I am hard put to understand all the things that are happening these days. It isn't just the teachers preying on these young students it's also things like kids killing kids, women killing pregnant women and cutting their babies from the womb, perverts preying on little children. I know the child molesters have always been around but it seems as if there are more and more of them now and all this stuff with young kids beating and killing others their own age. All of it just makes me sick to my stomach. It also makes me wonder if television and computers are such a good thing after all.

please accept my sympathy to you and your family. i think it doesn't matter when you have lot someone that feeling never goes away. in afew weeks i will have been a widow for 4 years. everyday i think of my husband. i remember what we had for supper the night before (roast and veggies) and i haven't made or eaten it since. i still wear my 3 diamond ring he gave me for our 25th anniv. still proudly with my wedding band on my left hand. i also rec'd a diamond tennis bracelet for my 50th bd (all ths jewellery within 2 months of his passing) along with a puppy gracie joy devine (i swore we would never have another pet) i live in northern ontario so i know about cold and snow today it was minus 43! i walk 21/2 miles one way everyday to visit him at the cemetery. i hate him for leaving me. my husband was just loved by everyone, he had that kind of personality. our son hAS taken over some of his dads traits like volunteering etc. and i don't think our daughter will ever get over losing her date, she was home when the firetrucks and ambulance came to the house, but she has learned to be a nicer person. life is so funny those mean people we all know seem to live forever and ever. it took me about a year to mention Al's name but now i make sure that the kids (well 22 and 27) hear atleast one story about their dad. again i'm sorry for your loss

Hi silversword. Thanks for the response. A PI is Public Intoxication. He was actually walking along the sidewalk with one foot on the curb, one foot off, trying to catch a cab. We live in a college town and it was a football rally night and tons of students were out (along with lots of cops to keep things in line). Don't think he was drunk - just had had a drink but the point is: why the heck would you be drinking at all if you just got a DWI 4 days earlier?? I'd be freaked out. That's why we are pretty sure he has a drinking problem. As for drugs, he's said he tried pot but didn't like it at all. Don't think there's coke or anything else involved b/c I think he would be dropping those 30+ lbs he's gained. In fact, I overheard him talking to the Assessment Counselor for that 6 week recovery class we're 'making him' go to and he said only alcohol and 'dip'. But I agree - it does sound/look like drugs. Seriously, to meet my son, you would think he was just fine. Clean cut, manners, talks intelligently - but it's all just that 'performance' he does, I think, because 'if I look good on the outside, I must be okay'. Very sad. Oh- the student loans are $30,000-private university (which we co-signed on and agreed to pay half since he planned to get a business/accounting degree - math brain -and should be making a salary to take on those loans) plus the $8000+ in credit cards plus the DWI lawyer($2500) + fines related to that. Yes, it's huge. And stressful. And unfortunately, to cope, he blows it off. And apparently drinks. He does recognize he's self sabotaging but again, he knows what to do to change and can't make himself do it. I'm thinking more depression. But he refused medication the first time around and I had to agree mainly because he drinks and I was afraid of the combination. Heavy sigh...

Wow, I'm sorry about this. I'm afraid that if you let this girl make 'grown-up' decisions, your DH could become estranged from her - that will only let the gap widen. Do you have any reasons as to why she suddenly feels this way? I assume you were not the reason her parents divorced and that she has no reason (mother) to believe her parents would be together were it not for you? A couple of things I would recommend: 1. DH talks to his ex to see if she knows what's the problem. Is she using any divorce poisoning? Most kids don't take such a strong stance w/o some encouragement from their most influential person (mom, usually.) 2. DH must not allow her to disrespect you, as his wife, or you will grow resentful - of this I'm sure - been there. I would explore the help of a marriage/family counselor NOW. My DH and I waited til recently to seek counseling - my skids are grown, but we've never had an easy road. Many men are non-custodial parents and are afraid of 'losing' the kids even more. So, they back down when the little voice inside them tells them it's not the right path, they reward bad behavior out of guilt, etc. It really leads to problems in adulthood - for many of these kids' relationships. Have you and this girl gotten along rather well up until this point? I'm curious as to why you've only known her for six mos. Did you have a whirlwind romance? Or, did you give him and his DDs space on their weekends? How long have you both been divorced? What is the ex-wife like? If the ex is not bitter or angry or jealous, she will be the key to getting through this. If she is any of those things, I'm afraid you have a very tough uphill battle. But, if DH gives in to his DD, you can bet she will begin to work on her sister and that relationship will also deteriorate. Good luck - please fill in the blanks a little. My skids and I get along much better these days, but those early days were he!! for me. I still have issues, and the SS hasn't spoken to us in over 2 yrs. His sisters have their calls unanswered for months at a time. His mother hasn't heard from him in longer than us (he has issues: lifestyle, bad choices, etc.) Anyway, the ex in my case pinned me as a homewrecker - ironic since she had a long affair during their marriage. Later, like three years later, she found the Lord and confessed, but a lot of bad water had gone under the bridge - it's still a tough process to fix the damage. Some days I want to mend the fences, but others, I just am burned out. At least the girls are adults and fairly self-sufficient these days. All the best, Dana