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Not surprised!

Posted by incognitomom (My Page) on
Sun, Feb 6, 11 at 20:26

Last weekend ss had a sporting event. I told bm about it over a month ago when she came by to exchange ss's Christmas gift. I only mentioned it because ss was telling bm about his sport and she said she wanted to see him sometime. So I said well he has a tourney on ____ at ___. She said she would request off work and be there! LOL

So tourney day comes. Dh had to work and sd's didn't want to come. Tourneys are an all day thing. I told them bm said she was coming (she had texted 3 days prior for directions). They rolled their eyes and said they wanted to stay home.

So I get ss to tourney and his first match was soon after. We had saved bm seats by us because the bleachers were filling up fast. I texted bm to see if she was ther yet and told her ss's match was about to begin. She then calls me a while later to tell me that she requested off work, but the person that was covering for her called off sick. So her work told her she had to come in.

(I have a hard time believing this because she is a cashier at a store...don't think she requested off a month ago if she had to find her replacement...also had suspicions that bf wouldn't let her take the car or something at the last minute)

Anyways then she starts crying saying that she can't lose her job but she does not want to disappoint ss again. It took all I had to not say that all the kids are used to being disappointed by her! But I didn't. Then she talked to ss and gave him the sob story and he really didn't care. I know he never expected her to come. Then he says that she wants to know when his upcoming tourneys are so she can come!

So should I even bother texting her the info? Or just avoid it until she calls about it?


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Not surprised!

say nothing to her, she wants to come, she'll find the ways.

her BF probably does not allow her to come. cashiers in the store could get time off requested awhile ago, she is lying. poor children and poor you.

you did so much already to get her involved. you are such a great person and mom.

what does your DH say about all this? how much more your kids and DH and you have to endure from BM and her BF?


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RE: Not surprised!

Just email her the list of tourneys and forget about it. She can find her own seat.


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RE: Not surprised!

I agree, give her the dates. Otherwise, she could use the excuse that she wanted to go but nobody told her when so she didn't know. blah blah blah

Send it & don't bother confirming with her or saving her a seat. If she has chosen to be with a man that makes it difficult if not impossible for her to participate in her kids lives, that is HER choice.


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RE: Not surprised!

I agree with Susan and Ima. But so far all she did was tell SS she wanted the list, right? So wait for her to ask you personally. If she does, send it on over.

But don't hold your breath...or a seat.


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RE: Not surprised!

Well I decided to take your advice and get her a list of dates/times. So I texted her the next month's worth of activities for all 3 kids. We will see what (if anything) she shows up to. So far she texted me back and said that she is going to try to make an activity coming up at one of sd's schools. We will see.


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