children, you want not only a deadbeat dad but one who is emotionally abusive to them and to you; you are deciding you want a man who is so controlling you stay confused most of your life and there is no way you can possibly do anything right because he finds something wrong with everything (the subject of his daughter is only the tip of the iceberg); you are deciding you want a man who does not consider your time, your feelings, or your existence as a human being who deserves any kind of respect; you are deciding you want a man who use his passive/aggressive tactics to constantly keep you feeling guilty and make you think you are the one always in the wrong; you are deciding you want a man who will bad mouth you to your children, family, and friends. You are not special. You only fool yourself into thinking you are because you are the person with him and you just loooooove 'im. But when the two of you break up (unless you take his abuse for the rest of your life), you will see him do the exact same things he has done to his ex and his daughter. With each of your subsequent posts, you make clearer the things you stated prior. I don't know why we have to pull your teeth because some of the initial posts have lacked information we would need to in order to satisfy what you expect from us. They also made you look like the bad guy. A little of that part I still question but really think those circumstances were created out of your desperation to finally do something that pleases him - a man who cannot be pleased. But this is getting worse by the word. Sylviatexas had him pegged from the beginning. LOL I should have known better than to second guess her. There is nothing to figure. There is nothing to try an remedy. There is nothing to talk to him about to try to straighten out. The only thing for you to do is decide to stay (all the things you are deciding you want) or go. But that was never your question, was it? You already said you don't want to leave. Therefore, I hope you are able to eek out a happy life and smile through the misery....See MoreNeeds Advice-How can I cope with my boyfriend having a child
Comments (61)I don't know -- I married a man that was never married and had no children and it has been drama free bliss! Just because I was married and had children does not mean that I MUST be a stepmom NOW. I chose not to be a stepmom for this simple reason. If OP was a mom, it would not change the BM in her life. it wouldn't help her to understand either. My ex's new wife is a divorced mom and she is the crazy one. I've heard from my Dd that she is a crazy BM too. I have no idea although I can't imagine her ever being sane anyway. I think your advice is great for a person who enjoys being #1 and wants to be the first wife and the first mom and the first of everything. But that isn't how everyone is. I AM THAT way! I did not want to deal with someone else's kids and someone else's baby momma. That's just me being honest. I dated this guy once that did have kids. He was divorced but his ex lived on the other side of the country. She was never a problem for me. This was when I made my 'no ex or kids' rule. But the guy was always talking trash about the mother of his children. She was a B or she was a Wh09e or she was spending his child support on a new car, this and that. I would get so mad at him. Why? Because I was a mom and these same complaints were being said about me. They could have been in a 'hate my ex' club together. He would go on and on about how he never loved her and that they were young and dumb and she for pregnant on the pill etc. And this was a man that I really really liked. But the more he talked the less I respected him and felt sorry for his ex wife. No one should use the young and dumb or drunk excuse when talking about how they conceived their children. I realized that I had become that ex that men complain about and place blame on AND that I could be her AGAIN with this new guy. Because he could not stop talking trash about her I wondered what he would say about me when we split!! I also just told my husband, do you realize I trapped you into pregnancy? Lol he said WHAT? I said remember how I was on birth control but I had gotten strep throat and received a shot of penicillin? He said ya and your BC didn't work anymore that month Yea I remember. I said 'and do you remember how drunk I was that night?' he said nope cause I don't remember it myself. Lol yes my son was conceived on birth control, on the night of our company christmas party when I was suffering from the worst case of strep EVER!! I hope he tells his second wife what a wh09e I was for trapping him into having our first son. Lol it will be a riot!! Any woman that sits back and listens to that garbage and still respects the man enough to marry him and have more children with him, better hope she never ends up being his ex....See Morechoppymom
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